boltnrun

I think I may be working on a migraine. My vision is not it's normal self and I feel dizzy and fatigued. Right now it's at the numb stage. I know from experience once the numbness wears off the pain starts. I'm working in the office today so hopefully it holds off until I get home. In nine hours lol.

Well, that was a bad idea as you now know. Go in and tell her you have accepted another position and will be leaving in one week. Remove her business from your social media account and notify her you are doing so. Ask for your final paycheck to be ready in one week. Don't burn any bridges as you may need a reference in the future. I'm glad the new job seems to be going well.

I get that you love to bake, but as I mentioned before I am charged with bringing desserts to the family Christmas gathering. I don't slave away making special desserts for my vegan niece, nor do I make sugar free dessert for myself! I buy them. Easy peasy. My niece doesn't always eat what I bring, so I just leave it for her to take home if she wants. I recommend you buy gluten free or whatever next time. And I agree, she isn't mandated to eat what you bring. I don't eat everything at my family gatherings, simply because sometimes I don't feel like eating this or that. It's not a personal slam against whoever made it.

I don't know what's up, but I really struggled to get up this morning. I did get the same amount of sleep I usually do (about 6 1/4 hours) but I just didn't want to get up. I feel like I could sleep for several more hours. Yesterday I was out walking and I got overcome with dizziness. I stumbled forward completely unable to control my speed or direction. It was scary. I still feel dizzy.

This thread is two years old.

This is the guy you told your family had raped you? This guy? https://www.enotalone.com/topic/459383-should-i-get-back-with-this-guy/#comment-5855010

It suits their agenda to claim the eclipse is a punishment from God. Of course it's a political agenda. God wants to punish the US so he sends an eclipse to the entire planet. Alrighty then!

The first time I had sex (by which I mean intercourse), I was 18 and so was the guy. We were in the back seat of his Volkswagen bug so not much space or comfort. There was a lot of "Wait, my arm's stuck. Ouch, you're on my hair. Oops, sorry, didn't mean to jab you with my elbow". It was like slapstick comedy. So, was it "good"? Perhaps not, but I look back on it fondly. It's a fun memory even though neither of us knew what the heck we were doing.

I'm trying to figure out why this eclipse is supposed to be a punishment from God. How exactly are we being punished? It's not going away forever 🙄

I agree with @rainbowsandroses. His "Oh, I'm such a shy guy who has no luck with girls" schtick worked like a charm. I bet he uses that line on all his vacations. After all, a shy guy wouldn't be getting on Hinge during a vacation (read: searching for hookups). Pursuing this vacation fling won't improve your dating situation at home. So I would work on that. See what you can do to meet new people.

I posted something on my social media profile about how yesterday was such a pretty day and how I appreciate the lovely neighborhood I live in. My cousin replied complaining about how high the taxes are here. Thanks for killing my buzz, Cousin 🙄

The young man who lives in the home behind my apartment (same complex) just knocked on my door to ask me if I wanted him to add some soil to the potted plant I have on my doorstep. It was super windy a few days ago and the plant fell over and actually fell out of the pot. I put it back but it lost some soil and I don't have anymore. He said he noticed it had fallen over and since he had some extra potting soil he thought my plant could use it. What a nice young man! I said yes and thanked him for being so nice and considerate. He also offered me some plant pots he's not using. I told him I will buy some more plants and take him up on his offer. This is yet another reason I do not and will never buy into the mindset of "Everyone's an a-hole, everyone's just out for themselves, no one cares about anyone but themselves" because I keep getting proof the world has a lot of nice people in it 🙂

If I never stepped outside of my comfort zone I'd still be huddled on my couch in the fetal position too frightened to step foot outside because of my Covid based anxiety. I would never have taken a job that required me to speak in front of groups when I truly feared doing so, which means I would have lost out on another great job I had for six years. I wouldn't have gone along when some coworkers I barely knew invited me to join them only out of politeness, which means I wouldn't have made my dear friend who I truly cherish. If you feel that uncomfortable you can always excuse yourself early by saying you have to attend to something at home.

Do you make a deliberate effort to watch what he does inside his apartment?

Reread your post and I understand better. Yes, I would have reached out if I wanted to see him again. I would not (and have not) play "games" or do "tests" on men. I prefer to be direct. I find it's much easier and takes much less time when I just ask for what I want. As in "I'd like to see you again. I'm available this weekend for lunch. Are you interested in joining me?" He'd either say yes, no or he'd ask to get back to me. If he didn't get back to me I just moved on. BTW, as I've mentioned several times I've never dated (as in, used a dating site or been asked out on a date). I would meet men in my daily life, he or I would suggest getting together outside of the event or we'd spend time together afterward and we'd either start seeing one another regularly or we wouldn't. What helped a lot with this is I was involved in a sports activity as support staff. There were literally 15 men for every woman and many of those men were single. I was newly divorced so it was very easy for me to meet these men and I had their attention because an unmarried woman in that arena was so very rare. That's why I recommend women who struggle to meet men to go to the places where the men are (not feign interest though as that has its own set of issues).

I ended up moving back after several years, BTW. I missed my family too much. Do you know how many times I've contacted him since I got back? Zero. Zilch. I don't want or need toxicity in my life.

Kim, I met two of my closest friends when they and a couple other coworkers went out to eat after work. The story is, one of my coworkers asked me if the wings place nearby was open 24 hours (she asked me because I drove past it on my way home every morning). It was. Then, because she's a nice young lady, she politely invited me to join her and the other coworkers. I understood she was only asking me to be polite but I decided to go ahead and go. We all hit it off and had a really fun time. After that me and two of them started hanging out outside of work more and more frequently. And now one of them is my best friend (after my lifelong bestie) and the other one and I are good friends too.

Well, my way to "deal" with tests and games is to walk away. Homie don't play that lol!

And that was what made me realize my relationship was toxic. I didn't feel like myself. I thought getting him to love me would make it all better. It wasn't until the relationship was over that I realized the relationship was CAUSING my issues. "Getting" him to love me wasn't the solution, quite the opposite. I can't even describe how absolutely freeing that realization was. I didn't get it right immediately, BTW. I was still doing things that were bad for me. I actually went to the extreme of moving 400 miles away so it was no longer possible to do late night or early morning drive bys or visit his family and friends looking for signs his new relationship was failing. And once I was gone it was like a huge weight was lifted. And I could finally SEE. The noise inside my head that had been telling me the only answer was to lure him back to me was silenced. It was such a wonderful feeling. Like my signature line says, the cause of the pain is NEVER the cure for the pain.

If some guy wants to "test" me I'm outta there. I ain't got no time for that BS! He's welcome to ask me questions like an adult.

Why is your self esteem low, why do you no longer have a "busy lifestyle" and why don't you still have lots of friends? I was cheated on by my toxic ex and while it made me feel pretty terrible DURING the relationship it certainly didn't damage my self-esteem after it was over. I continued seeing friends and I was just as busy with work and activities as I always had been. I'd be g*ddamned if I was going to let that guy destroy me.

What I mean is, I didn't have to "get there" with my husband. I knew pretty much from jump he wouldn't treat me poorly. If I suspected he might I wouldn't have entered into a relationship with him. Getting into the relationship and then "hoping" it becomes a good, loving and secure relationship is backwards IMO. And I broke that boundary big time with my toxic ex. He loved on me like crazy at first, but it was pretty apparent early on that he really liked attention from females and wouldn't stop seeking it or encouraging it even if he was in a relationship. Shoot, he pursued me while he was in a relationship with someone else! That should have been a glaring red flag, but I was so flattered that this good-looking younger athlete seemed to want me. I went all in BEFORE fully vetting him and that was stupid. I won't do that ever again.

What I base my decision on is...how do I feel in this relationship? Do I feel safe, loved, comfortable, respected and secure? Or do I feel anxious, fearful of what "might" happen, degraded, helpless or powerless? And to me it doesn't matter if I know for sure what's causing my bad feelings. But like I mentioned before, when I was in a relationship with a good man I didn't feel the bad feelings. I could get annoyed, sure, but that's normal when two people are frequently interacting or share living quarters. But with my husband, for example? I NEVER feared he would cheat. I NEVER saw or heard anything that made me doubt he was with me because he wanted to be or caused me to think he might have his eyes on anyone else. He never looked in my handbag and I never looked in his wallet (no cell phones back then!). We had trust. To me, if there's no trust there can be no relationship. Period.

It was 55 degrees inside my apartment when I woke up this morning. Yikes! Should be a nice day. I have to go to the bank but I also want to spend a lot of time outdoors.

Oops! Crushes can be fun, but it's important to realize it's a crush and not reality. Are there any nice young men at your school who you might like to date?