KaEdYnZMoMmi

I can't lie EVERYONE (my parents, siblings, our friends, and other people who have been around us) have all said that we are basically a couple without the title. It isn't that I don't love being around his kids or even care about them. All 3 of them have become a significant part of my life. We actually started talkin about moving in together last night.

Me and my 'friend' were talking in June and got intimate oct 15th and he met the whole family on thanksgiving at my grandmas....

Okay, for those of you who may have remembered my situation...Here is an update: My FWB and I got into an argument on Feb 3rd, and had NO CONTACT until the 19th. We got into an argument because one night while he was out with his friends and I was out with mine we had gone to the same bar and he had noticed a male trying to "talk" to me. Me and the other guy walked out at the same time but I swear it was coincidental. I would never mess around with someone else, my FWB means too much to me. (we have a unwritten contract stating that we cant have intercourse with ANYONE else). Anyways- Okay well while we were arguing the 3rd we said some pretty upsetting things to one another and cut off all ties. Well on Monday the 19th me, him and his 3 year old son went to lunch. His son said that he missed me and gave me a picture he drew for me...HOW SWEET! So we went to lunch and I was laughing and smiling I missed them. Then as our food arrived he said " I see you got your nails done, and your hair cut and colored...you look real good, who you trying to impress?" I said "nobody"...and he said you look really good and very happy I was going to say we should work things out and get back together...and I said oh yeah? And he said yeah, but I dont wanna ruin your happiness...I would LOVE to be with him. I love him- it is no secret...but I didn't tell him that. He has been joking around alot telling me that he loves me. Do you think he could mean it? Or do you think he is just tryin to cut the tension??

We did infact hang out last night after I got off of work. We (him, his sons, my daughters and myself) all went to dinner last night. We laughed and joked...we were back to our normal selves... I jokingly asked him if he had missed me and he said maybe, maybe not...and then at the end of the night before we parted our separate ways he told me that had a wonderful evening...and liked seeing me!!! and we set our Valentines days plans in STONE!!

I didn't want to devote all my time and energy to him and make him thing that I was thinking there was something more than their really was. Does that make sense? So, I mentioned other men because #1 they were interested, #2 him and i were just FWB and #3 to kind of test his true feelings. He would respond with "Do whatever makes you happy"...but when we got into an argument the first thing out of his mouth was "EVERYTHING WAS FINE UNTIL YOU DECIDED to hang out with other guys". And I know that I was never attracted to this other man...and tried to tell him that.

Thank you sooooooo soooooo much. Maybe I just needed to hear that...I think our Valentines Day should be an interesting one!!

Oh I would deff LOVE more, I love being around him, he makes me laugh, we can talk for hours and we share alot of common interests. My kids love him and his love me. We not only do the dinner and movie dates, or the out for drinks dates with or without our friends but we also do the kids dates! My family loves him and his loves me! We both are VERY VERY FLIRTATIOUS. And I know that that sometimes get in the way out "us". I am just afraid that if I mention commitement or something more it will push him aways...but I also dont see it as being fair to me. It isnt like he is stringing me along until something better comes along... he tells me he cares deeply for me, LOVES ME TO DEATH and trust me more than ANYBODY out here. Even his long time buddies. His kids refer to me as daddys girlfriend, and he said I am the closest thing to a gf since BM.

Well heres the deal, he is 28 and was in a previous LTR with his childrens mother but she had cheated on him last year. They were engaged the whole 9 yards...and I was in a previous LTR (im 26) with my childrens father but he was controlling, and dishonest as well. So when him and I met we started talked occasionally on the phone then it went from talking frequently on the phone and also sending text messages. Finally we hung out with one anothers children, we also spent Thanksgiving, Christmas and kids birthdays together. We decided off top to have a verbal contract stating that we would NOT have sexual intercourse with ANYONE else and if we did then we would infact stop our "situation". And as far as the jealousy thing, I was totally cool with him hanging out with other women, what I didnt like was that he would get upset if and when I would hang out with the opposite sex! So I dont think it is fair if he hangs out with girls but i cant hang out with guys.... does that clarify things?? AND YESSSS I KNOW that when you are involved with a situation like mine...FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS no feelings or emotions are supposed to be involved...where did we go wrong??

I have been involved in a FRIENDS WITH BENEFIT situation that started just as friends in June 06 and turned into Fw/B in October 06. Well anyways we had a falling out about me hanging out with other guys and so he dicided that he would get back at me by infact hanging out with another female on this past Friday. I was FURIOUS but I didnt let him know that. He told me about the date on Tuesday and Wednesday we did NOT contact one another at all, and on Thursday again NO CONTACT until ofcourse 3 am after he had been at the bar with his friends. He send me a text message ,lyrics from a song, talking about wanting to "work things out". He told me her heard the song and thought about me. Sweet??? Well he called me Friday when I got off of work (3:30 pm) and now I am usually one to answer it or call him back ASAP. But this time I didnt, I purposely called him back at 5 pm trying to be nosy about his "date" had he left yet if he was getting ready. And I told him that I wanted to drop off his sons sleeping bag and asked if I could do so on my way out. He said sure and that he would be home all evening with the kids...AHA! He said that he wasnt going to be going on the date and that he would be home all night and to stop by at my convience...That was the last time we talked . HIS CELLPHONE is disconnected. I miss him soooo much. What should I do?

LoL this is the FIRST & LAST friends with benefits relationship I will ever become involved in. But you are soooo right. Friends with benefist is SUPPOSED to be sex no love emotions or feelings. But I see both him AND I have fallen into a undeclared 'commitment'

I understand that, but at the sametime I don't see him being unfaithful except for that one incident in the beginning. We 'vowed' to not have other friends with benefits. We have both hung out with people of the opposite sex and that is where the jealousy stems from. I care and he knows I do, he cares but hides the fact that he cares and it comes out during an argument.

Oh yeah, there was one incident where we had plans to go to dinner and a movie but he canceled because he wanted to do poker night with the guys. I am not one to be controlling so I went along with the idea and went out with some girlfriends...Well I come to find out him and his guys went to the bar and ran into some females they met on MYSPACE and all hung out. I was FURIOUS told him to NEVER EVER call me EVER again told him I was hurt because I felt like he cancelled plans to be with her. He insisted that it was not like that at all. OF COURSE im a dummy I believed him!! I forgave him and now because I hung out with an old friend he was introduced to he wants to get mad...I dont get it?!?

Okay so I posted a thread discussin my current "relationship situation". I have been um, involved with a FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS situation for about 8 months. Here is the thing our children are involved and to me it is a full on relationship minus the title. We go to dinner with one another he is associated with my friends and family as I am with his. We have spent major holidays together. There is nothing I wouldnt do for this man and nothing he wouldnt do for me. Whats the problem you ask? Well, we don't mess with anyone else sexually and have a very good relationship as far as communication. He has told me he cares about me, and trusts me. Great right? The downside? He has been cheated on before with his childrens mom and has since decided (it happened a year ago) that he wanted to take a break from a commited relationship . I too was in a bad relationship where the man was controlling so I ended that quick. So we decided on the whole friends w/benefits thing. But I think we both may see it as more. We both get jealous when other people try to approach one of us. I sometimes get a little too jealous and it results in ugly arguments. His way of dealing with his jealousy is he acts like he doesnt care and then makes lil slick comments about 'my boyfriend'. I can't lie I have tested his feelings by mentioning other guys in hopes that he would realize that I do have other options and maybe it would make him want to commit. The biggest issue right now is I had been out with some girlfriends for one of their birthdays this past saturday and ended up at the same bar him and his friends were at. His friends approached us ladies bought us a drink and then went back to what they were doing. I soon left the bar and just so happened to walk out the same time an old male friend did. This male friend also bought me a drink/shot while I was in the bar and my Fw/B seen this and it made him furious! He called me and called me we argued and he came over...spent the night. I would have gotten upset too, but instead of discussing the situation he decided to get back at me by going on a date tonight with some other girl. It is killing me the thought of him with someone else!? But I tried to get a back bone and act as though I don't care. I had NO CONTACT with him for a few days and he texted messaged me at 3 am saying that he wanted to "WORK IT OUT". My thing is my jealousy has pushed him away before and now KNOWING he is going to dinner with another female this evening is KILLING ME! And I know if I accept his offer to WORK IT OUT, chances are I will start an argument regarding this date... DUMP THE LOSER? OR TRY FOR ROUND 2?? GUYS POINT OF VIEW ON FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS PLEASE?!?!?!?!?!?

Dont do it!!!

At the risk of sounding superficial...he is gorgeous. I had a crush on him starting back in high school (1996). He was my classmates older brother he is 28 and I am 26.

I wouldnt say I dated other people but against my will I have gone out with other people strictly as friends. Explored my options so to speak, for my own sake of mind and to show him that I do infact have other people interseted. He said whatever I do is up to me...but he became upset soon after. And that is when he mentioned this 'date' tonight and told me I hurt him by spending time with someone else. And since I ignored his called and stopped calling him for 2 days now he is saying that he wants to "work things out".

I think that you are right. If we don't have that label then we don't have to run the risk of being HURT. I mean we act like a couple without the label, he has come to family gatherings and come to my friends sons birthday party...I would LOVE to be in a relationship with him. But I am afraid to push for something if it is not what he wants.

If you plan on having this baby I think if would be in your and your unborn childs best interest to leave this CASANOVA. I to was in a similar situation about 4 years ago. I was in love with a man who was loving everyone else. And one night while I was 6 months pregnant and caught my man (ex) with another woman and got upset and kicked him out. All the stress had caused me to go into labor @ 26 months. My baby was healthy fortunalty but she could have died. And when we discuss the situation his excuse was "You were pregnant you should have stayed at home and this would not have happened". Needless to say I am no longer with him and raising our 3 year old all alone. We are happy and healthy!

I think you are right, but I have so much fun with him. The jealousy is what gets in the way. He gets jealous when other guys try to approach me and I get jealous when other girls approach him. We have both been cheated on...and I know that is not a valid excuses. Buttt, that is where most of our problems stem from. When we are together we laugh and can talk about anything and everything and our kids love one another.

Okay so here is my situation, I met this guy, he was in a previous long term relationship with this woman whom he had 2 beautiful sons with. Well that relationship ended when his ex girlfriend cheated on him. And I was in a previous relationship with the father of my 2 children but that ended because he was controlling. Anyways I had run into a high schools friend older brother while I was out and we exchanged numbers and started talking. Late night phone converstaions turned into dinners, drinks and occasionally dinners with all 4 children. We also became intimate. We decided to be "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS". We even had a 'contract', we wouldnt sleep with other people and once one of us did the benefits were terminated. We spent Holidays together (Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years). Recently while him and I were at dinner I had run into an old male friend and his girlfriend and congratulated them on their new baby. The old male friend called me 2 days later to invite me to dinner to catch up on old things. And we hung out- strictly as friends and I let my Fw/B know this. He acted like he didn't care. A male friend from work invited me out for Happy Hour, I accepted the offer after first consulting my Fw/B. He said "I don't care that is up to you". My Fw/B would throw it in my face saying things like "Oh are you going out with your boyfriend from work tonight", and I would get upset and say that it wasnt like that at all. Well last Saturday I had gone out with some of my girlfriends for one of their birthdays and he was out with some of his male friends. We ended up at the same bar and he had seen guys coming up and talking to me buying me drinks. He was upset we left shortly after and coincidentally as I was leaving so was one of the guys who bought me a drink. My Fw/B assumed we left together and called me all upset yelling at me. I had gone home, and about 45 minutes later my Fw/B came over and everything seemed fine. But he went through my phone and called numbers back that he didn't recognize. We ended up fighting about this. And he has since told me (on Tuesday) that he has a date tonight. So I expressed that I was upset and that I was hurt by this and his thing was "You do it so why cant I". I told him that I was not ever attracted to those guys I hung out with them strictly as friends and I even asked him about his feelings first. I tried to reason with him and let him know that I was sorry but that I hadn't done anything. He told me flat out that he was through with me and tired of everything. Where we are from isnt a big city so he textd me and said if I was out with my 'b/f' not to come to this specific bar because he was there. We didn't talk until 3 am this morning he text messaged me (after he was drinking) and copied lyrics of a song to me. "I said im really tryin to work this out cuz tired of fightin, I said im tryin to work this out damn girl im tryin...its no excuse..." (Ice Box-Omarion). So I texted him back and with a ? and he said Nevermind...and I said Oh did you send that to the wrong person? And he said No that was for you, I heard the song and thought of you...and we texted back and forth a few times joking around and things seemed ok. But I dont know if it was because he was under the influence or because he really meant he wants to work it out. I cant lie, I have let him know on numerous occasions that I care about him and his children...I would never do anything to jeopardize our situation. Am I the idiot for accepting our terms and conditions? Or do we both want the same thing but we are just afraid of the commitment? What should I do? Based on everything does he care bout me more than he is letting on?