I went through something like this a few months ago. At first I couldn't eat, sleep, work or do anything but think of her. It was brutal. What made it worse was that she hooked up with anther guy and was doing GREAT. You can't imagine the pain of knowing they were sleeping together.
For what its worth, here's my advice:
- you will survive; and if you play your cards right, you will be stronger
- Getting over it is a natural process – that begins once you let go. You've got to let go. Resolve that you won't get back with her, and accept that it wasn't meant to be. Take control. This is really hard to do.
- For the first few weeks, I did whatever I could to meet other girls and date. I met a few, but none were good enough to replace the ex. The bad ones made me miss my ex even more. However, I did make some friends during that time that I still have today. My advice is to get out there and meet some girls, but have no expectations. Keep things light.
- Suffering can be good. Embrace it. Kids suffer through homework and it has a positive quality. You can use this as an opportunity to get stronger
- write out a list of non-negotiable qualities that you're looking for in a potential partner. Let's put it this way - 2 years from now, you don't want to be going through this again w/ someone else! Perhaps there was something about her that was high risk for this breakup to happen
- go to the library and get some books. You need a mental distraction from thoughts of her. Read self-improvement books, war history or whatever. Just get a distraction
- start writing a journal
- write out a list of general reasons why she isn't the one for you based on personality, character, behaviour etc. Add to this list whenever you think of something. Currently mine totals more than 100 points. Can you imagine? Reading through the list helps. Reason number one could be that she dumped you.
- forget the horoscope stuff. If anything pray or read the bible (e.g. psalms or job for example).
- realize that even though her life might be better than yours now, later and perhaps always, it doesn't matter. Focus on you. Focus on your life. Though its nice to think that what comes around goes around. And if she treated you badly, it will catch up to her. The important thing is for you not to treat her, or anyone else badly.
- Take the time to work through these issues and regain some confidence
- Make a point of doing a few nice things for yourself in the meantime
- be friendly to everyone. Cashiers, waitresses etc.
- do 2 or 3 things per day that you're looking forward to.
- Don't talk badly about your ex