bikjj

Hey people, it is now day 6 of no contact so I have taken this as a not good sign. In a way i feel better for telling her how i felt, better that I didnt give her the letter, and relieved that I didnt contact her. What do u think?

Hey, I guess being single aint so bad then. I keep feeling i ought to be in a relationship, and people wanna know why im single. This can make me feel unhappy especially when they say you're getting on abit. I have had a couple of very controlling, manipulative and abusive relationships but now I am enjoying the "you never know who you're going to meet" bit. I probably prefer the single life at the moment because dont you just hate people who try to play the teasing and mind games - you know i fancy you and then go flippidy flip flop on you or cold turkey

I take that as a negative.

she aint still called

Well, may be he is just very in touch with his feminin side. This can happen in long term relationships, and when the testosterone levels reduce with age. Studies say that women's sex drive can increase with age due to the changes in the level of hormones. He may be curious, and sometimes some guys can shut their sexual needs down when playing the best 'gay' friend to a girl. I share similar traits to your hubby. Many think i am gay not by looks but because I can be a girl's best friend just like diamonds I likes soppy songs, flowers, musical, massages (yep face, neck and back!), many of my friends are women. I can quite openly delv into feelings and emotions and can easily kiss a guy on the cheek. I can also shut myself down sexually even when girls strip in front of me. I also like it's raining men and gloria gaynor (I will survive). But I aint gay, curious about the prostate, but not gay. I most certainly like girls, girls, girls! Maybe the new evolving male with be a sort of hydrid, just a thought.

Just an update - see what you think. I bumped into the girl on saturday nite. I got the courage and told her how I felt and that I wanted to be with her. I said if she ever became single if she wasnt already, i would take her up like a shot. I mentioned that I may take up on the other offers of dates in the meantime. I also mentioned I wrote her a letter, and she said she really wanted to read it. She also told me she thinks I am very good looking. I didnt get a rejection but I could see that she was thinking, she said she gets confused, and that things are not working with or fella or whatever he is. Later that nite, she told me that her sister thinks im really nice (an approval?). She also texted me when she got home. i can confirmed that she does not kiss any other guy on the lips. I watched every guy (even friends) she greeted and how she interacted, and it was only me who got the peck on the lips. I know I got alot of attention that night, and she did tell a friend of mine that she thinks I'm a bit of a tart!. She said she would ring me the next day (sunday )but I havent heard from her since Sat and I dont know is this is a bad or good thing?

sounds good to me. I will give her this letter. Just hope her fella dont find it. I like my eyes as they are

Hey thanks for that advice. Ok so I have already written a letter. Do you not think this is full on? I mean Ive written about in-depth feelings etc? I will remove the bit at the end about asking her to make some decision and leave it open ended.

Aw thats nice Rozi, and its great you care that I dont get hurt. Yes I agree. I am usually a master of my thinking but then everything gets complicated by emotions or a girl tells me how she feels about me even if they have a fella - Why? I know what you are saying is right Rozi which is why I am now at crunch time. The way I was dealing with it was by writing a sort computerised diary. It is now 7 pages of typed text. Ive written it as if I was telling her how I feel etc so there is less in my head. OK, I have tried to fob her off about meeting her out this saturday by saying I dont think I will be in the area. She said she will call anyway. You know what, i really dont get why this happens to me. I was actually meant to go on a date last nite with a single girl who really likes me. However, one of my girl mates would not give me that girls number (as they are friends). I did have her number to begin with but I lost it. The reason she didnt give me the number was because she got jealous (even tho she has a fella as well!). She got drunk and confessed her love for me! All I ever am with a girl is a friend at the moment but this makes them behave differently when I dont hit on them. I mean girls will go as far as to show me their breasts or want to go away with me or even sitting on my lap or well u get the hint but I dont react because most have fellas or just do this to me!!!! I wonder if I have a great big sign on my head which say mess with him - may be god is teasing me! I sometimes think I should be gay because of this, and even gay guys hit on me too although i dont mind the free drinks). Phew!!! - just had my drama queen moment.

Hey everybody. So far this forum has helped me. Some of you may have seen my post about 'when a girl kissess you what does it mean if anything'. This was very helpful. Im now in a position to make a decision but I need some advice. In summary, I like this girl and she has given me (i feel) hints that she likes me( Ive known her for about 6 months). The hints, I feel, includes kissing me on the lips several times, hanging with me, telling her thoughts and feelings about me, inviting me out, calling me from work and home on a regular basis. She has given me her home number now. We do end up in really late night chats. The thing is whilst I can shut myself down sexually, I really do like her. The catch is she has sort of a fella. I know she is getting the fringe benefits from me that she should be getting from a loving partner. The strange thing is, ive never known him to ring or ever show up or anything! She has been with him for over a year. So the questions are 1) Do I tell her not to kiss me on the lips? 2) Do I stop hanging with her? 3) Do I start to ignore her calls? 4) Do I stop taking her out for meals and drinks? 5) Do I lay it on the line how I feel and how she isn't available to me, so sionara look me up one day etc 6) Is our behaviour friends or is it getting confused into something else? I am afraid to lay it on the line knowing what we have (whatever that is) may become weird or lost. Any views?

It is ok to have expectations when you meet a girl and emotions and feelings navigate us. The thing is to have realistic expections or to just role with it. Best bet is not to expect anything and if something happens then great

I think a girl with curves is elegant and sexy. I think this does come down to being happy within yourself, and making the most of what god gave you. Dont forget, we all distort our appearance in the mirror! Dont be hard on yourself, I'm sure you are fine.

Its is ok to be confused, which is why you need a time out before it really becomes a bigger mess than it already is. Understand that you cant see the 'wood through the trees' at the moment. Creating some space away will allow for distance, it is then that the confusion will subside. Eventually you should be able to make a non-emotional (although we are human) decision in the best interests of all concerned. However, there are going to be casualties in your case. In hind-sight, it was better you had a time out before the 'cheating', guilt, loneiness, confusion etc.

It's an interesting link. I thought it was a equal union to be in a relationship. Professor Winston did a documentary about relationships etc. He found that women tend to choose a mate based on long term factors. One experiment Prof. Winston did was to see how many females would openly sleep with a guy when asked. 5 out of 5 females said no to a one night stand. When a girl asked 5 guys for a one night stand 5 out of 5 guys said yes. The reason being girls always choose a mate who had long term and commited characteristics. This is because of our primitive instincts. Prof Winston also found that women were instinctly more likely to cheat when ovulating . Also, we instinctly go for partners with a strong immune system - we naturally pick up certain scent. Finally, females seem to judge a guy on physical appeareance as to assess who would produce the best or strongest/healthy offspring.

Well I used to be 'B' but now its an 'A'. Its much better to think outside the box. I also got tired of Indian girls/parents having such high expections from me! There's that saying 'love see no colour', and remember "I can be I, you can be you, together we can be us" irrespective of race.

WOW - You'd da man!!! Respect I like that speech !!!!! Ive noted it all down!

well people, I went out with this girl last nite it was cool. I didnt share my feelings or anything. She admitted she likes flirting. She still did the kiss on the lips thing and gave me compliments but I didnt read into it. I took her out for a nice meal at a random restaurant. she told me that she has good thoughts of the times we hang out. I ended the night and took her home early than she wanted. I think its one of those friend zone things with the fringe benefits. I do know she is questioning her relationship with her 'sort of guy' but that really is up to her to decide, and I will be there as a friend. Thanks to you people, I have worked through and stopped looking for a hidden meaning when sometimes they isnt one. Ive been acting independent and aloof, and suddenly I feel more in control.

I thought things were getting fired up above! Well I am mature for my age, and I have had too many experiences. I think age aint number but a number but I agree there is a 'common' sense limit. My cut off is about 22 years. I do not go for anyone younger than that. But I think maturity matters. My question was a gerneral question to get views.

agreed, i taken it at face value thanks to you people Funny tho, it has made it easier to deal with things. Im less caught up in my thinking about this girl. Im back to best gay friend mode (although I aint gay)

ok cool, Sheyda thats a good point that ' you didn't choose to date him because of his age, though; youchose to date him because I liked him'. I like that, I will chill out and be less paranoid.

Cool. I suppose since we are being open, I have been called too old sometimes but this could be true but also and a dig by girls who I dont date. I will chill out abit more. I also agree, that being friends and everything is important first. Its all so complicated. So why do girls date older men ?

Well I tend to avoid the ones who want a father trait boyfriend. However, i also attract females who like my wisdom and knowledge but again they range from 19 upwards. I dated a 35 lawyer who liked the fact I was knowledgeable, seemed content, and was in touch with my feminine side. I dont ask females age because more often then not, they will tell me quite early on or I will work it out by what they do, if they have done a degree, from friends, looks etc. 95% they tell me outright then ask me mine. So its not a bad thing if they ask me my age? I am 30.

Can i ask you sparkle, why do alot of females ask me my age after engaging in conversations with different women? I enjoy talking but I most oftenly get a random 'how old are you'? I have been told that the attraction of females with me is the caring father traits. They feel safe then become emotional, like the reassurance they are ok, and confide in me, and then they wanna date me. By then, I dont know whether this is a good thing.

Hey, I am curious but does it matter about age? For example, some of my friends are 30+ but meet females ranging from 22 upwards. When I dated a female she was 18 when I was 24. Does age really matter because I am a bit older now and just come out of a long term relationship, and suddenly its hit me that I aint in my early 20's anymore. I get interest from females ranging from 19 upwards. I have a few girls who like me but are in the age of 22 to 26, but I dont know whether this is a good thing? What is your views

hey without diverting from sam completely, its funny you should say that about being kissed on the lips because I started a link as I was very confused about when a girl kissess you on the lips what does it mean if anything?