boltnrun

I agree, he's not "forgetting" to seek help. He's either hoping it goes away by itself or he's hoping YOU forget about it. Which is not realistic. Burying one's head in the sand is not an effective method to treat medical conditions. If he CHOOSES to continue to refuse (yes, refuse) treatment you are well within your rights to also choose to step away. As I said before, you count too. BTW, while I have a hard time believing anyone would willingly choose to be mentally ill, sometimes the core issues are so disturbing they would rather they remain buried. My depression and anxiety were deeply rooted in my horrific childhood. Digging into those memories isn't fun. But neither is being mentally ill. I keep using the analogy of cancer. Treatment for cancer is no picnic but when the alternative is no longer being alive people make the hard choices.

As a person suffering from severe mental illness I would not respond well to an ultimatum or to being told to put on my "big girl pants". It would make me feel even worse, like being depressed is my fault (would you say the same thing if your partner was diagnosed with cancer?) I've had well meaning people make jokes in an attempt to get me to "lighten up", and I've had people tell me that others have it worse. Or tell me "What do YOU have to be depressed about??" None of that motivated me to seek help. I had to decide that on my own. Now, with the new information you provided about him self medicating with alcohol, I do think expressing concern about that is not out of line. I would personally respond better to something like "I'm concerned about you. I've seen you drink as a way to deal with stress and I feel that's not healthy. I do care about you but I'm struggling with seeing you not doing well. It's affecting me in a negative way. I think stepping away to allow you a chance to get healthy is what's best for me."

If he's truly depressed it's much worse than anyone can imagine. It's not just having a down day or feeling sad for a bit. It's profound, deep seeded despair beyond description. He can't snap out of it and you can't make him "lighten up". I have depression and have been in treatment for almost four years. I can't even fathom trying to be in a relationship anytime soon. If he was being treated for cancer, something you could see, perhaps you would see it differently. However, it's fair for you to feel you aren't up to being in a relationship with someone who's profoundly depressed. You count too, you know! If you can't see yourself remaining with him while he attempts to deal with his medical condition (which it is) you are well within your rights to gently tell him you are stepping away from the relationship.

I'm doing my first registered 5k! On Mother's Day weekend. I'm going to start training this week by increasing the pace of my walking. My goal is to finish the 5K in under an hour.

Where I live you are required to clock out for lunch no later than 4 hours and 59 minutes after you clock in (obviously this only applies to hourly employees). I understand the reasoning but I find it super annoying. However, since I am permitted to eat at my desk I can snack throughout the day. So it's not that I have to eat at a certain time but that I have to clock out by a certain time. But this event is going to not only support a good cause but it can't be considered working. It'll be fun. So I'll go ahead and do it as long as my manager doesn't object to me being unavailable during that hour.

When you're younger what others think is much more important than when you get older. I went to bars by myself all the time and I'm a woman (apparently it's just okie dokie for a man to go to bars by himself...). A former coworker saw me there and asked his buddy in a LOUD voice "Why is she here by herself?" I just laughed to myself and kept going to the bar by myself. What he said was more about him than it was about me. You'll probably never see that girl again. Don't let what some stranger you'll never see again said get you down.

Nothing disappears forever. Those messages can be restored if you really need them to be. In the meantime, stop responding to her and make sure to block any and all unknown entities from contacting you. Don't open anything that doesn't come from a known and trusted source. I'd temporarily disable all social media accounts as well. Change your number (yes, you can, it's easy). As for how you feel, I too was in a long-ish relationship with a terrible person. I have had a hard time forgiving myself for having such low self esteem that I would not only allow myself to be mistreated but I actually thought I loved this person. But what I did is not unforgivable. I didn't harm others, only myself. So I just had to tell myself "yeah, that sucked but I will never allow that to happen ever again". You can move forward from this.

Is it "normal" for a parent to not be interested in providing for their child? Well, I wouldn't call it "normal" but it's sadly more common than one might think. Especially if they're allowed to get away with it. He needs to abide by the child support agreement at the very least. And I would hope if he sees his son doing without because you're struggling, he'd willingly step in to help. But perhaps not.

For his own child? That's mind boggling. However, my "father" didn't pay child support for me and my brother, so I guess some parents don't feel that sense of responsibility for their own children. Getting financial advice is always a good idea. Perhaps your BIL will have some good ideas.

My son was in college when I chose to move out of state and he still felt abandoned. Please reconsider. My son's dad would kick in more $ if I was struggling. He knew everything was for our child, not for me. Can your son's dad provide more to help you out?

Why would you "confront" someone you've never met? She is the one who refuses to meet you in person. I'm not sure why you think she would be upset if you two stopped communicating.

Again, never said that. I won't argue with you. Have a good evening.

I always eat at my desk. I take a 30 minute lunch and always bring my lunch. I do have to clock out for lunch which makes it more difficult. I can take my lunch earlier than usual but it's not ideal. It's just strange they think everyone works 8-5 when pretty much no one in my department does. We all come in between 6:00 and 7:00 am. But I can adjust my schedule this one time to attend this event.

It's ironic that you state you don't know why girls don't go for you, then immediately follow that with an off-putting statement. You also ignored that my husband was 20 years old when he got his first kiss (from me). But that doesn't align with your narrative. Oh, it's "anecdotal".

But you're not ugly. You said you're a perfect physical specimen. I met my husband when he was 20. He had never kissed a girl and he was in a rock band.

And I get it. We're supposed to be kind and encouraging and not tell you you're the problem or blame you in any way. So we don't get accused of being insensitive or mean. So, you go, Champ! You can do it!

I've found the best way to get what I want is to ask. I read this somewhere: "A winner is just a loser who tried one more time." Just because one young lady said no doesn't mean ALL of them will say no. Are there any young ladies you've seen recently that you like?

My company is hosting an event that's a fundraiser for autism awareness. Which is awesome. But they always schedule things as though everyone works 8-5 and takes lunch from 12-1. I work 6:30-3:00 and I take lunch from 11:15-11:45. I can't go any later because of state laws and if I go too early I risk going over 5 hours in the afternoon. They scheduled the event from 11-12 🙄. So I either have to take lunch super early or show up at the event late which I don't want to do. But I guess I'll just have to clock in after lunch and haul butt downstairs to the event and hope it doesn't start right on time.

I think you should be upfront with him rather than hope you two will "grow apart".

I'm not seeing "humble" from what you wrote. What happened the last few times you asked a lady for a date?

Have fun! BTW, my grandfather was a hottie with curly jet black hair and green eyes. Sadly, while I got the curly black hair I did not get the green eyes.

Can you describe yourself? I mean more specifics than you're perfect or you're fabulous or you're nice.

Our parents usually mean well but what worked for them may not work for us. For example, years ago there were two interns at my job, both college students. The young lady intern was working to put herself through school because her parents refused to help her financially. Her mother said "Why do you need a college degree to get married and have babies?" And the young man intern was also working to put himself through school. His dad told him "Oh, you think you're better than me, don't you? Being a mechanic is fine for me but you think you're too good for that!" The young lady was studying engineering and the young man was double majoring in engineering and pre-law. You would think their parents would be proud but instead they were upset. The parents thought their children were looking down on them because they wanted different things for themselves. I never got a college degree, but I'm proud my son has one. In short, you have every right to choose your own life and your own partner. If you and your current boyfriend don't want the same things it's fine for you to decide you aren't compatible. And there are plenty of good men who will appreciate a woman like you.

Never said that. I said that works for me. For me. In fact, I even applauded you for living your life the way you see fit.