living_life_sucks
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Thank you Melrich. You have helped me put my relationship into perspective. You make alot of sense when you write. I understand that what ever happens next is up to me. I am full aware of the potential outcomes and I think that that has been my fear all along. I will take your words for what they are worth and try to make the best descision I can. Also, thank you for helping me gain confidence in questioning what doesn't feel right. I don't know your background in giving advice like this, but it seems like you know what you are doing and I am thankful you are here to help.
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Well, it's just that, I can see my self marrying him in the future, when he is more responsible, but I don't know what to do right now. Even our families are well aquanted with one another already. But I think you are right, I just may not love him as much as he loves me at this moment, but I do love him. I'm sorry if I'm giving you a head ache Melrich. I just feel like this is going to be one of the biggest descisions that I make in my life and that I will regret which ever descision I make. If I do decide to leave him now, what if he is with someone else in the future when he has his life straightend out and I totally regret it because if I do break up with him now it would be with the intention of getting back together one day when it is time to.
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melrich, I am a very stupid girl aren't I?
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Wow. That is a very clear and concise way to put it. Is there any way you can think of that I may make this relationship better for us. Is there anything I can do to make it more balanced other than breaking up with him. I'm sure it's not entirely his fault or my fault that our relationship is the way it is now. I wouldn't want him to go through the pain of something that doesn't have to be unless that is absolutely the last straw. Although we are close to that point, but it seems that things are slowly changing.
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What do you mean by this? Do you think that I am being one sided or do you think he is and what do you mean by one sided?
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what do you do when someone disrespects you?
living_life_sucks replied to teacup's topic in Personal Growth
Sorry I don't know how this got repeated -
what do you do when someone disrespects you?
living_life_sucks replied to teacup's topic in Personal Growth
Sorry I don't know how this got repeated -
what do you do when someone disrespects you?
living_life_sucks replied to teacup's topic in Personal Growth
The topic of disrespect is subjective. What you percieve has disrespectul may not be percieved in the same way by others. Innately humans try to be good. People don't like to do bad things knowing well that what they are doing is bad. A good start to solving your problem is confronting the issue when it arrises. For all we know it might just be a misunderstanding of individual differences. Explain your perspective and try to understand theirs. From there you and the person causing you to feel disrespected may understand each other more. Don't let things slide. The more you try to ignore things the more it will tick you off. Also, try not to confront the issue aggressively. Try to be neutral in your approach and talk things through. This may take a little more effort on your part, but it may be worth it if it can save you some emotional stress. -
Yes we have good communication in our relationship. He knows were we stand and he maturing and all, but sometimes I feel like he is taking so long to change. I feel like he is holding me back, and I know he feels like I'm pulling him up, but I just don't know how much longer I can do this. Holding on to him is really effecting me and where I am going in life, yet I don't want to just give up on him. We have come so far. I feel that no matter what I decide I will be losing a big part of who I am.
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Well do you still want to be with her or not. It seems like you don't want anything to do with her anymore. If you do, talk to her, if you don't then tell her don't just ignore her, unless you absolutely don't care about her anymore. If you and her have been dating for that long it was probably really hard for her to even bring up what ever was on her mind. It seems that she may be stressed out and need time for herself for a while. In the mean time she probably hopes that you'll be changing as well. It seems that she still cares for you and doesn't want you to hurt, although you are or did go through some pain. It seems that she doesn't want it to end, but wants things to change before coming back in. It is also possible that she does want it to end, but doesn't want to see you hurt. I don't know there isn't enough information you chould talk to her and try to figure it out.
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Frustrated at Making Friends in new city
living_life_sucks replied to remi0378's topic in Friendship and Friends
Hey there, I had a friend recently go to Chicago for an internship and he had the same problem. His solution was hanging out with is cousins friends or clique, but of course you may not have reletives there so maybe try to become good friends with atleast one other person from there and network through them and their friends and expand from there. Sorry I have no absolute solution, but I hope this helps the least bit. I know it can be lonely and hard, my friend really had a hard time too. Good luck with that. I hope things get better for you. -
Yeah, I want to change the nickname, but I don't know how. That is just the e-mail I use when I'm depressed about something then I open that up when I'm feeling better to give myself advice. I suppose this site is better than that though. Now to my problem, I do not like the situation I am in at all, and I feel that leaveing it is the only answer, but honestly, if it is possible I want to make it work with my boyfriend and don't want a permanent break up. Everything is just too much for me right now. I want him to change, but nothing happens overnight. He's slowly changing, but he's doing it too slow, and he's only doing it because I would leave him otherwise. I don't use leaving as a threat. My intentions are to give him a chance so that he knows what he can do to save the relationship instead of just dropping it all on some day that I'm tired of everything.
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Yeah, I might do that, I've tried before, but it didn't last for more than a couple days. I guess I should try this again and let him know I really mean business.
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Well there is always two sides to every story. From your perspective it seems that he is choosing his job over you, but he did say for the next five years. So maybe he has plans to settle down with you then, but you should ask to see if that is what he meant. If so, if you still want to be with him try to see if you can change something about yourself to make the relationship work again. You might just have to be patient and wait until he is really ready. It may be that he is just scared to commit to such a lifestyle change, it may be that he wants to be more financially secure first, it may be alot of things, the possibilities are endless. The only way to solve the problem is to talk through with him and why he wanted the break up and figure out from there whether it is in both of your interests to stay together or to part. Don't let it all end on a misunderstanding. If your ready to settle now and can't wait any loner and he just doesn't feel ready he might not be the right one for you. Hoowever if you deeply and sincerely love him and are willing to wait even if there are no gaurentees in your future on when your family will start or if it ever will then you should probably stay with him. I hope that I was able to be of some help to you. Best of luck to you.
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Wow, Celci, your question seems to be taking alot of heat. I see where it can be offensive, but I also see where your cariousity lies. As far as how your child may turn out anything is possible. The charectreristics and genes you children may receive are going to be random depending on which gene is donimant. There is a chance your child may look mexican altogether, there is a chance your child may look pure causasion, and there is a chance that you child my look mixed. Each child may have different dominant genes thereforeeee they may have different features. I feel that it is reasonable to think about how your children may turn out because people in society notice color. If your child looks interatial your child may go through idnetity searching, and may have a tougher time growing up depending on where they live. Your child may also have an easier time if you are in a place that is accepting of peoples individual differences. In addition according to psychology the more mixed backgrounds there are in a child the more beautiful people think they are. This a experimwnt was a computer generated esperiment where they mixed different features from different faces to create an interatial model on a person. They did serveys on who people thought looked more attractive. The most interatially mixed usually chosen. Well I don't know if I answered your question, but this is a somewhat educated aproach to this interatial topic. I wish you the best with you and your boyfriend.