men & sex (really short)

[shoegal21]

I ask this question to both men and women.

 

If a guy eg; your boyfriend can be in a relationship for however long, lets say six months. Could it still be "just sex." Wouldn't you get emotionally attatched?

 

To put this better, do you think a guy would stay with his g/f for that long if it was just for the sex? Wouldn't he have some sort of attatchment that wasn't just physical, like an emotional attatchment???

 

I hope this makes sense? Im not sure if Im putting it into words quite right.

[Dako]

Some guys stay for years just for sex.

[PocoDiablo]

I've been in a few relationships that were just sex for 1-2 years. In one case there was no attachment, in the other she was very attached to me but I was not to her.

[zippitt]

I don't really think it is so much men or women but just different personalities. I couldn't go six months with just sex. Normally you have to talk to someone at least a little and you start to get to know them on a more personal level.

 

Now maybe if the only interaction I had with someone was opening the door and jumping in the bed without a word spoken. Sure, but that would also be kind of creepy.

[shoegal21]

Well, im talking a relationship. Meaning, you talk . . . you know eachother. But to one person it's all about sex, nothing emotional. But I mean a normal bf/gf relationship . ..

[taosnake]

If that is all he wants and you aren't making it too dificult for him and it is still good sex then yes.

Although there is no real way to know either way, the only thing you can do is make certain tha you are happy in the relationship that you are in.

 

What do you think is the problem with him just being in the relationship just for sex?

[TheFoglifter]

A man who values sex is not going to leave a relationship in which sex is plentiful.

 

If you are asking whether or not after 6 months of "just sex" would feelings develop, the answer is who the hell knows! Some will, some won't!

 

If this question is in relation to your boyfriend mentioned in other posts though, i think you are painting quite a picture.

[shoegal21]

It's not in relation to my boyfriend. I was asked this question by a friend, and I did not know the answer.

[chai714]

I ask this question to both men and women.

 

If a guy eg; your boyfriend can be in a relationship for however long, lets say six months. Could it still be "just sex." Wouldn't you get emotionally attatched?

 

To put this better, do you think a guy would stay with his g/f for that long if it was just for the sex? Wouldn't he have some sort of attatchment that wasn't just physical, like an emotional attatchment???

 

I hope this makes sense? Im not sure if Im putting it into words quite right.

 

I think you're asking if a couple is together for 6+ months, could it still be considered "just sex" for the guy?

 

Like Dako said, guys can go years of "just sex." It all depends on the guy though. Generally speaking, the process of becoming emotionally attached can involve sex but sex in and of itself doesn't necessarily aid in the process of becoming emotionally attached.

 

*Historically, it has been my experience that females often become more emotionally involved after sex. I think once sex occurs, many feel that their relationship is progressing. However, note that men do not have sex as a way of progressing a relationship but moreso because it's instinctive.

[shikashika]

yes.. i think it can be 'just sex'.. I know guys who have been in f-buddy relationships for years.. and they don't want to commit but the women do.

[Lady Bugg]

Hmmm...this is interesting.

So say a guy is seeing TWO women non exclusively...

 

One woman he has sex with on a regular basis..but has not

brought up taking things to the "next level"...

 

The other he has a very deep friendship with and spends time with

OUTSIDE of the bedroom....but...no sex

 

Which one is he "in love " with?

[taosnake]

Hmmm...this is interesting.

So say a guy is seeing TWO women non exclusively...

 

One woman he has sex with on a regular basis..but has not

brought up taking things to the "next level"...

 

The other he has a very deep friendship with and spends time with

OUTSIDE of the bedroom....but...no sex

 

Which one is he "in love " with?

 

Both, although highly unlikely unless the one he has a friendship with has been stringing him along for years.

[jimthzz]

That's easy. Himself!

 

One is his FWB, the other is his mother.

[shoegal21]

 

*Historically, it has been my experience that females often become more emotionally involved after sex. I think once sex occurs, many feel that their relationship is progressing. However, note that men do not have sex as a way of progressing a relationship but moreso because it's instinctive.

 

I agree with that. Once a girl has sex, she become emotionally involved.

 

This isn't an F buddy relationship. It's a bf/gf thing. They've been together for some time now, they tell eachother they love eachother. They do things together. But at times, she feels like he is only in it for the sex. She says he is nicest at the time of sex. He also tells her, she is the best sex of his life. So she gets the vibe that he may be with her, just for the sex.

[TheFoglifter]

So let me guess... her instinct now is to determine whether or not he is just in it for the sex by cutting off sex. He'll be unhappy because he's being denied sex and he'll start to lose interest, at which point she will feel justified.

 

I wonder how accurate her analysis of the whole picture is. It seems like she has an opinion in mind and is finding ways to justify it, whether they do or not.

[Suesser Tod]

She says he is nicest at the time of sex. He also tells her, she is the best sex of his life. So she gets the vibe that he may be with her, just for the sex.

 

 

 

She wants out and is trying to make up an excuse to get herself out of that relationship. It's as simple as that. I can't tell why she is doing that, maybe she is trying to sabotage the relationship or trying to fullfil her own profecy or she is not really feeling that great about the relationship as she makes it up to be.

[jettison]

I ask this question to both men and women.

 

If a guy eg; your boyfriend can be in a relationship for however long, lets say six months. Could it still be "just sex." Wouldn't you get emotionally attatched?

 

To put this better, do you think a guy would stay with his g/f for that long if it was just for the sex? Wouldn't he have some sort of attatchment that wasn't just physical, like an emotional attatchment???

 

I hope this makes sense? Im not sure if Im putting it into words quite right.

 

You asked if it made sense. I'm not sure. From the title, is it the man or the sex that's "really short"? If the man is really short, I think he probably loves you. If it's the sex, then probably not. Hope this helps.

[barbielovesmac]

Hi Shoegal, lovely as ever

 

To answer your question AT HAND, I think it's definetly possible to be with someone so long, and one person be in it for just the sex. Girls, no doubt get emotionally attatched and some almost instantly. Sex is not only a physical thing it's an emotional thing. And a lot of people believe sex should be shared between two people who truly care for eachother.

 

After reading one of your replies, you said that your friend feels like it may only be for the sex because of her bf's actions, and how he tells her it is the best sex of his life. Well, I would take that as a compliment and i'd accept it for what it is. She may be reading into it too much. Men are always on there best behaivor when they want to get in between the sheets. I know girls who are like that also, so it's not just men.

 

I think she may be reading into it too much. Sex is a big part of a relationship. I don't think she has anything to worry about until thats all that they do, cause you say they do normal bf/gf things and actually have a relationship. Any guy who was just in it for sex without ANY emotional attatchment wouldnt stuck around for SO long. He also wouldn't do the boyfriend girlfriend thing if it was just sex. There is an attatchment there. I'd just tell her to relax and to not read into it so much.

[shoegal21]

i meant short as in a short post! lol not a short guy

[aNnAeLiZaBeTh]

depends on the guy, how good the sex is, and how often he is gettin' it.

[adam3]

I felt emotionally attached to my gf after the first week or two of us dating. We really complemented each other. I have still never found someone who I like being around as much as her. We have been dating for almost 2 years. (The sex with her is amazing as well )

[Day_Walker]

I am not going to speculate with the exact percentage of men that stay with a girl because they can get consistent sex but I know a lot. There are guys out there who just dont want or cant build an emotional attachment when they know all they want is just sex. Now some men may want sex in the beginning and emotions develop and im sure that happens a lot of the time atleast from what I have seen.

[tiredofvampires]

To the OP, I would say that it sounds like your friend has a guy who is emotionally involved, and he appreciates the sex a lot -- but also, if he "treats her best" when they have sex, that can be a not so good sign of his ability to be intimate, emotionally. I think there are some guys like this, who have a wall of sorts, a kind of macho or invulnerable side that only comes down when they do something as close as sex. As a matter of fact, I think that it's one sign that he may have a LOT of feeling for her, but doesn't know how to express it in a passionate way outside of sex itself. That is something that comes with being a more mature man, being able to open up at other times, and also learning how to be romantic as a prelude to sex. So I think if anything, the problem is his self-expression and ability to show his love in other ways.

[EvaGina]

hes jsut waiting till someone comes along who satifies more than just his physical needs...

[mjeswoosh]

hey shoegal,

 

I think it depends upon the situation. If a girl sleeps with a guy right away he is going to expect sex since it was established early in the relationship. If you build a relationship on values other than sex, I believe you wont have anything to worry about. In most cases! But to answer your question more directly, yeah guys want sex, if a woman gives it up too early things just seem too easy. For some reason, men and women alike, need a challenge. When things come too easy in life, we do not always repsect it like we should. Make us work for it, earn it and we will respect you more.

 

Example: My g/f and I almost had sex after just a few days. Im 32 now but in my early 20's I would have jumped at the chance. Instead, I gave her oral, fingered her and pleased her. Afterwards, she wanted to know why I didnt want to have sex. I told her I wanted her to know I respected her and wasnt out just to get sex. That drove her crazy; I was a challenge for her.