b-ion

When an attractive girl in my class starting staring at me i was uncertain of what i had to offer. But as the term grew by she just kept on starrring at me and i didn't know exactly what to do. Since she seemed a lot more confident than me and really knew many people in class i kind of figured that it was nothing. For a shy guy, in their head they think its everything. Because of a fear of rejection, fear of being in a relationship because frankly i haven't really been in one, i kind of stopped looking at her. Besides it was really hard for me to talk to her, even if i got enough courage to do so. I always seemed to get flustered and i knew i was blushing. What made it more difficult was the because she was always with her friends. She sat beside them and she hung around them afterwards.

I guess the moment i became alone was when i refused to be ridiculed by my friends, peers and even my own family. At home its pretty difficult b/c my brother, dad, and i don't have a good relationship with each other. My dad used to always yell at me when i was a kid and still does to this day and my brother and i always fought till the point where we dont even acknowledge or talk to each other anymore. At school when i was in elementary school i used to have a good core of friends until their friends didn't accept me and teased me. Even new friends would always make fun of me till the point where i told all of them off and kept to myself. I'm a pretty well mannered person and i take a lot of crap from someone before i just explode and curse like crazy. I guess now its really difficult for me to let people into my life. Sometimes when they're joking around with me it's not so much a joke to me b/c deep down the pain still hurts.

I have to say that i'm kind of in the same boat. The negative thoughts creep in and just take over. I used to be this happy go lucky quirky nice guy but now nothing really matters anymore. For me being shy is really something thats is part of me and that i cant get over or cant get past. For many years i thought i had a lot of confidence, in high school i thought i was one of the better looking guys but just thought that the more popular ones could talk more than i could. I find it really hard to believe that most of my friends got girls and that its taken this long for me to find one. But now a days i find that girls like guys who can have long lasting conversations and that looks are not as important as they once were. In my case this is a big problem. I dont talk very much even with my closest buddies. At some points when i'm talking i dont know half of the words that are coming out of my mouth because i dont know what i'm saying. Its even worse when i get nervous because its easy for me to turn red and to stutter. So what i've done is cut eye contact with people and concentrate on the friends that i already have. But its kind of hard to be around them when they've got dates and easy to be alone and forgotten about.

If the guy u like is anything like me than i'm pretty sure he likes you. Its hard for me to really express my feelings to a girl let alone talk to her. In my case its even hard to make eye contact and its easy to ignore the person you like and put your head down. Like me guys can be pretty weird so maybe you should makethe first move and ask him out, it might be worth a try.

it's kind of funny that you brought up this whole locking eyes thread b/c there has been this one girl who keeps locking eyes with me yet i don't have the courage to say anything to her. But from my observations i can tell she's really outgoing and likes to talk to her friends in the class. The thing is i dont know if she likes me b/c when she's looking at me she doesn't really smile or anything, she'll just stare, like i'm staring at her. Me and her also have the same lab together and it's even more noticeable b/c i sit like to the left of her facing her backside but when the teacher speaks she has to turn around and look at the teacher but i find that she's looking at me too. It's kind of hard to talk to her there too b/c i'm shy and she's usually around a couple of friends in the lab. The problem is that she hasn't come up to talk to me neither. I wonder if she's playin around or if she is attracted to me?

I have been and are still in the shoes that you guys are in. I always blamed myself for not having a gf and seen that my friends had found special relationships in the girls that they've found. I never really went out or went clubbin or that sort of thing. Never really looked at people in the eye and when i talked to them i would always look down. Never really looked in the mirror at school b/c i was always afraid of what others saw in me. Being lonely really made me depressed and it showed through my grades, they were the lowest they've ever been. I always questioned my life here on earth and felt hopeless, thoughts of suicide became remmanant in my mind. There were times as well where my mom and uncle have called me gay b/c of my lack or should i say no friends who are girls. But one day that depression inside me changed for the better when i confessed to my mom that i was having trouble with everything - coping with school and with life, she set me up with an appointment with a pastor and things started from there. Overall he helped me with getting over the things in the past and helped me with my depression. But 1 sentence that he told me really hit home. If you dont' love yourself, how can anyone love you? I realized that in that instance i had to change not only for myself but for my family. The pastor set me up with a social group where now i find it easier for me to talk to people because they were so accepting in letting me apart of their lives. I also found my spirituality with god has increased and that everything happens for a reason and i have to keep working hard and setting goals. Although i still don't have a gf, that does not bother me as much as it used to. I've realized that there are more important issues in the world like poverty and that i should be grateful for the things that i have. Trying to be an optomist is hard since i've alway thought negatively but now when i go to school i've noticed that strangers are noticing me too.

This is so true. I have the same problem, now that i'm older i have gotten more shy. However there was this one girl that kept looking at me and i think even bumped into me on purpose and yeah i was attracted to her until i found out she had a boyfriend. My confidence did rise seeing that she was the only girl that actually made eye contact with me for an extended amount of time which for that reason made me like her even more, and of the fact that she was very pretty. And from my point of view talking to any girls doesn't really make much of a difference in boosting conversations. I suggest you ask advice from your sister if you have one, unfortuantely i dont but if you have a girl cousin, i always ask advice from her and she has given me some confidence in how to talk to girls around school or strangers.

exactly And it seems when i'm drunk i can carry on a conversation longer and won't care about what's coming out of my mouth and what the other person thinks of me

I'm happy that you hang on and stood your ground seekinghappyness. For you to be waiting half hour probably gave him the impression that you really wanted to be with him. That was great courage on your part, i know that he's thankful for everything you've done. As time goes by you'll find everything that your looking for, time will bring you to closer. Shysoul good debating on your part, your advice was really great. I know that being shy is a struggle but i'd rather be hated for being me than liked for being someone else.

the best advice to you is to be really patient with him. When you first mentioned what kind of person he was i thought you were referring to me. I've had my share of panic attacks and blushing in my day. I'm fairly old and know how it feels but it's probably gonna take some self confidence on his part and help from a psychiotrist or something else. To be truthful, you being there is probably the best thing to happen to him. He just doesn't know how to adjust to it because it seems so different. I'd suggest to you that you should spend some time with him in a remote location with fairly no people around and talk to him that way.