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whattheheck

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  1. whattheheck
    I was thinking about sending a Thanksgiving greeting to my ex gf. She broke up with me back in August, and went to a new guy right away. No contact since. I wanted to send her an email wishing her a happy Thanksgiving, but I do not think I should if she is still seeing her man. Any suggestions? Also, how could I find out if she is still seeing him?
  2. whattheheck
    hockeyboy - thanks. I will try to write something up in the next few weeks. Then, I'll see if I have the guts to give it to her.
  3. whattheheck
    I'm not sure - I kind of want to say I still love her, miss her, etc. But I'm not sure what to say.
  4. whattheheck
    Hockeyboy - I guess I really want to know your (and anyone else's) opinion as the letter will help or hurt my chances someday. what do you all think? Will the letter even make a difference?
  5. whattheheck
    Thanks to all. Also, I think she still has her boyfriend that she went to very soon after we broke up. Should that make a difference in my decision to contact her?
  6. whattheheck
    Trish - so are you going to pour your heart out to him, and tell him you love him, etc? Or is it going to be more casual? Any ideas on what to write?
  7. whattheheck
    Thanks - I'll try that.
  8. whattheheck
    Wow - That would be tough for me, but I may do it. Which do you think would be better to get her back in the long run - NC or call?
  9. whattheheck
    Thanks - I guess it is a decision I will have to make. Honestly, i do not think she will even respond to the letter, but I think i really would move on better after that. what is your opinion - which is a better shot at getting her back - sending the letter, or continue with NC?
  10. whattheheck
    I just want the chance to sit down with her someday and talk about things, and see if there is a chance we could start fresh. It seems like if I had a second chance, I would be able to heal even better even if it did not work out, because then i would know that I did all I could.
  11. whattheheck
    My ex gf broke up with me in August, and we have had very limited contact. I was thinking on writing her a letter before I leave out of state for two weeks for Christmas. I was thinking on writing her a letter to let her know I still care and miss her, and still love her. That way, I will be away from home for two weeks with my family, and not expect any call or response from her. I'm not sure if she is still seeing her new bf, but probably is. I'm thinking - is NC really the best way to try to get someone back, or is it only the best way to heal? I really want her back still. Which is best? Write a letter or forget about it?
  12. whattheheck
    My ex gf dumped me at he beginning of August, and was in love with someone else within 2 weeks - I put up a post a couple of weeks ago titled, "Ex Gf already talking marriage within two weeks of dumping me." I was sad at the time, and now I feel sad again. At first , I thought to myself that her relationship would end because she moved so quick and fell in love so quick with her new man. But I just found out yesterday that they are still madly in love with each other, and want to spend the rest of their lives together. This info is not from my ex gf, but I found out again from an aquaintance. So I almost feel just as bad as the beginning because my ex is still totally in love with this guy. Deep down, I was hoping for the rebound thing to happen to her, but it looks like it will not. It looks like it will last. I also thought that since she has a good career, her new relationship wouldn't last because he is taking first year courses at a technical college. She is 27, but I don't know his age. So I guess she must really love this guy. I thought I was getting stronger, but the reality of her still being with this guy for 3 months now is hurting me more than I thought. I have to realize that the rebound thing probably will not happen to her. I know I have to accept that and move on. Any advice? I just do not understand why I feel very sad again. I thought I was getting stronger, but not as strong as I thought.
  13. whattheheck
    I found out the other day that my ex gf of over 4 years already fell "in love" with her new man within a week or two of dumping me. She dumped me the beginning of August, and was talking marriage with her new man in the middle of August. WOW!!! What the heck happened? Obviously, she must have been going out with him behind my back when we were still together, but still, THAT WAS AWFUL QUICK!!! They were already talking about spending the rest of their lives together!! What a crazy world!!
  14. whattheheck
    I started reading this forum back in the beginning of August, and it seems like when I first started reading this site, their were so many breakup stories being posted. Now, it seems like the number of breakup posts have declined a great deal. Anyone take a guess as to WHY? Are people more prone to breaking up at certain times of the year?
  15. whattheheck
    My 5th year anniversary would have been next week. I was planning to get engaged to my gf at this time. It's been about 2 months since she dumped me. Should I contact her in anyway? For those of you wondering, I DO want her back, so what should I do, or what should I not do? Thanks.
  16. whattheheck
    I do not understand it either - why can't he just call you about your stuff? It's so stupid. Why in the world is it so hard for the ex to even make simple phone calls or emails to take care of things like getting your stuff back? Sometimes, I wonder if they are almost afraid to see us or contact us because they might be afraid that their feelings may come back for us. Who knows.
  17. whattheheck
    Mix - how did you manage to get your ex gf to talk to you? I would really like to sit down with my ex and do the same as you. Especially, since she broke up with me by phone and email. I never got any answers.
  18. whattheheck
    ruth178 - well said again!!! And like you said, I guess we will never know why they (our exes) act like that. I guess it's like they almost want us to be hurting. like you said, they were the dumpers!! I guess we can't worry about it.
  19. whattheheck
    Ruth1978 - Well said!! In fact she did say in her email how good she is doing, and how busy she is!! I agree with you in that I don't understand why the dumper has to play games. I can't believe your ex played all those stupid games with you, especially 3 years later. It's crazy how he would try to get you jealous by sending you those text messages. How childish!! I think you are correct in saying how even the dumper (in our cases) try to make us feel like they are doing so well without us, and trying to rub it in our faces. Well I believe that if they were doing so well, they wouldn't be playing the games!!!!! It seems like you have a good head on your shoulders, and you are mature enough to treat people like you would want to be treated.
  20. whattheheck
    Also - to all - I'm also tired of hearing about strategies, what to do, what not to do. It's all just flat out ridiculous. If your ex wants you back, then he/she will come back no matter what you do. Of course, as long as you do not do someting terrible to them, eg. slashing thier tires, etc.
  21. whattheheck
    Sonjam - It seems that you have a wonderful, trusting relationship. I wish I could find someone to marry just like you - one who doesn't need to be with a mate 24 hours a day. You sound like you are independent and WANT to be with your husband, rather than a NEED to be with him. That sounds like a healthy relationship!!
  22. whattheheck
    ruth1978 - I agree with you that she had time to open the email, so why not respond? It only takes an extra minute!!! also, you said that she wants me to wonder why she didn't respond. But why? She dumped me!! She shouldn't have to play games with me because she has no feelings for me anymore. So why the games?
  23. whattheheck
    I was just thinking about all of the games we have to play when dealing with the ex, from both sides - the dumper and dumpee. For example, my ex gf of broke up with me 2 months ago, and we have had very minimal contact - only by email just to take care of getting her stuff back, etc. Last week though, I emailed her to tell her that I found an item of hers (sentimental, not from me) and for her to let me know if she wanted it back. She read her message right away that day (I know because I can check when my email is opened) but she waited three days to respond back. She was very nice (for once) and said she would like it back, and to let her know when she can get it. So of course, I myself wait a few days to respond to not make her think I'm pushing her and so on. So after I sent her the second email from me, which was yesterday morning, she will probably wait a few days to respond to me. Then, I will wait a few days, and so on and so on....... My point is why the heck can't we all just grow up (including me) and just act like mature adults instead of always playing games, and saying to ourselves, "if I did it this way, what will she think," or "if I contact her too soon, she will think I'm desperate"....... It's just flat out ridiculous we have to live that way. For example, why did my ex have to wait 3 days to respond to my email? She is the dumper, but obviously she is trying to send a message (playing games) to show me that she has moved on, or maybe she is thinking something else. who knows? To sum it all up, Isn't it just awful all the stupid, childish games we have to play, just to try to deceive and outsmart, and play with each other's minds? I think it is horrible. And when my ex gf acts this way, it also makes me think of her as not worth the effort anymore. I mean, what the heck is the big deal? Why couldn't she just email me back sooner and say, "yes, i want my item" or say "leave me alone" or anything? Sorry for venting, but the world would be a better place if we didn't have to play all the stupid games.
  24. whattheheck
    Well she responded this past Friday, but I just read the email today. she basically said thanks, and said she would like her item back, and to let her know when she can get it. She also said to enjoy the weekend. She was very courteous, etc. No big deal, though. My question is: Should I just leave it on my front porch, or should I just be there and give it to her. I do still have feelings for her, but if I do see her, I will NOT mention us at all. I kind of want to see her in person just to show her I am confident, and doing well. When I respond back to her email, should I give her the option and ask her if she wants me to not be there and leave it on the porch, or if she is OK with me being there? I tend to think that I should just tell her to come over whenever she wants, and to just let me know when she wants to come over. Anyone have any suggestions?
  25. whattheheck
    Let me ask you all this - If a person does not stay in contact with the ex, then how can he/she make the dumper jealous? any ideas? Or do I just hope I see her out, and hopefully I'll have a hot new girl with me?
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