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Johnathan

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Everything posted by Johnathan

  1. back on day 1 with the girl I was recently datng. i have an awful knack for finding the ones who just want to be independent....but make me believe otherwise for a few months before they decide to throw it in reverse out of nowhere. for the 1st time ever yesterday, i actually took the initiative and told her not to contact me. I said to her that we should exit each others lives for now. And that I am done being friendzoned by someone I want a relationsihp with. That kind of treatment is all I've ever gotten my whole life and i'm not going to put myself thru that misery again. everyone, just stop wasting your time on someone who doesnt want you as much as you want them.
  2. LOL I'm going through the same thing almost.. I'm day 1 of NC for this girl who just got done playing me. If I can go NC for 8 months with my ex, I can definitely start ignoring this one.
  3. so I'm on day 228 or something. Almost 8 months. She hasn't tried to contact me once. She probably still hates my guts like the poor misdirected c u n t that she is. I still think about her every single day, and I still get sad that it ended on such a bad note. After throwing me under the bus, she bought a house with her fiance and they are literally 'living happily ever after.' This is the guy who she cheated on about 10 times and he took her back after every single time. And in response to her cheating on him, he proposes to her. I thought that in the real world, it's not possible for a relationship like that to flourish... well these two nutjobs are proving the real world wrong. I feel alot of animosity towards her now. The pain I felt for the first 5 months has died down, but its been replaced by a bitter hatred of her and what she did to me. And I know she feels the same towards me. Sure I haven't talked to her, but I truly sense that 8 months has done NOTHING to cause our animosity to dwindle. I can sense that she still to this day hates me just as much as I hate her. She can rot in hell for all I care. And if I ever see this guy in person I will be MORE than happy to go to jail for remodeling his jaw.
  4. your best bet is to be a cocky shallow douchebag with alot of money. apparently being an ***hole is the key to happiness.
  5. I think its easier to be the girl in that situation...
  6. Day 39 I think. Every day I'm still reminded of how unfair this is
  7. still depressed...it's really not getting better at all.
  8. weakness, codependency, and infatuation. The girl who is currently turning me down has cheated on her doormat BF with 3 guys now (i'm the 3rd guy) and he won't leave her and she won't leave him. It's ****ing bull****.
  9. Made it to day 14. Yesterday afternoon I get a knock on my door. It was her. I couldn't believe it. First she was angry and we argued about the recent events that transpired. But we kept talking, and it turned into a 90 minute long heart to heart that ended with a long hug. She really doesn't want me out of her life...as I knew all along. She actually finally admitted that she can see why I did what I did. And I told her I did it for both selfish and unselfish reasons. But the NC, or probably very LC, will resume now between us. Her relationship with the other guy is on the rocks though they're still living together. It would take too long to explain the details of all of this, but as for where it stands...it's in God's hands now Back to Day 1 today.
  10. Doing alittle better today. Still miss her like crazy and am constantly wondering if she's still royally PO'd at me or if she misses me, or is wondering all the same things. Probably both. Doesn't really matter though as I'm sure I'm just an afterthought to her while she's going thru the breakup of her 7 year relationship with the guy she thought she was going to marry. I'm starting to be very glad I told him she cheated on him and the regret is disappearing. I knew once I got over the initial shock and pain of telling him that I'd know it was a good decision. You should talk more about that book. I'm sorta half skeptical, half encouraged by books like that.
  11. I'm still horribly depressed sometimes when I think about her, and just like always, I can't seem to get her out of my head to save my life. Its so sad it has to be like this now. I'm actually not dwelling on her and I feel fine the majority of the time, but I still have these mood swings and bouts of depression. I miss her so much.
  12. I'm starting to feel anxiety attacking me ...because every new day of NC confirms that all this crap really did happen, and it makes the nightmare more 'real', the consequences more visible. Its not getting easier. The heartache has let up, but the sadness hasn't. I pray everyday that this will turn out good for her in the end.
  13. The hard thing for me is knowing that the girl I'm on day 7 of NC with is going thru this exact same thing as well.... but not with me....With her BF of 7 years who is leaving her because of me. So even though she and I shared an awesome relationship for awhile, and even though I miss her exactly the way you just described, she's feeling the same way too...for him, not me. It's like a messed up chain. I was never her #1. But I just made her #1 walk out of her life, so now she walked out of mine and 'hates' me. It sucks. In time, I hope this NC will help her to love herself and then love me.
  14. Day 6. She's still on my mind constantly, but the heartache has thankfully let up some. I wonder constantly what she's going through, and worry that she regrets ever meeting me because she has now lost her boyfriend thanks to me. It will be awhile before I ever talk to her again. Until she stops feeling the pain of losing him, I don't think she'll have any desire to contact me, and you don't just get over a 7 year relationship overnight
  15. Count me in. My first day 1 is today, 7-10-08. I'm an emotional wreck
  16. Look at it like this. I went out with a girl I should've never been involved with. Very emotionally unstable and living off of welfare and child support. I was desperate to lose my virginity at 23 so I got involved with her. I had sex with her twice, both times wore a condom and pulled out before ejaculating. No rips in the condoms (I inspected it both times). In March she told me she was pregnant with my kid. She's pro life. For the last 8 months I've been in denial that it's really mine, knowing that she has a history of promiscuity. A DNA test was in the works. But Ive recently accepted that it is most likely mine--shes perfectly willing to have the test done. She refuses to adopt (big ego and too much pride) and is about to go after me for child support after he's born. I'm having a paternity test done though I think I know what the results will be. I will be in a world of hurt for the next 18 years and my entire life is about to change starting in the next few weeks. For 18 years I also have to accept that a borderline psycho living off the government is permanently part of my life, the last girl on the planet Id want to have a kid with. On top of this, I still have to find the courage to tell my family. I have to tell my mom that she's a grandma of a child whose mother is like this, the type of girl my mom would never, ever, ever want me getting involved with...a girl who just the thought of being around her makes me cringe. I know how my mom is and I will have to be there for this child whether I like it or not. I have to see this horrible girl on a regular basis whether I like it or not. So look on the bright side. Your life isn't ruined like mine is. You still have a chance to not go down this path. You can still get the morning after pill. I made the mistake of assuming I was okay because I pulled out and the condoms didnt tear. You have it good, my friend, I'd give anything to be in your spot right now.
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