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whattheheck

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  1. whattheheck
    Scout - thanks again. I really appreciate that you are really honest and tell it like it is. Also, thanks for all your work on this forum. I appreciate it.
  2. whattheheck
    Scout - i sent it yesterday (Tuesday) morning, and I know she read it because I can check to see if my sent mail was opened or not. anyway, deep down I know you are right about giving her more time. But I still wonder - "what's the big deal? It only takes a minute to respond. " In fact if she hates me that much, then why can't she respond and say "Yes/no, I want my item back. And by the way, leave me alone" And again, Scout, I know you are right that I shouldn't even try to analyze this, but I would at least respond. But I know we can't control others, and we shouldn't try to. i can't always expect others to do what I think is right.
  3. whattheheck
    I understand what Scout is saying, but it's been about 2 months since the breakup, and we've had very minimal contact. I just don't understand why she can't just email me back and say " yes, i would like my thing back"..... I know she is not coming back to me, and my email was very simple "Hope you are doing well," "I have your thing here"... I mentioned nothing about us or anything. I just don't get it!!! what the heck is wrong with people?
  4. whattheheck
    Scout - that's true. it may have kind of shocked her that I sent her this email. She probably was not expecting to hear from me. Also, she dumped me, and maybe wants to be careful not to give me false hope if/when she does respond. which I guess I can understand from her side. As regard to your second post, we already took care of getting her stuff back about a month ago, and that went very smooth. In fact she thanked me for putting her stuff together in a nice, neat way, etc. I just found her new item yesterday, and emailed her to she if she wants it or not. also, I can understand why you were offended when your ex called you about your stuff. thanks.
  5. whattheheck
    I 've had about a month of NC, and I found something of my ex gf that was still in my house (a sentimental thing to her - not about us). So I emailed her and told her that if she wants her thing (I don't want to say what it is in case she is on this forum) just let me know. NO RESPONSE. But if she can't even be grown up enough to email back and respond, then the heck with her. This kind of makes me able to move on better because I really see her true colors now. She sure had me fooled. I almost feel sorry for her. I wish people would just grow up for once and treat others like they would want to be treated. Whatever happened to common courtesy and regard to other's feelings?
  6. whattheheck
    If only - you made a good point about how you had to deal with it on your own, and that you will be a stronger person by dealing with this on your own. Your ex has not dealt with this yet - he got a quick fix (like my ex gf) by going directly to someone else. Our exes never even gave themselves time to think about things. That will backfire on them someday. I actually feel sorry for my ex, how she can't be without a guy for more than 2-3 days. Even after a 5 year relationship!!!! That shows that she is unstable, needy, desperate.
  7. whattheheck
    I hear ya'. i know aht you are feeeling. My ex gf dumped me and went immediately to a new guy. She turned into a miserable, heartless, gutless pig. I emailed her to see if she wanted her Bible back (It was a gift for her college graduation) but she doesn't even have the guts to respond back. Like I always say - What comes around, goes around. Always remember that!! your story is similar to mine. I was with my ex for almost 5 years also, and she just turned on me. Someday, she will get a taste of her own medicine. Take care.
  8. whattheheck
    Muneca - well said about being friends first. That's why after about 4 weeks of NC, I emailed my ex gf just to say hi and also to tell her I have her Bible at my house, which she may want. I mentioned nothing about us or trying to get her back (Which I did the first 2-3 weeks after I got dumped). She did not respond yet, and probably will not, but at least I'm trying to be a better man and show her that I can at least contact her without being emotional and weak. Also, as MixMaster said, I do not expect her to respond, and it really doesn't bother me anymore that she will not respond. As MixMaster said, I am moving on, but still kind of leaving the door open. Expect the worst, hope for the best, but do not dwell on it.
  9. whattheheck
    Noggy - I think what Mixmaster was saying was that if you made the mistakes of begging and pleading, then stop it now. Rather, you might want to take 3-4 weeks of NC, then maybe give your ex an email just to say hi. If she/he doesn't respond, that's fine, because you shouldn't expect your ex to respond. I have been doing about 4 weeks of NC and I may give my ex a casual email just to say hi, and hope she is doing well. She probably will not respond, but I don't expect her to. I think that if I send her an email, it will show her that I am the better person, and do not hold any grudges.
  10. whattheheck
    what are the problems, if any when the dumper immediately goes to a new person? I know it's kind of a rebound, but maybe not. When a person does that, does it usually work out in the long run? Or is it usually the same result as a rebound?
  11. whattheheck
    Ugh!!! What to do!!! Nothing is easy, especially dealing with relationships!!!
  12. whattheheck
    justwicethen - ya see!!! you are another example. All these people are getting the calls - WHY NOT ME!!!! But I agree with you, I wish I had been single for the last 4 years - how much easier life would be!!
  13. whattheheck
    I have been doing NC for a while now (3-4 weeks) but still wonder if "out of sight, out of mind" might be happening. I tend to think that it would almost be better to at least give my ex a casual email every 2-3 weeks. I know everybody says that NC is best for healing, which I agree. But is NC really the best for getting a second chance? I'm sure this has been debated before, but still not quite convinced which is the best for a possible reconciliation.
  14. whattheheck
    Thanks to all - it's just awful sometimes how I just want to contact her in some way, just to see if she'll respond. But I know that is probably not a good thing to do. I already know that she will not respond, but i still want her to know I'm here - which as you all said, may just backfire on me. I was even thinking about sending her a blank email, or call her cell when i know she's not available to answer it so she can see my number on her caller id, just to see if she will respond. It's scary how my mind tries to find ways to handle things. I think the problem is, I never got closure from the breakup - she just flipped and left (i should have noticed the signs before it happened, though). she basically called me and said it's over. I still wish I could sit down and talk to her just to get some answers, but I know it's not going to happen. I'm trying so hard to forget about it and move on.
  15. whattheheck
    Thanks to all - but the problem is, i think she will totally forget about me (we had a 4 year relationshp) if I never contact her, especially since she is dating someone else. How can I even "compete" with her new man by doing nothng? any suggestions? Hubman - like you said about being out of sight/mind - that's what I'm afraid of! She will end up forgetting me.
  16. whattheheck
    My ex dumped me about 7 weeks ago, and right now am on 4 weeks no contact. She is with her new boyfriend now, since we broke up. Just wondering if minimal contact (every 2-3 weeks) by email just to say hi, would be better than strictly no contact. Or, should I do NC for another month or so, an then maybe contact her with an email just to say hi? Any ideas?
  17. whattheheck
    Tiger, belle, edlooc - very good points again. My question is this - I'm almost positive she would meet me/talk to me if/when she breaks up with her new man. But how the heck will I ever know if/when she breaks up with him? Should I send her a casual email once every few weeks, or just strictly do NC? I probably already know the answer - stick with NC and let her come to me if she desires.
  18. whattheheck
    edudlooc - i see what you are saying. I have seen her out before with her new bf, and I was having a good time with friends and other woman. But that's the only time i've seen her. I haven't contacted her or seen her in three weeks.
  19. whattheheck
    Sadman - I would like to have that problem - I sure wish my ex gf came back to me for any reason. Just curious though, Sadman, what happened to her new guy she is with?
  20. whattheheck
    Tiger - good points, as always from you. What you said about how the dumper may never see how much better I've become is my main concern. I'vr asked this before. but no one seems to answer it - how the heck are we supposed to show our ex that we are happy, moving on, confident and so on if we never get a chance to see them because they are with someone else? Any thoughts from anybody?
  21. whattheheck
    I've been reading about NC and other ideas to help get your ex back. But what if they have someone else already? Obviously, I need to try to move on, but if I really want her back, is there anything else to do or not to do?
  22. whattheheck
    Tinkerbell - thanks for your input. I agree with you - it may not be exactly a rebound. She stated that i didn't treat her right because I didn't take her out enough, didn't tell her she looks nice, and didn't appreciate her. We decided to work on things (from both sides), then a day later, she turned cold because she found some other guy who was interested in her. Actually, i think she had him already waiting for her. But, my point is, she would have worked things out with me but she decided to find out if the grass is greener. But i really think she just wants to go out and sew some wild oats. In fact, when she first started to act strange, i noticed that she started drinking and partying more with her friends, and started to want to go out and get drunk. Also, I agree with you about the fact that NC may not be such a good thing. I always thought that a casual email, or to send her a e-greeting that I'm praying for her happiness would be a good idea once every few weeks. But I'm so reluctant to do so because almost everyone here says to do NO CONTACT. Also, to those others who believe in no contact, how the heck will i ever know if she DOES breakup with her new fling if I do NC? If I do that, I may never know what is going on in her life!
  23. whattheheck
    the only time I see her is when i see her and her boyfriend out. A few times so far. We have zero contact.
  24. whattheheck
    My ex gf has been dating her new guy for about 6 weeks now. How long before the newness wears off? 3 months, 6, 9, ? The problem is, I still want her back, but I'm afraid that she will never call me someday if she breaks up from her new man because she probably thinks that I would never take her back after what she has done. Any suggestions?
  25. whattheheck
    I was just wondering - my gf left me for someone else. Is that considered a rebound? I know we can't put a number on them, but what percentage of rebounds actually work out? If they don't work out, how long before they break up? Just want some estimates from people who have experienced a rebound from either side. I know this question has been asked a lot before, but was just wondering.
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