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boltnrun

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Everything posted by boltnrun

  1. I actually divorced him. I do find it interesting that most people assume he left me, but it was the opposite. I won't get into the why's but suffice to say we were unsuited for marriage to one another. And we gave it a good try. Fifteen years isn't a fly by night or short term marriage. We share one child. And yes, he's a terrific father. He has always absolutely adored that boy and there is nothing he wouldn't do for him. And I told our son constantly his dad loves him. Because he does. I can't stand it when parents use the kids as weapons against one another. Shameful. I have a friend who has a child as a result of an affair with a married man. He has never met his child and doesn't give her a penny to help support the child. He has two children with his wife and another child as a result of another affair. He's a crappy father and I feel for his kids. That's part of the reason why I caution people against attaching themselves to anyone who has a pulse and who gives them a tiny bit of attention. Be choosy!
  2. I'm missing almost two feet of my colon. Not from cancer but another disease. I know someone who has no colon at all as she had to have it surgically removed. It causes some issues but we're both still here!
  3. I married my husband intending it to be for life. I was extremely sad when it ended. I didn't go into it thinking I could always just get a divorce. I loved thinking he and I could be married for more than 60 years! Unfortunately, the person who I believed was right for me at age 19 turned out to not be right when I was in my 30s. And vice versa. Our differences, which we brushed aside, turned out to be insurmountable. But he's a good man, decent and hard working. And he's a terrific father, so I feel I chose well in that department.
  4. Wasn't she in a relationship when you met? I'm not sure why you think she was into you when she was committed to someone else. You can wait around hoping something happens with her. Or you can truly decide to see who else might be out there. Not comparing to her, but giving a different woman a chance to know you.
  5. Yes, but that was all AFTER an in person connection had already been made. I can't get connected like that to someone I've never met in person.
  6. And don't feel like you have to cringe or hide from him or stop going to the events if he politely says no. I've been turned down and I just kept attending the events I met the guys at. It was fine.
  7. I mean, I am on this forum a lot (mainly today because I'm trying to avoid a big work project... don't worry, I will get it done on time πŸ˜†) and I don't feel like I'm in some sort of relationship with anyone else who posts on here. And honestly, I don't feel any emotional attachment to anyone on here either other than hoping everyone is doing well or is doing better than they were when they first posted their issue. I can't get emotionally attached to anyone over an electronic device. πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ
  8. Several men have posted on here that they will not ask a woman out unless she gives them clear, obvious and blatant signals she wants him to. They're so afraid of being turned down ("rejected", as they term it) they just won't do it. And then they wonder why they've reached the age of 28/34/whatever and have never been out on a date. I'm not afraid, so I have suggested to men before that we go out. I've been turned down but guess what? We all survived. And every single one of them said they liked my approach and if they hadn't already been dating someone else they would have said "yes". I guess I don't understand this fear of "rejection". I have been told "no" in many situations, so I just tried again. I saw a quote somewhere..."A winner is a loser who tried one more time." I love it. Oh, and I also find it amusing when men assert that women are constantly being approached by men and they get all kinds of attention and therefore they can afford to be super nitpicky. Where were all these men when I was younger? Now, I did get a lot of attention in my 30s but that was because I participated in an activity where it was literally 90% men. Scarcity inflates value.
  9. My poor cousin. She confided in me but I wonder if it was even worse than she told me. And my poor godchild. Stuck alone with a dad who wants to chase booty. I fear he's either going to be exposed to random women or he'll be left at home alone while his dad goes out and tries to get laid. I can't afford to take him in (and I'm far beyond child rearing age). I am hoping my fears don't actually happen and I'm worrying over nothing.
  10. Do you miss him specifically or do you miss the attention?
  11. It could be anything such as colon, liver, pancreatic. I'm sorry to hear that.
  12. I find cooking relaxing πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ After a long day I get to be creative in the kitchen. I've lived alone for a thousand years and I still create home cooked meals for myself. Someday when I'm ready to meet a nice man, maybe he'll appreciate my cooking. That old saying..."the way to a man's heart is through his stomach". My mother believed this although she was an average at best cook. And she was the daughter of a professional chef! (Grandpa, not Grandma).
  13. He did worse things than being disrespectful to his wife's memory. I won't detail what he did for privacy reasons but trust me, what he did was vile. And he convinced her to participate, which I am having a really hard time dealing with. Sad thing is, my cousin's disabled brother is being left behind by this guy. He adores his nephew but isn't able to see him unless his dad brings him to visit (which he won't do due to the aforementioned worse thing). My brother, another cousin and I will be taking him out to lunch in a couple of weeks. He needs to know he's loved and will not be forgotten.
  14. I was not able to eat an ice cream cone while driving stick shift. I tried.
  15. I see what you did there πŸ˜‰ I always preferred stick shift. That way I get to decide when the transmission shifted, not some computer. My current car is an automatic but while it's easy to drive it's a bit boring.
  16. <Takes deep breath> My cousin's widower. Posts on Facebook that he doesn't care if people like it or not, he's moving on with his life. It was a whopping month since she died. Guess he was over it. And now he's posting bikini pics of social media personalities he apparently finds attractive. It's been five months since his wife died, so I guess he feels making these posts public is just fine and he doesn't care what we, her family, think. He was actively trying to cheat on her during the marriage by joining dating sites and posting on "swinging" Facebook groups looking to participate without his wife's knowledge or agreement. He also sent me a "d" pic. This guy is a POS. I'm trying to not get upset out of respect for my cousin but honestly? I find it disrespectful to say the least. If I wasn't my cousin's child's godmother I would unfriend and cut the guy off permanently.
  17. A former coworker told me I should always have sex with a guy on the first date. That way, she said, I would know right away if he was good in bed and if he wasn't I wouldn't waste anymore time dating him. πŸ˜†πŸ™„
  18. He cheats. And you two have opposing views on politics and morals. You don't like the state he lives in and wouldn't want to relocate there. Other than "but I LOVE him", what is holding you to this man?
  19. I only saw him on weekends due to work, distance and child custody. I couldn't wait for the weekend for him to come replace the battery as I had to get to work, take my son to activities, etc. It would have been impractical for me to wait for him. And I feel differently about that anyway.
  20. What if she rebuilds the engine? One of my former coworkers was telling me about the alternator in her car going out. So she went to the parts store, bought the appropriate part, removed the one that wasn't working and installed the new one. Bingo! Problem solved. She said her dad taught her and her sister how to work on their own cars because he said (correctly) that most of the cost of car repairs is the labor, so he wanted them to be able to just do it themselves. I was in a relationship with a man and at one point he battery in my car went out. So I bought a new one and replaced it (I'm sure you know how easy it is to do). Well, this guy got all bent out of shape. He's the man, he said, and I should have let him do it. So when I got a different car and that car's battery went dead, he bought a new one and installed it. But he did it incorrectly (forgot to reinstall the pan it sat on) so he had to uninstall it and reinstall it. He was embarrassed and I was annoyed. Just let me do it next time, wanker! My (female) cousin worked at a car repair shop, doing actual mechanic work (she wasn't the secretary). Some men found that off-putting. Weird, huh? And some men found it a turn on that I can drive stick shift. Also weird!
  21. I think it's important to teach (and learn) what I call Mick Jagger wisdom..."you can't always get what you want". "But I WANT him/her!!" and refusing to accept that sometimes the person we like just doesn't like us back is so off putting and a huge time waster. Yes, it's disappointing. Sure, sometimes it hurts. But we need to dust ourselves off and get back on the horse. As for "courting"...I remember being advised to showcase what a good cook I am to entice a man to want to marry me πŸ˜†. That was drilled in so much (along with how important it is to create nourishing meals for children) that I still have a knee-jerk negative reaction whenever someone says they "can't" cook. (Yes, you can. Anyone can. You just choose not to). I wonder if men find a woman who's a good cook enticing.
  22. Does that actually work? My friend who had sex with guys on the first "date" never heard from them again. I know this happened to her many times.
  23. Are you doing anything to meet other women? Solely focusing on this woman doesn't seem to be productive. I get that you really like her but there are other women you could meet who you'd really like too.
  24. I'm going to do it. I'm going to sign up for a 5k. I think I'll do one in May, before it gets too hot but far enough away so I can be sure to be trained and ready. I can easily walk 5k (around 3 miles) already but I want to be a little faster. I can't run so it'll have to be a brisk walk. I still feel like crap, but I'll just ignore that.
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