boltnrun

You don't want to be "friends". You want to be in a romantic committed relationship with him. It's really going to hurt when he tells you in detail about the women he's dating. And hurt even worse when he tells you about the amazing woman he's fallen in love with. Why put yourself through that? Why not find a man who thinks YOU are the most amazing woman and who actually wants to be in a love relationship with you? You won't find him as long as you're lurking around hoping this rude, insensitive guy somehow picks you.

So my A1c is 5.5 but my blood glucose is still high at 101. Not super high, but it's still high. It would appear I am not diabetic or pre-diabetic but I'll see if the doctor wants me to continue avoiding sugar. My blood glucose was 105 a few months ago so it seems reducing my sugar intake by about 75% has had a good effect. My cholesterol is slightly high although my triglycerides are low. I admit to not being super good at avoiding certain foods although I do not eat fast food and almost never eat fried food. But I do eat things like burger patties (plain, no cheese, cooked in the oven) and pork chops (baked) and baked or braised chicken. And I snack on crackers (usually Triscuits) and sugar free protein bars and cookies. And I do eat sugar free ice cream and pie. Probably should cut down on that. But my overall risk is at the "low" level.

And as I said before, he's perfectly capable of purchasing condoms or getting a vasectomy if he's that concerned about being "trapped". Or he could have just not had sex. I think we all know how babies are made, so I doubt he's a clueless victim. Particularly since he's already fathered multiple children. The idea that the woman is solely responsible for pregnancy is ridiculous. Now, if she had assured him she was infertile or had her tubes tied that would be a different story. I've read nothing that indicates she deliberately deceived him into impregnating her.

She wrote he became suicidal his last year of pharmacy school. It seems the pharmacy profession is triggering to him for whatever reason.

Not just men. Some people do that. My ex would ALWAYS call his exes every time he and his current girlfriend got into a fight. He wanted someone to give him attention and soothing so he could feel better about himself. He also kept up contact on a "just in case" basis, in case he wanted them around in the future to use for his own purposes. When everything was going well in his life, however, or he had a girlfriend he wanted to focus on he ignored all the others. So yes, some people do this. You can do what I did, which was to ignore him when he reached out wanting to use me to feel better. I eventually changed my number and didn't give it to him so he could no longer contact me. Worked like a charm.

Why do you jump to not being "good enough"? How is your self esteem in general? Do you think highly of yourself? How frequently do you see your friends (real friends)? What things are you involved in socially?

You keep mentioning "suggesting" things to him, but first of all he's a grown adult and second, he wouldn't view it as "suggesting". He would view it as you telling him he's defective and you have all the answers on how to "fix" him. It would be viewed as pressure. From what you've written a lot of his issues are self inflicted. I can understand how he might have panicked when he realized the time to actually become a pharmacist had arrived and it wasn't what he wanted. He could have maybe said something before it got to that point but he chose not to. Then his mother threw a temper tantrum with throwing out his equipment and he threw one by moving out and living in his car. He seems to run away from issues or hope they magically disappear instead of dealing with them. While this isn't a healthy mindset it's not all that uncommon. If he's truly suicidal and depressed he needs professional intervention. But again, that has to be his decision. Sure, you could tell him you're concerned and you hope he chooses to work with a professional but I can tell you an ultimatum will likely be poorly received. What you can do is decide if you want to continue to be involved in this mess. I understand you are emotionally connected to this man, but that shouldn't be a life sentence. If being in this relationship no longer serves you, you are free to leave. But if you do choose to stay please be well aware of what that will entail. And please step away from trying to play Ms. Fix It. You can't "fix" other people.

How would you feel if your wife agrees to an "open marriage" and she started having sex with other men? After all, if the marriage is open that would apply to the both of you, not just you.

Thank you. So my doctor ordered a sleep study which I am doing at home. It's interesting. I was so exhausted yesterday I turned off the light at 9:00 pm and got up at just after 5:00 am. I probably got almost 8 hours of sleep which is extremely rare. I have to record data for two more nights. I'm curious to know what kind of conclusion the study will come to.

Tell him you want nothing to do with him, then block him. Are you still seeing a therapist? If so, I advise you to discuss with them your conflicting feelings, where you go from being frightened of him to believing you "love" him. If you're not in therapy I strongly advise you to start up again.

Hiding your feelings behind a romantic or sexual relationship is unhealthy. It also places an unbearable burden on your partner. Please understand it's up to you, not a partner, to deal with your childhood trauma. This is also likely why your relationships aren't working. You're chasing a high OR numbness, not a mutually loving and respectful relationship.

What exactly are you "afraid" of? Can you elaborate?

She has basically told you "no, thanks". The "why" isn't really important. I do wonder why you want to continue to pursue her. Is it because she's told you she doesn't want to continue to date you? You can't possibly believe this is a one of a kind connection after ONE date. And I doubt you want to be "friends". I think you just don't want an "L" on your record, so to speak.

Again, you can't force him. If he expresses suicidal ideation in your presence or over the phone (voice call or messages) you are advised to call 911. They can get him immediate help. If he's venting to you and doesn't seem.open to "suggestions", you can decide if you want to remain present or not. That's especially true if he starts taking his frustrations out on you. You can simply say "It seems you don't feel up to talking about this right now. If you want to be left alone I'll respect that. But I want you to know I do care and I hope if you get to the point where you want help, you'll contact whoever you think can help you." You can Google mental health resources in Texas and find contact info for resources in case he does want to explore that.

I have mental health issues and I would have responded to a "get help or else!" ultimatum by shutting down even more. And becoming even more anxious and depressed. I responded much more positively when people simply said "I'm sorry, that has to be tough. Is there anything I can do to help?" You can't force your boyfriend to get help. Please rein in the tendency to want to "fix" this NOW! If you're having a hard time with it, how do you think he feels?

I'm so freaking exhausted. I'm seriously nervous about driving home after work. And I won't ask again for my manager to let.me go home early. I've shared enough about my health issues with him and I want to keep this job.

Applebee's almost ruined this song for me when they used it in their commercials. Bland McFood from a crap chain restaurant. 🤮

Of course you are. That's understandable. But if he was suicidal his last year of pharmacy school, why would you think telling him to be a pharmacist is a good idea? I don't understand that at all. You can't fix any of this for him. He has to decide what's best for him. That is why I suggested stepping down from the "Ms. Fix It" parenting role and just be supportive. He isn't depressed just to upset you, you know. He's likely suffering, so while I understand it's hard for you to see, it's not about you.

You don't need to "suggest therapy". I would word it more like "It worries me when you talk about not wanting to be here anymore. You know I love you and that's why I worry. Do you really feel like life isn't worth living?" Give him a chance to respond. If he shuts down or refuses to discuss it, say something like "I understand you aren't comfortable talking about this with me. I just hope you choose to find other ways of dealing with the stress you're under. I know there are people you can talk to and I hope that's what you choose to do." Your go to seems to be "suggesting" he do this or that. Instead of controlling behaviors, try to be more supportive.

You "know" this? Why not at least try? And I completely disagree with pushing him toward pharmacy. If he wanted to be a pharmacist he would be one.

First off, if he's truly suicidal he's beyond your ability to help. He needs immediate assistance from trained professionals. Please tell him you're concerned and that you hope he chooses to get some help if he is indeed to the point of contemplating harming himself. Second, if he doesn't want to be a pharmacist it would seem insensitive to tell him you think he should be one. Maybe it seems like the perfect solution to you, but if that's what he wanted he would have pursued it on his own. You telling him to be a pharmacist could feel like another rejection and I don't think he needs that right now. What you could do is reassure him you're on his side and you will support him emotionally, whatever he chooses, and that you aren't going anywhere.

She just wasn't the right one for you. Someone who's more suited for you wouldn't have minded. At least you won't waste anymore time on this woman. There are plenty more out there.

When I was a LOT younger I kissed some guys who I didn't really feel that attracted to. I even did it once in my late 30s, when I was really trying to like this one man but I just wasn't feeling it. We even went to his apartment and did a little more than just kiss and that was what cemented it for me. I just didn't feel attracted to him. We stopped dating and he went on with his life and so did I. There was nothing wrong with him, he and I just weren't right for one another. (I had actually totally forgotten about that guy. He's the only one I would classify as someone I was "dating" as in, he asked me out on dates.)

I've been sleeping really well lately, so I got cocky and didn't take anything to help me sleep last night. So naturally I only got three hours of sleep, and today is an office day. Today is going to suck. I do enjoy hearing the fog horn. Some people complain about it but it just reminds me of how close I get to live to the ocean. So I love hearing it.

My cousin always made chili with beans. It makes me fart so I didn't eat it. She never complained to other family members or acted wounded because I didn't eat any. Several of my cousins give me candy for Christmas. With nuts. I can't eat it. I don't get offended, I just laugh and then give the candy away. And they don't sit there watching to see if I open the box and eat it. That would be weird.