jet

One thing i would say here is to think a little differently. Ladies in my experience like it when you do something anticipated but unexpected. So maybe take what you think she may like and notch it up one! Its a bit hard to put into words so probably not making much sense, so i'll try an explain a little further! When asking my girl friend if she had any ideas what she'd like for Valentines day, she very jokingly said "something to sleep in would be great." So immediatley (typical bloke) i'm thinking P.J's So there i am going round for a meal on Valentines day, she's cooking, bottle of wine, DVD, then we exchange gifts.... i got her a box of fresh rose petals... its her favourite flower, they smelt great, that was some serious points scored for me, and more importantly our relationship ( I won't go into details!!). So what i'm saying is do something anticipated but unexpected, she had no idea, but it was little different, and she really admired my thinking. Just an idea, but it worked for her!! Jet

Hey, So....... further to my last post " Do nice guys come last?", of which i am thankful for your responses, i want to further my question, i'm sure its been brought up before but i'm kinda new to this! So the question is, if nice guys don't come last, then what is it that women want? I understand that every lady outthere is different, everyone has their own agenda as to what they find appealing, or attractive, so whats yours? Kind? strong? confident? challenging? wealthy? are looks important to you? who he hangs out with? how he treats you? Career prospects? family? how much money he earns? i could go on all night! I'd appreciate some very real answers here- so all those who just want a cheeky smile and a good sense of humour, don't waste your time on a response. Be harsh if needs be- tell us fellas who keep getting screwed over, what you fine young ladies are looking for thesedays. Maybe then we'll begin to understand what you ladies are wanting! I hope this gets the response i hope it will xxx

I'm gonna throw something into the fire here and see what you think. Its quite simple.. Do nice guys come last? I'm sick and tired of it, its not my nature to be nasty or treat women in a disrespectful way.. for me its quite simple..... all i want is a girl who will love me as much as I love them. I don't know what the problem is... i work damn hard to get the to where I want to be in life, i take risks which pay off, and i bend over backwards to help people out before i even look at my own problems. I just don't understand what the problem is...maybe i'm missing something... do women want a fella who's gonna be harsh and nasty with them... is that the attraction?...ultimatley do women want to be messed around so they've got something to talk about with their girlie friends? How does it work? Please enlighten me so i can fnally get a grip on what goes through your heads!!!! So what do you think? Any comments from women are espeacailly welcomed Cheers

Hey you, You don't actually state what the problem is so heres my interpretation! Its so brave of you to come on this forum, because people don't like to admit that things are so bad. It really isn't that bad... i think its just come as a shock... theres a big damn scary world out there and at somepoint we all have to face it. Its not easy... this whole life thing is not easy... you don't get a manual of how to do it... the majority of the time you're only ever told when you're wrong...never praised when you're right. Every single person on this planet has the same thoughts as you. They're scared.... scared how unpredictable everything is... but the next time you're walking down the street, just look at the people around you getting on with their lives. So, please, you are no different from the rest of us.. you can sort this, just take it all in your stride, you're not supposed to know how to do it straight away.. sure there's ups and downs, some days its crap, but for every crap day, there's 10 days of sheer exhileration even from the little things that happen to you. I garauntee you will know what i mean (and hopefully remember this post!)... so get out of bed, draw back the curtains, dust yourself off... step outside and take a deep breath... because its not that bad after all!!! x

Hey, A colleague of mine had depression through work from the office, and he leaned on me talk about it. Its a terrible thing to have.. and i imagine you feel kind of helpless becuase there's nothing you can say or do take this problem away from her. So my advice to you would to sit tight, just be there for her, offer her lots of reassurnace, and when the s*it really hits the fan, all you have to do is stick your arms round her and tell her that everything is gonna be alright. Its the greatest comfort of all. In terms of you being a sucker for this.. i don't think anyone can really comment on that, as long as your happy, and you can handle the situation, which at times i garauntee will be tricky, i think you'll be fine. Just keep her talking to you about it, and let her lean on you when she needs to. The other thing i'd say is to try and be as "normal" as possible with her, keep taking her out places, and meeting with friends etc... , it'll take her mind off it, and maybe speed up the recovery process, don't let the illness affect every part of her life. If its anything like my experience there'll be periods of awkward silence when she's not talking and you feel that theres nothing left to say that you haven't already said, so maybe something else to adjust to. In the event that you can't handle it anymore... she's likely to come back at you with allsorts.. and i imagine you'll be left feeling pretty guilty about leaving her when she's in this position, but don't forget, your not bound into this relationship, its ok for you to end this if it gets too heavy. As for the sex drive...its probably not on her "to do" list if she's not feeling too good about herself, so just be patient, it'll slowly get back to how it was. Sometimes being intimate with someone doesn't mean just sex. I was once told "fall down seven times stand up 8." Maybe try keeping her in a positive frame of mind, although for her it may seem like the end of the world!!! So just lots of reassurance that you're there for her, and that you really do care... can't stress that enough. Just because she feels down- doesn't mean she has to stay there. Hope this helps

Hey, In my experience, she wants to talk, if you break the message up, it seems like she can't bring herself to talk about the situation- yet she realises that she can't just put your relationship down and walk away. If i were you, and you still care about her (which it sounds like you do!) I'd call her. But be careful- it could go either way. Maybe she's just waiting for you to make the first move. Women sometimes play mind games to see what reaction they get from the fella, so call her, but have a game plan, not to sound under-hand or anything, but know what you want to say...and make sure you get that point accross, depending on your gut instinct as to which way the concersation will go. Chin up mate, these things usually come out in the wash!!