boltnrun

I've never been abroad but my former roommate moved from Turkey fo the US. She made many friends in her English language class. She also met her boyfriend there. Perhaps taking some classes would help you to meet new people.

I'm glad you found a source of comfort (the stone and your friend). As for the smoking, sure, you might not be smoking in front of your kids but you are putting yourself into the position of becoming very sick. EVERY person who smokes ends up with health issues, from COPD to lung cancer. My FIL died of cancer 20 years after he quit smoking! I'm sure you want to be there for your kids, so please consider a method to quit.

Do something this weekend with a friend, cousin or sister. Do NOT spend the day in bed! Even if the last thing you feel like doing is going out, go out anyway. Ask your friend to promise not to let you go on about your ex. Ask them to say "I understand, but we're going to talk about something else". Do something fun that you have always enjoyed or try something new. Just do something, anything, other than lie in bed. And happy belated birthday to you. Oh, and just so you know? I got dumped by a guy I swore was "the love of my life who I'll love FOREVER!!!!!111" Well, I didn't and I don't. He never crosses my mind unless I write about him on this forum or something reminds me of him and it doesn't even hurt. I don't love him anymore. Oh and another story...I had been dumped (by a different guy). I had planned to spend the one year anniversary of him dumping me in bed all day. Well, I ended up not doing that because I was out with my new boyfriend! You'll get there, I promise.

100% true. I had a friend who had a friend she regarded as her sister. They had been extremely close pretty much their entire lives. She really liked a guy and her friend/sister said "I'm gonna kiss him just because I'm curious." My friend was horrified, sad, felt terribly betrayed...I don't think they were ever as close after that. I agree that just conducting yourself in a professional manner is the best course of action. Who knows what's up with her. If she ever decides to tell you, you can decide if you want to listen.

Oh, she was depressed!!! Yeah, so depressed she spent a week partying at the beach and in bars while her precious baby starved to death. No sympathy from me for this selfish woman.

Evil, evil woman. So tragic and horrifying. Some people should never have children. https://youtu.be/aHR56_ipYO8?si=ysUHUuo3QQhL2rU3

Where did you two meet before?

Yep, this annoyed me just a bit. I sent an email to the two (male) coworkers in my department, letting them know I would be bringing in a cake for our manager's birthday this week. And both of them emailed back "Great! I'm in!" But neither of them asked "Is there anything I can bring?" (Sexist comment to follow)...almost every woman I know would've asked. I guess it didn't even occur to them to ask.

I would wonder what happens when the 18-25 year old woman ages out of her alleged "most desirable" timeframe. Would the man be motivated to exchange her for a younger woman? This happened to a good friend of mine actually. When she reached age 50 her husband started having affairs with much younger women (and took ten years off of his own age). He didn't want a 50 year old wife. His new wife is now approaching 40. I wonder if he will attempt to trade her in once she too reaches age 50. My brother will not date anyone under age 48. He's not interested in a woman who is much younger. I wouldn't want to date younger either. When I quote a song or movie I don't want to see a blank stare. Listen to "Hey 19" by Steely Dan.

Good and bad experiences at the grocery store today. Bad = female stocker coughed right on me. Made no attempt to turn away or cover her mouth. I know I gave her a look. She walked back past and said "good morning", probably being a smartass because I gave her a look. I didn't reply because if I had I would have said "Eff you, Miss Rude Germ Spreader". I thought it was best to keep quiet. Good = young lady checker with the neck and face tattoos who was a nice as could be (and I'm sure she gets a lot of flack due to her tattoos which is why I mention them). I had selected a sugar free pie that had no price label (this happens to me more times that I can count) and I asked her if I should go back and get one with a price label. And she said "No, you're good" and let me have it for free! This was a $7.99 pie so not cheap. And she didn't charge me for the plastic grocery bag either. I did tell her I hope she has a nice rest of her day because she was so sweet.

I live right on the coast (West coast of the US) and it's the same here, cold mornings and then absolutely lovely afternoons and evenings. I understand Atlanta is a lovely city. I hope you enjoy your stay.

There's a vast difference between being forced to engage in intercourse and feeling regret afterward because you agreed to have intercourse. Can you please clarify if he forced you (by using physical force or threats) or if you agreed but regretted it afterward?

I agree. If I decline a date invitation and don't either suggest another day or say something like "but another time would be great" it means "thanks for asking, but no".

Thank you. I was feeling better yesterday so of course I overdid it. Regressed a bit today but not as bad. This is the current weather report. I literally just went outside and it's pouring. I wish I had a job that paid that well and allowed me to be wrong more than 50% of the time.

She has no interest in this. She's very much a "my way or the highway" sort. She apparently was married to a man who (according to her amateur Google diagnosis) had BPD. So maybe that's why she developed her current mindset. She says she absolutely HATES being single but she's not willing to compromise on anything, so... I never wanted to get married ever again, but I am absolutely willing to compromise and listen to my partner's POV. And, especially in areas where I have limited knowledge, I will let my partner take the reins. I am fine with letting them put together a piece of furniture because I suck at that. And while he's doing that I'll go into the kitchen and whip up some chicken enchiladas or a snack of avocado toast with grilled shrimp, garlic and shallots. If I ever dated I would appreciate a man who celebrated both our individualities while also being willing to enjoy each other doing things we both like or are willing to do to benefit the other one. I can't go deep sea fishing or on a cruise (for example) because I get horribly seasick (and anti-seasick medication makes me fall asleep) but I can go lake fishing or on a lake boat tour or go kayaking or whitewater rafting.

I know I've mentioned before I know someone who exclusively dates passive, submissive men because, she says, if she dated strong, confident men she might not always get her own way. And she wants to get her own way 100% of the time. She has zero interest in compromising. Interestingly, she has been single for many years. Maybe she hasn't had much luck finding a man who will let her completely run the show all the time.

I slept almost 8 full hours last night. I NEVER sleep that much. I know I needed it after being sick for two solid weeks.

To me, "courting" is doing things for the other person to make them feel happy and show you care about them and want a future with them. It's not doing things to impress them or to get them to like YOU.

A pic of me at about age 34. I cropped my ex out of the photo because I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate being put on blast. My waistline doesn't look like that anymore! And yes, I had given birth, albeit about 10 years earlier. I was back in my regular jeans one week after I had my baby. I only gained 22 pounds the entire pregnancy, not by choice or on purpose! I just didn't gain. I weigh the same now as I did when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant. I was probably about 110 pounds in this photo. Sigh...

Oh no, you didn't say that! I meant, in my life every time I mention I'm divorced someone says "oh, I'm so sorry, he's a scumbag for leaving you!!" I find it interesting.

My (ex) husband bought me a car when I was too poor to buy one for myself. And this was when we were just BF/GF, not even engaged. I would consider that being "court-like". Because he cared enough to want to help me. Sure, some might say he did it to keep the booty coming. But I don't think so.

I actually divorced him. I do find it interesting that most people assume he left me, but it was the opposite. I won't get into the why's but suffice to say we were unsuited for marriage to one another. And we gave it a good try. Fifteen years isn't a fly by night or short term marriage. We share one child. And yes, he's a terrific father. He has always absolutely adored that boy and there is nothing he wouldn't do for him. And I told our son constantly his dad loves him. Because he does. I can't stand it when parents use the kids as weapons against one another. Shameful. I have a friend who has a child as a result of an affair with a married man. He has never met his child and doesn't give her a penny to help support the child. He has two children with his wife and another child as a result of another affair. He's a crappy father and I feel for his kids. That's part of the reason why I caution people against attaching themselves to anyone who has a pulse and who gives them a tiny bit of attention. Be choosy!

I'm missing almost two feet of my colon. Not from cancer but another disease. I know someone who has no colon at all as she had to have it surgically removed. It causes some issues but we're both still here!

I married my husband intending it to be for life. I was extremely sad when it ended. I didn't go into it thinking I could always just get a divorce. I loved thinking he and I could be married for more than 60 years! Unfortunately, the person who I believed was right for me at age 19 turned out to not be right when I was in my 30s. And vice versa. Our differences, which we brushed aside, turned out to be insurmountable. But he's a good man, decent and hard working. And he's a terrific father, so I feel I chose well in that department.

Wasn't she in a relationship when you met? I'm not sure why you think she was into you when she was committed to someone else. You can wait around hoping something happens with her. Or you can truly decide to see who else might be out there. Not comparing to her, but giving a different woman a chance to know you.