Capricorn3

^ I can only repeat the above. Nothing's changed. 🙄

When anything gets to that ^ point, there's a huge problem. It's become an obsession. Being late for work, lack of responsibility as a parent etc etc, this guy has lost the plot. He needs help, but I highly doubt he'll make an effort to get it - simply because he doesn't care. OP, you are not wrong for getting upset. So sorry this is happening. I would dump his sorry a$$. You need to take care of yourself and your children. I wish you well.

Personally, I wouldn't go near this one, right now. First of all, she is, technically still married. I think anyone who is getting a divorce should at least take "time off" from dating, get over the pain and hurt of their marriage ending, grieve, etc for at least a full year to get their head together, before launching into something new. Especially when she has kids. I mean, she's not even divorced yet and already dating? Lordy, if this isn't rebounding then I don't know what is. I actually feel sorry for the kids. I would say wait until everything is official and settled (the divorce) before going near this one.

Indeed. And then we hope things change from "lostandhurt" no more, to "foundandhappy" 😁

Definitely trust your instinct. This definitely doesn't sound "innocent" (imo).

Agreed. It's also rather disturbing that many of your (OP) posts in this thread have "lol" and smileys, as if the whole thing is so funny and hilarious and remembering it all makes you super happy. 100% of people will not find this amusing at all. I do hope your therapists can get through to you to help you understand.

All I can say is that it's incredibly sad, that through your actions, you are heading towards losing your fiance, and what could have been gaining another lovely family. The writing seems to be on the wall - you're going to shoot yourself in the foot with this obsession about your FMIL having to include you in everything. OP, with all due respect, it is clear that you are hellbent on making your FMIL sound like an awful person and no matter what anyone says, nothing will change your mind. That is clear. You have made up your mind and now we are all at the stage of beating a dead horse - meaning, this is going nowhere. One almost gets the impression that you are deliberately misunderstanding everything she does, or says, and everything that members are trying to convey. Not sure what help you can get anymore, people have tried really hard. I'm out.

I can't quite figure out if you're being for real here. Just because parents have a married son/daughter, doesn't have to mean that they always have to see them as a unit. Goodness me. The son IS still her child and she has every right to see him without you (if she chooses), or give him money etc etc. I have given my daughter and my son plenty of money, for whatever reason, and didn't give the same amount to their partners.

Did she actually say those words?? ..... "by the way, make sure you don't spend it on Jane (whatever name)". Really?

^ I agree.

Quite frankly, his mother has every right to give her son a check for whatever reason. And no, she doesn't need to add your name to the check.

I agree with all the others - stay off Craigslist. And yes, you should offer a salary. Hopefully you earn enough to pay someone.

Thread has run its course.

Yes, absolutely.

Honestly, the vibe I get is that this girl is really not interested in a relationship with you. I mean, you have asked her out what feels like 100 times and she never responds ... until days or weeks later. That, in my book, doesn't show much enthusiasm at all. Also, she has just broken up with her boyfriend, and she has made it quite clear to you that she is very focused on her studies. Two good reasons to not want to go out dating etc. I think you are way more into her than she is into you. I think it's time you moved on.

^ This. 100%.

I don't know, I'm on the fence with this one. From what you say, I get the impression that this friend is a lot of work and eventually it becomes too exhausting to deal with. It's like walking on eggshells all the time. Sometimes there comes a time when the friendship no longer works. It's sad, but that is just the way of life. You need to decide which way you want to go with this. I unfortunately have no idea really as to what you can say to her. Personally, I would probably do the slow fade over time.

I'm so confused, but to me this sounds more like an "on again, off again" scenario 🤔. But, I guess what is clear and what we can all learn from this thread, is that not everything works the same for everybody. Not all women think the same. Not all men think the same. OP, I wish you well.

^ I second this entire post.

^ Um, no. Not always. I am a woman and I know it didn't work that way for me. I actually missed out on so many chances, so many dates with interested men simply because I was so excruciatingly shy that I turned down offers for years and years (including my husband who chased me for almost two years). ....and yes, I WAS very attracted and interested in them. I know plenty of women who didn't "jump at the chance to go out with a man when he asked", lots of different reasons.

I agree. It's hard to give constructive advice when the most important part of the story is missing. What exactly was this about: ...- "I accidently triggered him in a big way and he told me i'm not who he thought I was. He said I was sick and disgusting among other things" ??

......OR........ all that wondering and uncertainty can create a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety....

No. Use this as a learning experience. In future don't get involved with someone who's already in a relationship - you have no business there, and as you learned, you play with fire you get burned. Don't stay in touch with her. You both should use this time to reflect. Move on.

That's because it IS tainted now.

I second Wiseman's post above in its entirety. Totally nailed it and nothing further to add. OP, please read that post several times and really absorb it. You really need to take care of your mental health - the sooner the better.