nomore

His message is loud and clear: He cannot sustain a healthy relationship with you at this time of his life. As you said it in your own post, he is just no willing to be emotionally committed to you. Even if you pursue him to get back with you (if there is a physical attraction, a lot of guys will stoop down), shortly after, he will probably going to break up with you again. Unless it is your intention to get stuck in this spiral relationship, I say break up with him for good. From the signal he is giving, this is not a good time for him to fully commit to you.

So you saying he didn't believe you? Actually I am not too surprised to hear this since I believe most people know when their mate is going behind his/her back just for some reason don't want to either confront the situation or wrap a denial blanket over their head. And as of you loosing your job... I don't know what to say. You can try for one last time to be a decent human being and warn him about the situation. I mean you can say I am willing to lose my job to prove to you (him) that I am being forthcoming and honest. Frankly, as I said, I would have gone to him with some solid full-proof evidence to make my case rather than just converstionally trying to convince him over this matter. I feel bad that you ended up being the one to burn.

I don't think I was much of a help but I guess it helps to always look at the situation from different angles. I too sometimes put myself in scenario where my love one has gone behind my back and I have a strong urge to forgive her and work things out. There are other times when I think if I ever find her cheating on me, I'll go haywire. It is good that you have your composure together and not letting this life changing event get the best of you. So ya, as you said, my suggestion is to only remember happy times and valuable moments you spent with her and move on. As of when or where you'll find your next love, I can't tell, not even you can predict when that day'll come. What I can say here is not to pressure youself to finding that significant others but rather just let the pieces fall into the place by themselves.

Here's a life changing advice: Break up with her and go on with your life. I mean come'n man! If she is cheating on you with this guy on her vacation, do you really think she is marriage worthy? As she said, she is not ready to commit to the relationship so obviously you proposing to her would only give you one answer: NO. Don't make you life a living hell, let her go.

Ok, first of all what kind of person do you call a "friend" when she is sleeping around? And if that's not enough, she obvioulsy has an ill-intention to "marry" someone solely for his finacial status or cachet. How can you even affiliate yourself with such cunning, money-hungry, manipulative woman? Second, do you really want him to marry this girl and a few years down the road they have kids and he finds out that she is having an extramarital affairs on his back? My suggestion is you MUST somehow let him know but at the same time you want to make sure you have a solid proof at hands since he is your boss and your so-called friend may manipulate him to believe YOU are in fact being jelous and lying to ruin their relationships.

So I am still here but not by choice and I don't want to say it is a miracle. A day prior to my graduation, I finally said farewell to my life and drove to my death bed. I spent a few hours just sitting on the edge revisiting my life and cried and cried... Time went by fast and I was emotionally so drained that fell asleep. I woke up around 4 A.M. finding myself in the middle of nowhere, cold and confused, I couldn't feel my face. I hysterically walked towards my car and once I got in, I just realized why I was there in the first place. But I was too tired to go back so I drove back to my apartment. Anyway, I don't regret not killing myself cuz my life got misrable when I found out I didn't pass my class and I was going to be in the college for another semester. That didn't bother me, when I told my parents, they went haywire and surely I considered an another attempt. But then a miracle number 2 occurred: My professor granted me a re-examination. So I got myself together and went to our admission department to get a permission. I don't know how and why but the advisor informed me that I had INDEED graduated and didn't even need that frigging class and the error was due to the mistake made by the advisor of my major school; miracle number 3. I still don't know what to get out of all this.

I don't have much time to write so I try to make it short and to the point. Unfortunately, I don't think I have time to go watch the sunset since I have to study for one last exam just to at least pass all my other classes before I go. I failed myself and everyone who had their hopes high on me. I don't see a point of going on anymore. I found a moderatly decent place outside of the town; the view ain't that great but that's the best I could do. I thought about the burial costs and expenses, I put down my car, computers, and tons of books to make up for the financial burden they will face. That should cover it about right. I'll try to take my time before doing it. Just going over everything I've done and mostly not accomplished. Remember me...

Tomorrow is the last day I would see a sun set. I've fallen in the vortex of sadness hurling me into abyss of emptiness. I am not afraid any more as a matter of fact I am much in peace with myself. At least now I have a purpose... To die. I'll post another message tomorrow night before formattin my machines.

I was seriously considering to end it all in the last few days. I think I was so numb that I couldn't step outside my room. But I did manage to cut myself a little bit on my hip area. Honestly I don't know why I did it, I really don't. Nothing really matters now although I am much calmer today. If I don't take my own life, I don't know how I am going to look into my parents' face. I frankly don't wanna know cuz I constantly assuring myself that I'm ganna go... soon. That's the only way to alleviate the pain. I think I'm ganna take my time to read some of the posts now. I wish this was only a nightmare... The more I think of it, I don't wanna do it becuz of my parents but just to be free of this agony, this spiral of abyss I'm stuck in.

These past few days have been hellish for me. I went home yesterday but only saw my parents for a few short minutes. I couldn't bare looking at them. I didn't say goodbye and all I wanted to look them in the face for the last time or just hold their hands, wishing they could forgive me. But I didn't have it in me. I've set the date on July 29 the day before the commencement that way they wouldn't be the parents whose kid killed himself on the day of graduation. I've just haven't decided how to go but I just have a small glimmer of hope that something would stop me. I've cried so much in the pass week that I can hardly keep my eyes open. Why does life suck so bad? All I wanted to get a job and travel. Now I've no hope, i don't feel writing anymore. The hardest part is that my mom called and asked me what it's wrong with me. I coudln't tell her, i was about to burst into tears so I had to hang up. she calls back asking how I was doing in school i just wish my heart would have exploded right then. she said if I'm having problem with one of my classes i should study hard and pass it no matter what but i didn't have it in me to say that there is no hope. i have two weeks to live but i've to pass other classes so they don't assume i was a total loser . I wish i could just go away just get away from this pain. i really don't have it in me i reall don't i feel so lightheaded all the time

There is no hope at this point. It's as if I'm walking in twilight zone. I'm paralyze and I can't feel my own emotions. I have to constantly bang my head against something to snap out of it. I rather do it in the tub so I can wash off the blood. I can't do this anymore. I have failed everyone, I was this close to graduate now for just one class... Can somebody tell me what happens when someone dies. I hope it's just pitch black... I do't wanna feel anything afterward. nothing, and I mean nothing. void is what I'm longing for. I know for the fact when I get close to the edge my knees would give up on me and I've to crawl. I don't wanna throw myself cuz it seems to be too public and that would petrify me. I don't have much time left to do any constructive research on what it's the best way to kill myself. Throwing myself off the height would make a mess and I don't want my dad to wash off my dead cold body in a disfigured form. I'm so alone. I've got no energy left in me to fight this. I wish I could just get hit by a car. I can't pick up the phone cuz it might be my parents. I keep imagining someone calling them at work... I wish my sister was here so I could hug her just once for the last time. They will never understand how I feel. This is just too much to take. I should have ended it all the first time. I should have just let myself to drown on my vomit and blood. I just don't know how much of this I can take. I have not much time left I wish I could hug someone for the last time. I can't type for today nymo

Oh god! I have heard so many stories about people being depressed over serious stuff but I feel like my situation is hopeless. I am about to get of college but the thing is I may not pass one of my classes which means I wouldn't graduate. This may sound dumb to most of you but if I don't graduate... I really going to kill myself. For the last several weeks, that's all I've been thinking. The moment I'll throw myself off the cliff... It's just so vivid. There is no way back, if I fail which I think I will, I'll just have to end it all. There is no way back. I don't know where to hide. Something inside of me keeps dying. What am I going to do. I never thought my life ends this soon. I'm shaking so bad, it's worse than sever spasm. I'm so scared. What would my family think after I die. I've ruined their lives so far but after I die... What is going to happen to them. I just can't get this thought out of my head. There is no way out. I wouldn't graduate, I'm a failure. I wasn't meant to be on this planet. I just don't know what to say. I don't want to kill myself the day of graduation cuz that would be unfair to my parents thinking I'll graduate but I wouldn't. I wish this was just another nightmare but it wouldn't go away. I'm ganna kill myself but I'm so scared. I can't think, everything constantly going blank. I'm a failure, everybody is progressing, I just want to go. Go and never come back. This pain will stop. I have nobody to talk to, nobody. I know people out there think I'm joking but it just pains me that my life would be over so soon. I wish I was someone else. There's no hope. oh god what to do where to go. I've got nothing left here. I've failed everyone, myself my family. I have no one. Not a soul just my lonely tears.