SophMd

I agree... I really hate to say this...but it makes me regret 3 years that I spent with him. I just want to get over him more than anything in the world right now... And its so hard because I see him at my job/see his friends around town...just connections to him keep popping back into my life. Part of me just wants to start anew and leave town...But I am not going to let someone dictate what I do in my life. Uggh...

So, pretty much you think that entitles him to put others down? even family members? okay- well if thats the case then I hope there are more people with that mentality to get by in life. And, no...I would most definitely NOT treat any person like that...especially someone who loved me whole-heartedly. I understand what you are saying...but I guess I just believe in being real and above all superficial things... Its also the way he talks about things...ie :sticking his thumb up a strippers butt...hmm...thats nasty and he sounds like a dirtball. I dont know...you feel the way you do about the situation and I feel the way I do...I just need to cut my losses I suppose. Thanks for the input!

First off.... you say that he is allowed to act that way since he lost 100 pounds...but guess what? I was a bit chunky in high school and when I lost the weight all the attention I got from other people just assured me how superficial people can be. Thats not the point tho...the point is...he is acting like he is superior to all other people...ie: his AMAZING dance skills...the fact that women were all over him etc...woopdeedoo...i loved him regardless of weight...i loved him for his heart and soul. THIS is why I have no respect for him whatsoever, he needs to be a little more humble about himself...I can understand if you have confidence in yourself...cool...why would you have to tell the whole world your business...get over yourself. I dont like this new person, you may think it gives him the right to do whatever he wants...it doesnt... you need respect for other people...he has no respect for me. that is the bottom line.

Annie- I agree with that. Its ridiculous...I saw him tonight with my whole entire family, we played basketball at the gym i belong to...and he was there....then i get home and he tries to contact me over the internet saying "did your brother block me....tell him to give me an IM sometime...unless he hates me of course...peace" I just ignored it because I think he is ridiculous after reading what he put earlier...then from my lack of response he puts up his away message ...... wanna put my tender, heart in a blender wanna cut my penis off... rendezvous now im through with you 25 years old...so mature, good looking, funny, great dancer, lives with his rents... he is the cream of the crop alright!

awww...That pretty much cheered me up! I know the thing about the stripper in the butt....classy! In all honesty, I do feel sorry for him...like for one...sex (not so good on his end) that didnt matter tho, because I loved the kid. I am just so mad because he is afraid to just be the sensitive and loving person I fell in love with. I have no clue what the hell he is...I guess he wants to be bill cosby with his affinity for coogi sweaters Bottomline, I got burned by a fatty who lost weight. sucks, b.c i was so good to him, have a good heart, and i am easy on the eyes. The weird thing is that he is obviously not the don juan he thinks he is...because he only had sex with one person (me), he lives with his parents, and doesnt really have the best hygeine. I really dont know who could tolerate that? I loved him because he was such a beautiful person on the inside. I just dont see the point of him bragging "online" when he could actually do something about it and be the pimp he wants to be. I know for a fact he has not had sex with any other girls...I dunno...why cant he just be a nice person again? I hate the fact that I loved this person...any thoughts?

why does he act so nice when he talks to me...he said that he cried when he saw me and this was 2 days ago...i dont understand this person at all. it is one big show. How do I move on from this and never look back. he also works out where i work, and i see him all the time. why is he trying to be a player ?

I feel so sick to my stomach right now. My ex boyfriend is not the person I fell in love with and It makes me regret so many things I shared with him. He is 25 years old and lost 100 pounds...I guess he is enjoying his transformation...but I cant go on thinking he is still the one for me b.c I read something truly disturbing on this website he posts on.... Tell me what you think...I dont know how a person could change so much...it makes me so sad... here is his post... he is talking about his holiday party .here's a little summary: we got off work early got to the party(havana club) and i started downing brews b/c it was so weak(no one even close to having fun...). Realizing I came to get my life.. I began drinking more brews and thus I started feeling it. Errrrbody was getting a little tipsy at this point... but there was still a huge problem- the dance floor was empty. Naturally, I did what any attention * * * * * would do and went out to the dance floor and broke down a 5 minute solo jam. Pretty much the entire club(aka my entire company) was watching and clapping a rhythm of encouragement to my masterpiece of art in action... I guess theres something about dancing in a coogi sweater that gets juices flowing b/c after my solo jam(song change) this woman from a diff department came out and started to try to match me on the dance floor(what was she thinking... im so undefeated in every dance-off ive ever been in). Truth be told she held her own(including some intense grind action) and then before you know it... the whole dance floor was filled with hotties trying to get correct. Its funny because I clearly had the best moves out there and the ladies were surely feelin it... it also coudl be b/c my only competition were some brokers/busters who had no rhythm(but 10x more CREAM than me..). When I finally got off the dance floor, everyone there was giving me props/high 5's for setting the party off. Fast-forward 10beers and a few shots(and many grinds with hot women) and Im wasted, outside my parking garage walking by the strip clubs on the block... I get coaxed to go inside by the doorman to this crappy little club. I get inside and its like 4 nasty strippers and no one else. I was inside for all of about 8 seconds and this stripper came over to me and asked me what I wanted to do(hmmmm). At this point I promptly turned around and was like, "shorty, this is too much for me right now" and got the F out of there. In hind sight i probably should have dropped a $20 and stuck my thumb up her butt... but like Jigga said, "you gotta learn to live with regrets".. At this point I got in my car and drove to my boys house where we got down with the spicestick and I freestyled some christmas jams til like 4am. Passed out for 2 hours and drove home in time to shower and goto work. Moral(s) of the story: -alot of chicks in my company are into money(dorks) -alot of chicks in my company are into fun times(winners) -the waitresses at the havana club enjoyed showing off their hooters -id say the easiest way to move up the corporate ladder is to be a fun person. I will also see if it helps that your female bosses enjoy dancing with you. -I make holiday christmas parties rule! --------------------------

I know... its like i really thought at the least we could have been friends...he has zero respect for me...i gotta turn the page

It has been about a month and 1/2 since I was dumped... Things like this email make me see my ex's true colors. He is 25 and we were together for 3 years...this is how he talks to me in an email...makes me so upset...he treats 3 years like complete trash. I had invited him to go to a wedding then i changed my mind... but this was his response... yea def would have been awkward as * * * *. good luck with finals...happy hannuk...i mean merry christmas btw: i dont know if you talk to my mom or not but she wants the digital camera back anyways stay black, nah mean? discuss!

So I dont know about you all , but is it normal to be somewhat fixated on looks? For example I think I am a very cool girl who is pretty...so why dont I have guys knocking down my door? I am really competitive and fiesty and I think that is a lot for someone to handle I guess. Is society fixated on looks? I just dont get it...why arent I getting any good guys who arent committment phobs? Oh well...I feel like I need to act a certain way or dress a certain way...and im not about that...a little feedback por favor

I totally get where you are coming from. From my personal experience I felt like that when I felt like I had no control over my situation. You gotta just realize that you arent in control...I know thats scary but you really should start building your faith in the lord. When I didnt have God in my life I was always so confused...questioning myself...what I was meant to do...what would happen to me in the future... I started really putting my faith into God about 2 years ago. Once I put it in his hands...I stopped having anxiety attacks and worrying about things totally out of my control. I truly believe that having faith is necessary...what else is there? Now im not saying all you have to do is pray all day and live in a hole...you gotta go out there and socialize and meet other people who share your interests. 26 is so young...yea you arent married...but you will meet someone if you start putting yourself out there. You gotta just be happy and have some faith. Everything else will fall into place. Another piece of advice is try doing things for other people...Ever since I started helping out others...you stop thinking about yourself and you will live a less selfish life. You will get out of your funk If you wanna talk you can always PM me. Take care

So now after the conversation over the instant messenger last night...I saw him where I work...and he did not even say hello. After all that talk about how it was stupid he does not talk to me...how amazing he thinks I look etc. I felt hurt for the first time since last month.

sorry about the crazy number of repeats...my computer was frozen and i didnt think I actually got the post up.....SORRY

it was a month exactly last night since we broke up....Go figure the ex contacted me. He talked to me over instant messenger...told me how he thinks it is stupid we dont talk (he avoided me) how he thinks I look amazing and then throws in that I am his baby...and if he talked to me on the phone he will be unstable. Needless to say after the conversation those feelings started coming back once again...ugggh. I worked so hard to try and forget this person, so why is it that he keeps popping into my life...i see his friends randomly etc. I know our relationship was unhealthy, and I know that I am a lot more together within myself even in this past month. But, why do i still have love for him and feel like he is my soulmate? I feel like such a sucker right now. What do you all think he meant by contacting me and what do you think is the right thing to do? Do you think it is even possible to be friends? I think it would be quite difficult since i am still sexually attracted to him

it was a month exactly last night since we broke up....Go figure the ex contacted me. He talked to me over instant messenger...told me how he thinks it is stupid we dont talk (he avoided me) how he thinks I look amazing and then throws in that I am his baby...and if he talked to me on the phone he will be unstable. Needless to say after the conversation those feelings started coming back once again...ugggh. I worked so hard to try and forget this person, so why is it that he keeps popping into my life...i see his friends randomly etc. I know our relationship was unhealthy, and I know that I am a lot more together within myself even in this past month. But, why do i still have love for him and feel like he is my soulmate? I feel like such a sucker right now. What do you all think he meant by contacting me and what do you think is the right thing to do? Do you think it is even possible to be friends? I think it would be quite difficult since i am still sexually attracted to him

it was a month exactly last night since we broke up....Go figure the ex contacted me. He talked to me over instant messenger...told me how he thinks it is stupid we dont talk (he avoided me) how he thinks I look amazing and then throws in that I am his baby...and if he talked to me on the phone he will be unstable. Needless to say after the conversation those feelings started coming back once again...ugggh. I worked so hard to try and forget this person, so why is it that he keeps popping into my life...i see his friends randomly etc. I know our relationship was unhealthy, and I know that I am a lot more together within myself even in this past month. But, why do i still have love for him and feel like he is my soulmate? I feel like such a sucker right now. What do you all think he meant by contacting me and what do you think is the right thing to do? Do you think it is even possible to be friends? I think it would be quite difficult since i am still sexually attracted to him

Go figure the ex contacted me. He talked to me over instant messenger...told me how he thinks it is stupid we dont talk (he avoided me) how he thinks I look amazing and then throws in that I am his baby...and if he talked to me on the phone he will be unstable. Needless to say after the conversation those feelings started coming back once again...ugggh. I worked so hard to try and forget this person, so why is it that he keeps popping into my life...i see his friends randomly etc. I know our relationship was unhealthy, and I know that I am a lot more together within myself even in this past month. But, why do i still have love for him and feel like he is my soulmate? I feel like such a sucker right now. What do you all think he meant by contacting me and what do you think is the right thing to do? Do you think it is even possible to be friends? I think it would be quite difficult since i am still sexually attracted to him

Go figure the ex contacted me. He talked to me over instant messenger...told me how he thinks it is stupid we dont talk (he avoided me) how he thinks I look amazing and then throws in that I am his baby...and if he talked to me on the phone he will be unstable. Needless to say after the conversation those feelings started coming back once again...ugggh. I worked so hard to try and forget this person, so why is it that he keeps popping into my life...i see his friends randomly etc. I know our relationship was unhealthy, and I know that I am a lot more together within myself even in this past month. But, why do i still have love for him and feel like he is my soulmate? I feel like such a sucker right now. What do you all think he meant by contacting me and what do you think is the right thing to do? Do you think it is even possible to be friends? I think it would be quite difficult since i am still sexually attracted to him

Go figure the ex contacted me. He talked to me over instant messenger...told me how he thinks it is stupid we dont talk (he avoided me) how he thinks I look amazing and then throws in that I am his baby...and if he talked to me on the phone he will be unstable. Needless to say after the conversation those feelings started coming back once again...ugggh. I worked so hard to try and forget this person, so why is it that he keeps popping into my life...i see his friends randomly etc. I know our relationship was unhealthy, and I know that I am a lot more together within myself even in this past month. But, why do i still have love for him and feel like he is my soulmate? I feel like such a sucker right now. What do you all think he meant by contacting me and what do you think is the right thing to do? Do you think it is even possible to be friends? I think it would be quite difficult since i am still sexually attracted to him

Im sorry to hear that. That makes me mad to think that of how long they could have been out of love with you...it also makes me wonder the same thing for me and my ex. There definitely are better people out there for us. Its just having to start all over again....and then that possiblity of it not working....man, relationships are tough stuff. Maybe I will order a male order groom or something? jk

Closure...what a crazy thing...on one hand I feel like closure is only meant for when someone you love dies. On the other hand I feel like all of this was against my will. Im not the one who wanted it...thereforeeee I am the one who is left to question myself and think about every aspect of my life. The thing about me is that I know my faults...I dont have a problem stepping up to the plate to change the things I want to. Isnt that what every relationship deserves? two people who are willing to change for the better and WORK at the problems? I feel that this was NOT my fault...I mean I take blame for half of it...because it is a two way thing....but I think we could have worked things out for the better. Like all of you ....I think we tell ourselves we are letting go but can you actually ever forget that person? You cant forget them...you numb yourself....pray...wish..grow stronger...But when you are done all of that...you just accept it? I think its the dumbest thing in the world to LOVE and be LOVED and then try and trick yourself that you dont like that person. Maybe my ex feels like the grass is greener on the other side...its not...and i dont think any of you deserved that either. This is all just so crazy to think that when you...me and all the rest of us who are still in love our ex counterparts are trying to numb themselves by living in a fantasy world. I guess these questions will never be answered for me...I just dont see how Love dies..

I just dont understand how you could be best friends with someone...and just like that...the friendship/love vanished? How is that? You are right about not reading that stuff...its just hard to completely let go. I truly dont think he will find someone as loving and caring as I was...and the worst part is that I dont even think he cares. I just cant grasp the concept of never being with someone you loved with all of your heart....maybe I am the weirdo for feeling this way.

Its been almost a month since I got "dumped" by the ex... I have been proud of myself for staying so strong but I feel like there was no closure. He talked to me over the computer after a week of not being together and clarified that the break was an actual break up....nice guy! The problem is that I see him where I work more than I would like to...and he ignores me like 3 years together was aquaintance worthy after a break up. Actually at least an aquaintaince would be acknowledged...not me. So basically what I am wondering is do you think he is completely over me? I know what he is doing with his time by reading a website he goes on...I read it when I miss him...the last post was about him making an emotional connection with someone he would never see again...as well as how he gets a lot of attention from others...this should not bother me at all...Because I went out and met someone last thurs. No matter what I find myself comparing them to him and thinking ill never find someone that I loved so much. What should I do...why is he ignoring me completely? we are both adults so whats the point of him ignoring me if he is over me?

Thanks a lot Ray Kay... I definitely hope he sees that she is not perfect etc...I just hate this feeling of rejection...He was my first love, we both lost our virginity together. Those feelings are tough to just throw away. But the fact that he could openly discuss our relationship with another girl he "made a connection" with...this makes me realize that he is not worth it.. He looked at me in my face...we were both crying hysterically..and he told me he did not love me because he felt that way about her. It hurt but everyones advice is right...learn from it etc. I really hope he comes back...I just want that satisfaction of saying no. That would feel so good. Thanks for your advice it is making me feel a lot better.

So you think that values dont play a factor into this at all....its like she dated his bestfriend for 7 years as well as his twin brother...in my opinion it is a bit dysfunctional... Its so hard because I feel like we have much more in common then they will...and he told me "it would be so much easier...she is done school and in grad school, and had a good upbringing" To me that is ridiculous...because he is seeing that the grass is greener....I dont know the answers and it is making me so frustrated. I feel like we hung out every single moment together...lived together...only hung out with one another...that is unhealthy...and I know she is going to seem so perfect because it is not going to get to that point. Another thing is that I see him where I work almost everyday...he doesnt even say hello...I am not going to go out of my way. I also received a prank call from one of his friends.. My ex is 25 years old...isnt that a bit immature? It is also immature how he smokes marijuana frequently. All of these factors make me so angry...that on top of the fact I was rejected and for another girl who he thinks is just like me but who he believes to be in a better disposition in life.