buba Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 To make a long story short... Went through a very painful break up, took me two years to get over it... Met someone, fell in love, broke up with the guy I was casually dating cause he insisted. He was showering me with compliments and gifts...he was too good to be true, and he was.... In the last few weeks he became distant, there were less affection and he stopped calling completely...just like that. Never any explanation... He knows that I am in love with him, wonder if it's a turn off for him...now that he doesn't have to fight for me any longer... I am so devastated and so lost. Feel really down and depressed... Please help... Link to comment
MorbidMetalHead87 Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Yeah It sounds like he is scared off comitment, My ex was like that to. Link to comment
Veroni Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 First, stop trying to figure out his actions. You are never going to get the answer that you want. It will never make sense to you. With that said.....drop this guy and heal yourself. You will be ok and you shouldnt ever have to feel responsible for how someone else handles themself. If he is turned off by love then he doesnt deserve yours. You worthy of the chase and he should have counted his blessings by having you love him. Since he didnt it makes him the bad person not YOU! Dont ever let anyone steal your happiness from you, you need to thank your lucky stars that this guy showed you who he is. Look at all the things that you like about yourself and dont let this person get you down. He was too good to be true, thats the lesson you learned from this.....but what I hope you see is that YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR THIS. Heal and move on. Be strong. Take from this as a way to better yourself. Good Luck. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Stopped calling completely. No explanation. That's a sad way to go. Quite frankly, that's not a man and you are better off! It's better to find out these things sooner rather than later. I know it hurts but imagine how much worse you would feel years down the road. Cheer up hun. Link to comment
buba Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 When we met, I was with another guy and I told him about him. He was so persistent and tried so very hard to win my heart...and he did. We have only been together for a few months...not long at all, but enough for me to feel so depressed... What did I do? I showed him how much I cared...probably a big mistake... Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 What did I do? the only mistake you are making is right there ^^. What did I do? You did nothing. It was him. He wasn't ready to commit and wasn't man enough to tell you to your face, so he took the 'easy' way out. Link to comment
twinkle72 Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 No explanation? What a jerk!!! When did this happen? Have you tried to contact him? You should be able to show how much you care, love is NOT about games!!! Link to comment
buba Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 It happened yesterday...he even deleted me from his friends on myspace today... How lame. It hurts as hell...I started smoking again... Link to comment
Poe Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 Stop and put down those cigarettes. Some guy who bamboozled you for a few months isn't worth that. A real man would at least tell you to your face. I've ALWAYS broken up with girls to their face. I've been called every name under the sun, but I'm very direct in my relationships and I've never cheated. You should expect no less, as I expect no less from a woman I am dating and typically have little patience for anything less. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 Classic player...moving quickly, can't get enough of you, showering you with gifts and compliments, blah, blah, blah...and then the big disappearing act. That is the classic player scenario. They woo, get the woman hooked and then leave...all in the blink of an eye. Never trust men who move quickly and shower you with gifts and excessive flattery. They are indeed too good to be true. Link to comment
twinkle72 Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 OMG what a cruel thing to do!!! That seems so juvenile and high school to me. I'm so sorry. UGH. Link to comment
SweetSmilingYeti Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 He sounds like MY ex.......douche bags I hope you feel better hon Link to comment
buba Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 Classic player...perfect description...so sad. I am so sad. I trusted the guy...and, yes, he was too good to be true. Link to comment
beebee Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 buba... i remember reading your posts from your last breakup and how painful it was for you... you were so hurt and confused and like all the other stories i read on ENA, it broke my heart... your such a lovely, beautiful lady and even though you have a giving heart, you are falling for the wrong kind of man... maybe you should investigate and look inside yourself to see why you seem to pick this type of man... aside from that... you have already been through so much hurt from the first ex that i would guess that this time you will get over this man much much sooner... you didnt put too much time in this relationship and too much energy for you not to get over him quickly... you already know what he is/was and that he is the one with the problem, not you... if you can truly look back at your relationship and say to yourself that you played no games and really gave your heart to him, with all trust and love, then youve done nothing wrong... you just trusted again... just give yourself some time alone with just you and your daughter... put your energies into your little family and your work and true love will come to you sooner then you think... the ole saying "if its too good to be true, then it is"... next time you will be so much wiser... youll see... your going to be fine... hugs... beebee Link to comment
buba Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 beebee, you are so right about my choices... cried all night, smoked lots of sigs... Feeling really down today. Talked to him on the phone last night. I called and asked what happened. He said that he was really busy and couldn't talk... It's over. I am trying to pick up the pieces again...so hard. Link to comment
buba Posted February 7, 2008 Author Share Posted February 7, 2008 Barely went through the day at work...cried all the way through the lunch break... Feeling really down... Link to comment
twinkle72 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 off topic but is that you in your avatar? What a JERK!!!! the fact that he won't even take time to speak to you like a man makes me want to scream. I'm so sorry that you put your heart on the line again and had this happen to you. Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Sorry to hear what you're going through. But the first thing you have to do is to take care of yourself and that means putting down the cigarettes, cry it all out and don't ever wonder what you did. You did nothing wrong. He messed up, you didn't. Andy Link to comment
buba Posted February 7, 2008 Author Share Posted February 7, 2008 Twinkle,yes it is my avatar... Link to comment
buba Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 Wow...just wow... He texted me yesterday. He said that he was sorry that he hurt my feelings,but he met someone and started to like her a lot. He also said that he was sorry that things turn out this way. I am totally devastated. It hurts so much..... Link to comment
Anotherday Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Wow...just wow... He texted me yesterday. He said that he was sorry that he hurt my feelings,but he met someone and started to like her a lot. He also said that he was sorry that things turn out this way. I am totally devastated. It hurts so much..... Wow. I am so sorry and I TOTALLY understand what you are going through. I recently had pretty much the same thing happen to me (was super attentive at the beginning, a real gentleman, asked me a month in advance to spend Christmas Eve with him, would make plans, etc) and then the day after I'd taken him out for his birthday...well, that was the last time he ever called me. I got the I am sorry, I never meant to hurt you, things are changing with my ex GF and I must see it through crap, via email, not once but twice, as if to imply I was some defect who just didn't get I was being dumped. I've been smoking like a chimney and gained ten lbs. I agree with the others. If there is a way to STOP turning all this anguish against yourself (like with the cigs) that is the way to go. No doubt it will take some time to get over him. For me, I have told myself I just have to try to minimize the damage. Then there was another guy right before this guy who was madly in love with me who unceremoniously dumped me the night after I took my clothes off with him and then he (for some reason) makes these monthly phone calls for no reason and I never end up talking to him anyway, so what is the point. Ouch. That really hurt and still does. So, if you just ride this out without getting all pathetic like I do you will heal much sooner. I am so sorry this happened. Link to comment
Anotherday Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 BTW, this guy is a MAJOR jerk. There is nothing wrong with you. He handled things extremely poorly. I just hate it when it seems like men are not willing to demonstrate any accountability for what they do. They whirl into your life, do their thing, and leave damage in their wake. This makes me long for the old days, days before me, when men had some sense of honor and there must have been some moral code that men just did not behave this way. But then I think there are not many real men around these days anyway. Link to comment
buba Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 He broke up with me via text message.... How lame. I am extremely down today...cried all morning... He never even had the guts to call and tell me that he met someone. and this is the guy that told me that I was the most perfect angel that God created...he wrote me poetry and really was too good to be true. He told me that he loved me few weeks after we met... I was so happy. now i am heartbroken...again. I miss him so much. Link to comment
Anotherday Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Is it possible you miss who you thought he was and not who he really is? If this had happened to a friend of yours and this guy broke up with her via text message, would you think she had lost that much? Just wondering if we don't fall for an illusion sometimes and not the real nature of who someone is, in your case a real coward and jerk. Link to comment
buba Posted February 9, 2008 Author Share Posted February 9, 2008 It's possible that I miss who I thought he was... Damn, a blender in my guts...hate the feeling. Link to comment
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