Which Would U Prefer????

[ONE HOT MAMA]

Whats more hurtful for you?? Being dumped WITH an explanation ...and the brutal truth?

OR being dumped with NO warning.....no answer and or/no closure...drawing your OWN conclusions???

 

PS....please don't say NEITHER. That an OBVIOUS answer......

[Dako]

Being dumped hurts no matter what baloney the ex crams down your sorry throat.

Once you've been jettisoned, it's up to you.

[ONE HOT MAMA]

Well I pose this question because a lot of dumpees seem to WANT answers...but if they actually GOT them would they be any happier or content??

 

I have been on both sides.Guess I have to say I prefer the brutal truth....but

of course that never stopped me from hoping either.

[Bankers24]

I want the brutual truth! I don't like being fed a bunch of baloney nor do I ever feed someone a bunch of baloney!

[Leonhart]

The truth of course. Otherwise you'd go insane from trying to figure out what is the problem. At least this way... you know, and that's that.

[itsallgrand]

Would rather be ripped into than that hidden escape crap.

 

Like a band-aid. Rip it off fast then, if you insist. Let's get all the puss out into the air.

 

Brutal truth? Nah, it's the choice between listening to blathering or standing there wondering what just happened?'.

[Milk You]

I'd want the brutal truth. Gotta know what to work on, if anything.

[thelonelydoll]

Definitely an honest explanation.

[annie24]

even if you hear "the brutal truth" - it is their brutal truth, not your truth. if someone breaks up with you because they think you are "too clingy", someone else may think you are a "devoted" partner. just a matter of perspective.

 

that said, yes, I'd rather hear a reason rather than nothing at all.

[Cimmie]

Dumping someone without an explanation or a warning is a disgusting and cruel thing to do.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I wouldn't really care, its their loss.

[ElektraHere]

I would rather hear something than wonder..... * * *???

[renaissancewoman101]

If I got dumped, I would like to know WHY and if anything can be done about. Also, if there is no explaination, you are left wondering why and that will eat you up.

[jettison]

Dumping someone without an explanation or a warning is a disgusting and cruel thing to do.

 

 

Well, i'm definitely in the minority here, but I like to hear a really good, intricate lie. Something that takes a lot of thought, that drags out for a week, has many inconsistencies, and grows swiftly toward the realm of "tall tale". That way, when I look back and reflect, I can say "Dam n! That chick was nucking futz!"

[Cimmie]

Well, i'm definitely in the minority here, but I like to hear a really good, intricate lie. Something that takes a lot of thought, that drags out for a week, has many inconsistencies, and grows swiftly toward the realm of "tall tale". That way, when I look back and reflect, I can say "Dam n! That chick was nucking futz!"

 

Yes, I suppose they'll always sugar the pill anyway, either to 'make you feel better' or to salve their own consciences. You can't bloody win.

[BetterKarma]

I rather be told the brutal truth and be done with it.

 

If you are told a bunch of sugar coated lies, you end up having false hope about a reconciliation. It's better to have a clean cut.

[servedcold]

I would prefer to receive this text message one day (not original to me, saw it somewhere on these forums):

 

"The person who is reading this has just become single."

 

I hate the two following with a passion, have heard them once each in my life, and ironically, it made things easier because I lost all respect for the woman in question once I heard them:

 

"I'm not able at this point in my life to be the person you deserve."

 

and the big baddie...

 

"I love you but am no longer in love with you."

 

Any person who uses either of these is a creep in my book.

[DopeMan1]

You dont even need to explain it.

 

Just tell them you dont want to be with them anymore.

 

But to say nothing and to leave them completely confused is * * * *ing weird and cruel.

[renaissancewoman101]

Dopeman, I think the dumpee is entitled to an explaination. With most normal people, if their SO comes and tells them "it's over, good-bye", they are going to want to know WHY!!!!!! If not as a salve for their broken heart, but also to find out if there is anything to be done to salvage relationship

[jettison]

Yes, I suppose they'll always sugar the pill anyway, either to 'make you feel better' or to salve their own consciences. You can't bloody win.

 

That's right Cimmie. Either way I'd feel bad, but if they make something up then the stories on ENA are more entertaining for the members. Altruism.

[jettison]

I rather be told the brutal truth and be done with it.

 

If you are told a bunch of sugar coated lies, you end up having false hope about a reconciliation. It's better to have a clean cut.

 

You mean, you don't like it when they end their goodbye letter to you with "I love you ?" I thought that little detail was downright charming.

[Weeblie]

I'd rather hear the brutal truth. Actually, I'd rather hear something like this...

Come on, be honest with yourself, you know this isn't what you want either.

[tmp0620]

Yup... honesty is the best policy.

 

It's better to know and understand exactly what happened than to wonder about it.

[devast]

Brutal truth.... immediately upon break-up.... its painful but, I believe, you'll move on faster... You'll accept that "s**t happens" faster...

 

"I love you but "..... gives you hope...throws you in much confusions... Worst is in the finally hour, you'll still find the "brutal truth"...and that there is unforgettable/unforgivable (no truth can be lied about forever).... for me

[Firedancer03]

Well I was dumped without any warning/explanation, and I definitely have to say I would have much rather him take the HONESTY route! He just up and dumped me and I had no idea anything was even wrong. And on top of it all the only real reasons he gave me were the cliche "Its not you, its me" and "you deserve better", and my personal favorite, "I think we'll both be happier this way." This made the breakup much more painful than it needed to be. I was left broken-hearted, confused, and wondering what the REAL reason was (even though he "promised" me that he was being completely honest with me---excuse me while I go over here and laugh).

 

He gave me false hopes by saying "I don't know what I'll want in the future" and I was clinging on for 3 months before I finally cut the cord with him, and even after that I was still trying to make sense of WHY he dumped me in the first place. It wasn't until 7 months after the breakup (while he was still begging to be friends with me) that I found out that he had met someone else who he thought would make him happier. It clearly didn't work out because he was never in a serious relationship after we broke up.

 

But the point is, I really would have rather heard him say "Firedancer03, I do not want to be in this relationship with you anymore because of such and such a reason, and I have met someone else who I would like to date instead. I am sorry and I hope you can find someone who will make you happy because I am not that person anymore." Sure it would have hurt, but at least that would have been the closure I longed for, and I most definitely would not have felt that we would get back together someday. I would have been able to move on much faster. Stringing someone along is not acceptable at all!