lovinhim

If the pain is so great, and you are just getting over it, I would do the NC. Seeing her is only going to bring it back... I wish I could give more advice, but I don't know what else to say... Maybe closure to it would do you good as well though. Meet her, get your stuff back and you will know the relationship is over. Good luck

Meaning slept with someone, is what a male/female refers to as score.

Hi, I think you should give him an ultimatium. Tell him that you love him and want to be with him, however you can't put up with his drinking and that if he wants to have a relationship with you, he needs to check himself into rehab. Alcholism is dangerous and I have an uncle that died from liver disease b/c he drank too much when he was younger. At least that is what the dr's have stated. I think if he says he doesn't /won't go to rehab that you should go your own way. You grew up with that and life is too short to be in misery. I too am 28 and have a small child. I wouldn't want his dad to be drinking all the time. People don't have a clue what they are doing when they are drunk and some become abusive. If you want children, You DON'T want your child to grow up with a dad like that. Life is toooooo short!!

I have sent you a private message. It is still showing in my outbox, just wanted to see if you got it. Let me know

Yes it would be very difficult to have a relationship with my spouse with the other man involved. Thanks for all your advice.I'm working on relieving myself from it. Take care.

I think that is the sweetest post I have ever read about you and your love for your wife. I don't know your whole story, but it sounds to me like you two watched porn and are regretting it? Did you two watch it together any? My boyfriend and I experience the same feelings we he or I have an orgasm and it's it one of closest times you can really read their soul. It's almost hard to imagaine getting any closer to someone. I wish you two many more loving nights together.

Maybe it would help if the two of you watched it together sometimes and got more open with it. My boyfriend told me when I met him he watched porn, at the time it didn't really bother me, but then I had to open myself up to that some because that is what he likes. Would be the same if I liked to listen to jazz music , I would hope he would learn to like it. It's a very touchy subject either way, but a lot of couples use it in their sex lives.

I know, everytime I have communication with my lover, he brings me down for some reason. I almost went into depression a couple of weeks ago and had to fight my way out of it. I could never tell my husband I have/am having an affair. We have a child and I can not/ will not loose my child. I see my lover at work only and occasionally we meet some where. I agree with you, I do need some therapy for this. This man that I am seeing is an honest /loving man. He has become controlling of me and pulls himself from me when he sees me talking to another man here at the office. It's just soooooo hard.

I love my job. I really do. I have it made here. Him being my boss does not help anything. It makes it worse. And there is a part of me that wants his wife to know he loves me and not her. I know that sounds totally off the wall, but I can't help it.

Well, I am new to the forum. I am just looking for advice. Here's my story. I started a new job three years ago. Was lonesome, and in a bad relationship.Shorlty after starting my new job, there was a man who said all the right things and did all the right things. He began to tell me he loved me. And my feelings for him became apparent that I too was falling in love with him. We talked on the phone for hours. And he made me so happy. The problem is both he and I are married. I have been involved with him now for about 2 1/2 years. I feel bad. We both have the understanding that neither of us will ever leave our spouse. Well I probaley would, but he wouldn't. He says his wife is his responsibilty. And I know I am the other woman and he will never love me as much as he loves his wife. But he seems to think he loves me more. I once told him I thought she was lucky, she was the one he came home to, he said you are th lucky one-you are the one I love. Well, now he doesn't really spend any time with me and I know that he could if he wanted to. We work together, in fact he is my boss. My problem is letting go, b/c I don't really want to. I do love him and I am in love with him. But I don't want to hurt anymore. [/i]