Jibralta

Oh, man. You really fell for it. I'm so sorry. Let it go. That's my advice. You'll never, ever understand why he behaves this way because you're not a bag of garbage like he is. So save yourself the time and chalk this up to a learning experience. You'll do better next time!

Sounds like he is going through something! Word to the wise: if someone is claiming to love you after two conversations, question it!!

I think we all get our fixes one way or another!

This reminds me of something that happened during my first and only time going to sleepaway camp. A couple of days before I left, this girl Candy tried to coax me into "going out" with this guy named Jared. I think he might have been a counsellor. I liked him as a friend and even thought he was cute, but I preferred liking him from afar lol. It just seemed like "going out" with someone was so major. People who went out with each other were making out, saying I love you... it was too much. I wasn't ready for that. So, I said to Candy, "But I don't love him." And she just guffawed and said, "Who cares about that?" I was at once embarrassed at myself and annoyed with her. I didn't go out with Jared, though. I think she forced me to talk to him and I think I let him down to his face, which felt awkward and sad. I never saw any of those people again. A pity, because we had a lot of fun for the short time that we knew each other. Your story also reminds me of something that happened to my mom when she was a teenager--actually, three things! I should preface this by saying that this was the 60s and that the Greek community that she was part of was very insular at that time. My mom used to date this guy, Chris (a Greek, of course). Apparently, he was thought to be quite the catch at the time. One night, at a party, a girl and her mother locked my mom in the bathroom and kept her there all night so that the daughter would have a chance to land Chris. I'm not sure exactly how things panned out when my mom was released from the bathroom, but she eventually was. And she continued to date Chris on and off. He turned out to be no big prize. The other two incidents are parts of the same overall situation. Basically, my grandparents coerced my mom into accepting an offer of marriage from a guy she wasn't that into. My mom ended up breaking off the engagement, shocking and shaming her family. Months later, my grandparents managed to convince her to see the guy again. After a couple of dates, he proposed. My mom once again accepted, under the pressure of my grandparents. And once again, she subsequently broke the engagement. This time, my grandparents made an even bigger deal out of being ashamed of her, covering her when they went to church, etc.

No, definitely do not stay. How did you end up marrying this person?!?!?

That's the way a partner should think--YOU are what they want. They don't have to be coaxed or pressured.

I understand your feelings. But given the fact that this is a recent trauma and fresh grief, it's probably not the best time to be in a relationship with her. Of course, it would also suck if you broke up with her at this moment.... tough spot to be in!

I'm sorry to say it, but you robbed yourself of this opportunity and this choice when you left the matter in her hands. You could have talked about STDs before you became intimate. Sure, if she was an evil person, she wouldn't have told you. But if she's a decent person who's simply been misinformed (or confused by the contradictory treatment practices of the medical industry), I think she probably would have told you. I think this because she could have hidden this outbreak from you. But instead she was upfront about it.

Well, that's the big joke when every generation comes up. Whether it's race, gender, religion, politics... it's always the same!

My parents were not perfect by any means, but one thing I appreciate to this day (I am 46) is that they did not insert themselves into my social or romantic life. They let me make my own decisions and take my own lumps. If you want your daughter to develop adult coping skills then she needs to learn to deal with the consequences of her actions--by herself. Sooner, rather than later. If her consequences are always mommy or daddy intervening, she will be very slow to reach adulthood.

I don't have massive highs and lows, but I did enjoy the swoon of a crush in my day. And I enjoy taking risks. I find the ups and downs enjoyable. But mine are like the kiddie rollercoaster lol. At least where emotions are concerned. At the amusement park, I like the ones that freefall 500 feet, spin you around, and loop you over and over and over at 100 mph.

Maybe he was paralyzed by fear!

Appreciate you sharing the story! It seems crazy to me how many doctors don't really care about it/are uninformed about it It is crazy!

typing....

I just did it again today! Except it was a client's number that I had to submit in order to get a quote. This time, the last number was six... so I changed it to a five. 🤣

No! Jeez....

I agree. Perhaps she was less self conscious as a child.

For the last five or six years or so, I've been getting text messages directed towards an individual named Gerald. "Gerald, you've won a Starbuck's gift card." "Gerald, we have a great deal on CBT oil." "Gerald, click here for your Walmart gift card." Etc. I figured Gerald uses my number when he doesn't feel like giving out his own number. That bastard. I used to do that all the time when stores would ask me for my phone number. Nine out of ten digits were correct. I just changed the last number to a six. So, while I silently cursed Gerald and shook my metaphoric fist at him, I also respected the irony of the situation. Karma's is a btch, afterall. The other day, I got a text from someone inquiring after Gerald's property at 123 FakeStreetName. I googled the address and found out exactly who this Gerald is. And then I found out that he died last December. Poor guy. These text messages are going to be extra awkward going forward.

I think it would be ok to do that.

Perfect.

I texted my sister (adoptive) and my half sister "Sibling Day" greetings. I'm not big on this holiday or anything. I just noticed it was today and fired some texts away. I told Arnold as I was texting. He said, "And you have some siblings." I stared blankly at him for a second, because he has four half siblings of various combinations and three step siblings. I wondered why would he say that I have siblings--with emphasis!--when I have 1/4 the number of his siblings? I was like, "Yeah, I guess..." and named my sister and half sister, still vaguely bemused. Then he said, "You have those three Lastname siblings that don't acknowledge your existence." I was legitimately puzzled for a second, and then my biological father's last name registered. I was like, "Oh yeah... Those asshles. I forgot all about them! Wow, that's how much I don't care about them. I don't even think of them when I think of siblings. Ha!" This is something that I've thought about a lot: I don't care. Yes, I think about them from time to time. I think about the situation. I have opinions about the situation. But other than that, I don't really care. I can't really complain.

I don't think you should stop it from bothering you. If it bothers you, it bothers you. Also, I don't think you're overreacting. You have feelings and preferences, which is normal. Overreacting would be something like screaming and yelling at them, or punching one (or both) of them in the face. You need to acknowledge and respect your own feelings. That's how you set boundaries with people. You'll find that not everyone is going to align or agree with your feelings or boundaries, even when you wish they would. It's up to you to weed these people out of your life, or keep them at arm's length. If you don't respect your own feelings, who will?

I'm with you on that! I got the same impression from my doctor the last time I had the STD screening. I find this attitude very annoying. With doctors prescribing this way, I can see why your girlfriend thought it wouldn't be a problem unless she was having an outbreak.

My former coworker and I had a joke about this. We both agreed that "Relax" was literally the worst thing you could say to someone who was upset or stressed out. So, whenever she got upset or stressed out about something at work, I would quip, "Relax, Carrie. Just relax." And vice versa. When she did it to me, I'd feel a brief but real moment of irritation. And then I'd laugh.

Did you ask your doctor why that is? It just seems bizarre that it would be considered 'normal' not to take antivirals when it's a known fact that herpes is contagious even when someone is asymptomatic?