furakura

I apologise for using vulgar language in my thread. Sorry!

Hi everyone, just wanna update on my progress. I'm sure some of you know my story where i got rudely dumped via email. I have been on strict NC since and have deleted his phone numbers, blocked his emails and deleted him off IM. Last Saturday, i nearly broke NC cos i was feeling very desperate and vulnerable - my parents had a huge argument and came to blows twice in the same night and i had to break them up twice. I was utterly devastated by my parents' actions and suddenly recalled that he once said to me that he will always be there for me, which i realised was all bull * * * * since he can dump me with such finality while saying he respected me. I stayed firm and did not search for his contact number. On hindsight, i am very glad i did cos even if i did, i would have achieved nothing and the last thing i want is for him to pity me. Yes, the ache in my heart is still there but i know i am healing. Just that a very small part of my heart wants him back but my mind knows that even if we ever get back together, it wouldn't work out anyway plus he has hurt me way too much this time. Thanks everyone for hearing me rant Have a great weekend!

Thanks heaps for your advice Take good care of urself ok?

sukerbut: Thanks for your advice and have been going to the gym. I hope i can get to the point where i will stop questioning myself..... Scout: I doubt i will ever hear from him again since he has made it very clear that he wants nothing to do with me anymore. This is even though he wrote in his email that he was very happy when i visited. Why would someone wanna do that? It just hurts Beyondthesea: Nope, the funniest thing is he never ever called me the whole time i was overseas and i was the one who always did. I feel i have put in too much of my feelings and now i am paying the price. I wished he had told me of his decision on the last day of my visit, at least face-to-face but i guess to him, i don't even deserve that

Yes, i know proximity is very important which was why i planned to move back to the same city as him next year. Guess he can't wait....

To: Blue In Texas Sorry for a very brief summary: Met my ex more than three years ago and we started out as friends first. Then, i had to move overseas but we remained in contact till i visited him last year where i realised the ex had feelings for me and we decided to give an LDR a shot with plans for me to move back next year. Fast forward to this year, i took time off work and visited him. Exactly two weeks after i left, he sent me an email telling me that he feels too lonely and it's too painful for him to wait. Thus, i should not contact him anymore (along with details that he actually had opportunities with other women) and refused to answer his mobile. I managed to contact him in the end on another line but he was very evasive and he said he cannot be romantically involved with me ever again. I thought i got closure the first time when i got him to tell me that he is breaking up with me but what really bugged me still was when i asked him why, all he can say to me is that he has said all he has to say in his email.

Hi everyone, I'm currently in my third week of NC. Deleted my ex's contact details from the phone/IM/email and i don't have any urges to contact him. But i'm really bothered about the fact i keep remembering the wonderful times i spent with him prior to him sending me that breakup email (exactly two weeks after i left) which never truly explained why he reached the decision, except that it's too painful for him and that he and i cannot even be friends because he doesn't want to be reminded of what could be. I can't help wondering what i did to push him to make the decision, especially every morning when i wake up. He wrote that he respected me in his last email but if he really did, why choose such a way to put an end to a relationship? I know i should stop pondering and questioning but it's really a challenge at the moment. Anyone got any advice?

Many thanks to everyone who has commented I feel very encouraged by your kind words. DN: Thanks for advising me to wait. There is still time for me to change my mind cos the earliest i can move is early next year anyway, i'm determined to move on though. There is no temptation to see him at all, i don't even have the urge to contact him. Yes, I do know i will feel much happier moving back to that city. He may have crushed my heart but my spirit is still intact and whole icemotoboy: I'm sorry that ur ex chose to dump u via msn. It's good to hear that you and your ex are both moving on though and are still in contact. I simply can't bring myself to worry abt him anymore when he's dead to me. Msnak: My career opportunities will not let me to bump into him. He's in law enforcement while i am working towards becoming a certified accountant. But if i ever bump into him again, i will say hi cos i know i have not done anything wrong. luvagain: Thanks for being able to relate, it is a very painful healing process especially when there wasn't any proper closure from the ex. I know i will become stronger like you said shamus: Sorry to hear that your ex. Take care of yourself, i'm sure you'll mean someone who's truly worthy of your love. Pikey1972: Yes! I am very grateful for my friends' support during the darkest hours.

I have no desire to see the ex again honestly with the method he has chosen to use to end the relationship. Even though i don't hate him, he has lost all my respect. I have to apologise but i didn't indicate in my first post that i used to live in the same city as the ex. But due to family commitments and responsibilities, i had to move overseas to help my father with his business. In the process, i left behind majority of my friends, including the ex who was still a friend then. I do wished that i didn't have to make the decision to move back too but i just cannot stand being emotionally abused by my mom here anymore and i want to get as far as i can from my meddling family.

Hi everyone, I would like to share my story and would like some advice. My ex and i were in a LDR for more than 6 months with plans for me to move to the same city next year. Two weeks after returning from visiting him for two weeks, i received an email from him to inform me that he is ending the relationship and that he and i cannot even remind friends so as "to not remind him of what could be". Also, i am to cease contact all form of contacts with him cos he cannot deal with the loneliness and has found it too painful to wait a long time before he can see me again. I frantically tried to reach him on his mobile but he refused to answer my calls. In the end, i managed to reach him on another number where he tried to hang up on me many times. I asked for an explanation as to why he made his decision and he said he has said all he wanted to say in the email (which basically explained nothing except admitting to me that he actually went out on dates with other women) I pleaded with him to give the relationship another shot but he turned me down flat. On hindsight, i shouldn't have done it but it was useless. Since that phonecall, i have erased all traces of information related to him and embarked on NC cos to me, the guy i had loved has died. But after two weeks, i still feel hurt every morning when i wake up and i haven't been sleeping well. Is it cos i have not shed a single tear or even feel like crying? The thing i wanna ask is my friends have advised me against moving back to the same city as the ex is living as i currently still have plans to. My reason is to further my career but my friends think that it's better for me to wait till i have completely gotten over the end of the relationship. What do you guys think? Any comments will be greatly appreciated. Many thanks!

Hi everyone, Hope someone can help me because I have been feeling really awful. I have know this guy for nearly two years, we started out as friends but we started hanging out together and he actually introduced me to all his friends and family but we never confessed our feelings to each other. Then I had to move overseas due to family issues but we still keep in contact via email. After a year, he invited me to his graduation ceremony and i flew back specially for it. He confessed that he has liked me for a long time and is very attracted to me and asked if I would sleep with him. He actually wanted to ask me a long time ago but didnt have the courage to. We ended up losing our virginity to each other. At the end of my trip, i rang him up right before i boarded the plane and asked him if he was serious about me because i would do all i can to move back and he totally freaked out, saying that he's starting a new life with a new career and there's no place for me. His reaction really hurt and disappointed me because i thought there was something there. I do feel like he treated me like a sex toy and wanted to discard me after using me. Right now, i am thinking about calling him up to clear things up, would that be a right move? Because I want to move on if he's not serious. Question for the guys ---> Is it possible to like a girl whom you enjoyed her company to want to sleep with her but not have a relationship?