litoosh743

This is "All Cried out" recently covered by Fink, original words by Alison Moyet. Quick, easy and fullfilling healing for all of us, lets all find ourselves again eh? xxx All Cried Out You took your time to come back this time The grass has grown under your feet In your absense I changed my mind And someone else is sitting in your seat I know that I said that there'd be no-one else I know that I said I'd be true But baby - I burned Cupid's arrow And here's the short and narrow I've nothing left to offer you 'Cause I'm all cried out You took a whole lot of loving for a handful of nothing All cried out It's hard to give you something when You're pushing and shoving me around So don't look surprised there was no disguise You know where I stood from the start So stop - look around you You're right back where I found you Take back your cold and empty heart You go your way I'll go mine I won't stay around here Don't waste my time All cried out...

Hello, i must say, this is my exact same problem....i'm seeing a shrink because of it now and it is slowly getting me to finding my strength to shake myself out of it....didn't see him for 9 months, knew he had a girlfriend....but still could not stop thinking of him and i was so so tired of it... and yes, what you said about this article i think just reading that this problem actually exists made me feel so free...its like if he doesn't want me then i'm forever damaged goods....or something, i'm sure you understand what i mean...anyway, sweetie, after nine months i met up with him, and felt, right this is my chance to prove to him that i'm the best there is ... i'm so ashamed to say, i tried to prove to him for 9 months, not as his girlfriend, only! strictly! for sex, i'm not saying i didn't enjoy it, and that it wasn't my choice, but still, i just wanted him to fall in love with me again...i was so sure it was happening until one day he casually asked me for advice about this girl and how to get her to be his girlfriend, i broke it off about a week afterwards...and been working on myself and with the shrink ever since, of course i'm finding a lot out about myself..its not easy, and i found out something that is helping a bit and i hope that it will help as its helping me, i say it to myself quite a lot, its like pinching myself out of it and trying to actually feel something, when i have these questions in my head: oh when am i ever going to get "me" back? when will i be free again? when will i be over him and think of him as a distant memory? then - streight away - i answer myself: now. i'm not waiting for it to happen. its happening now because its up to me and i'm going to get through this. i think one day it just came to me, because i was so fed up with this mind prison... i also try to remind myself that i am only human and that i'm allowed to make mistakes and that no body is perfect, and that yes, some guys will not want to be with me - and thats ok... sorry for going on so much, i just identified with it so completely...i really do believe you can come out of it, do you know why? because i'm starting to! good luck xxx

Hey there heartbroken, I'm gonna let you in on something in order to get you to understand that there is no hope what so ever. I've been sleeping with my ex for nearly a year now, I am completely and utterly in love with him, and I am in a really really deep depression because of it. He does not have any feelings for me and is using me only for sex. he doesn't stay the night, he comes over, gets what he wants, he doesnt even kiss me...and during this whole year I haven't mentioned our relationship once! before that we were not in contact for 8 months, I didn't see him or hear from him once during the whole time and since we met, we've been sleeping togetehr and thats about it. He has no feelings for me at all, but i keep letting him hurt me because i cannot in any circumstance let him go. I'd rather have him this way than not at all. how pathetic is that eh? hopefully at some point i will get fed up because i need a lot of love and affection and i get neither from him....so i do believe that right now i'm getting some sense into my brain and realising how badly i'm treating myself by letting him do this... I'm telling you this so you will realise that having sex with him means absolutely nothing. If he really loved you, you would be back together, with no conditions don't you agree? you wouldnt have to try to get him back and tip toe around his ego and feelings...it would just happen, and to be honest, if it was a true and healthy love the relationship should have lasted in the first place. All i can say is - move on, never look back - its you life!

Hey there, I know how you feel, after me and my ex split up for the final time, I missed him and loved him everyday, for 7 months. It just wouldn't subside. I couldn't understand, we didn't speak at all, I didn't see him for all this time, and still it felt as strong as it did at the start. So I thought, maybe i can't stop thinking of him because he's the one for me. I dated, and tried to get him out of my head but just couldn't no matter what I tried. Then I saw him, and since then we've been seeing eachother, but only because he's out to get one thing of me, and its been going on for about 7 months now. I see him once a week, hoping that maybe, there is a small chance that he'll see me the way he saw me before...but he doesn't...he just uses me...and I know how bad it is for me, I know how much damage I'm causing to myself, and how much time I'm wasiting...I just can't seem to say no to him because i still love him and all I can think of when he calls is that I just want to see and feel him again. But lately its been so painful that I think I'd rather go back to the way it was, just loving him from a distance, and waiting for it to vanish. I think I prefer being in pain and not seeing him than seeing him and seeing in his eyes that I mean nothing to him. I know what its like, I used to say to myself all this time a bit longer and something has to happen, I will come to turms with the fact that he's gone and I'll recover from it". I guess that if I would have waited long enough I would have entually healed. I can't know that now, but the way things are going it looks like I'm gonna start all over again, and this time, I may have the release I've been longing for all this time. You can never know whats going to happen, so my suggestion is to just let it be, miss him, love him, until it changes for which ever way.... you are a strong person, and everything you're going through is natural, just keep on going, we're all with you.

liasonred, its a very touching post. Your ex's nan loved her and wanted to make sure she'll have someone to look after her after she's gone.... I think that instead of letting this promise go keep it but in a different way. For now you are broken up and most likely will stay this way, so for now, let your ex go, live your life and she will live hers, and with whatever choices she makes, but if one day she will need you - then keep your promise and help her, not out of interest to get her back but because you made this promise. That way, you can let it go and still keep a promise and not dwell on it. good luck

Hey there angelbaby, You seem like a sweet person and I want you to know in 100% that you haven't done anything wrong. In my opinion instead of trying to prove to him by speaking to him that he's free to do what ever he likes and still be with you, you should just show him that you respect what he wants and understand his feelings and let him go for now. I say, even though it will seem impossible, from now on, don't contact him in any way shape or form until he contacts you and if he doesn't...then just let it be, because that means that its not worth the effort, if he doesn't care enough to contact you then you might as well not hear from him ever, i know its hard to read these words but it will be harder to have him control your feelings and keep you waiting and hoping. Its a good thing that he doesn't live in your area it will be easier for your healing process. I'm not saying that your realtionship is over for good, right now nothing is certain... just give him the space and time he needs, try to make it through the day, don't think to much of the future, be strong and do not contact him then see what happens...we're all here if you need anything.

Well, he did call, and he came to my place on Monday night, and he was completely different, he was horrible to me, he wouldn't even let me speak, all he did was talk of himself, then I made a mistake and gave in to him, and then he left giving some silly excuse, he was so different it smashed my heart into pieces. He made me feel like nothing, like I'm worth nothing....I don't even want to understand, I just want to get over him once and for all, I don't ever want to feel the way i did that night and the morning after, he completely changed. The week before it was like old times, then this, so cold, so cruel like he didn't even know me, like i was some random girl he could treat any way he liked...and i let him and i feel awful absolutely smashed into pieces, I'm trying to function as usual but its almost impossible...just want to come out of this normal.....what a mistake...how could i be so stupid and think he actually had anything left for me in his heart??? I'm so confused right now, i don't even know what i'm writing, just letting the words out...so sorry if this doesn't make much snese...

Hi, Just wanted to say thank you very much for your replies, it really does make a difference, I'm hanging in there, I'm already programmed to hang in there, I'm trying to realx and keep my thoughts in perspective.... again, thank you very very much you are all angels Lee

Hey everyone, First of all, I would like to say to all of you, you are all amazing, the way you look out for eachother, you all know that it isn't easy, in fact its one of the hardest things to get over someone you love so much and know that never again will you feel that amazing feeling with them. Well, I feel ashamed while writing this, I know what the responses are going to be...I know I made a mistake, but still, this morning I really feel the need to write on this forum after such a long time and a process that keeps resetting itself like it did on friday...my fault, not regretting it right now, probably will in 2.5 minutes.... I saw my ex on Frieday, after 7 months of no contact what so ever...we were in a club, his favorite artist was playing and I had a feeling I would see him. We saw eachother, hugged and chatted and danced all night. Then...I'm really ashamed I know it was a mistake...we went to my place...and he spent the night....it was like we never broke up...our story is long, we've hurt eachother so much...basically we broke up a year ago for the final time, before that he left me 3 times on account of depression problems and broke my heart like no one ever did before....then he wanted me back really badly, and I was already seeing someone but couldn't say no to him. I ended up seeing both of them for a couple of months without my ex knowing about it. And then I broke into pieces and told him about it I just had to tell him, he was my best friend and I never kept secrets from him...he left and kept looking for revenge by walking around my neighbourhood with his new girlfriend so I can see and I saw and it killed me inside. Back in July we met and spent a night together and after that he didn't want anything to do with me...so I left him a lone but alway loving him for afar. During these seven months I've been functioning having fun with friends, going out with guys, but its all been on authomatic pilot, with him always on my mind. I kept telling myself that I have to give it a bit more time and I was really close to seeing the light...I can't see it now because of what I did... I love this boy so much with all my heart... all I wanted was to feel his arms around me again...but the price is so high....I'm feeling so down right now just like in the begginning. I know he's going to disappear again, and I'm not gonna even try to contact him...I'll just keep loving him from afar and hope that maybe one day I'll finally think of him as part of my past and please let there be a smile on my face when it happens.... Thats about it...I don't know why I wrote this, I just wanted to let it all out cause no one knows about this...and I'm so scared and ashamed....

Hi there, Well you basically put all the answers down yourself, you want to move on but you're too weak + you go on and off the drugs, to me you're drug use and your relationship with her is sort of the same. You can't seem to say no to any of them. I understand how you feel, you know she will come back again and even if you will feel its the wrong thing to do you'll hear the words again of how she loves you and cave in. My advice to you is to follow your gut feeling this time, and you know which feeling I'm talking about, the feeling that is deep down inside that you try to avoid because you still love her. No one knows you better than yourself, and no one knows whats good for you more than you. So this time trust yourself and your instincts and try to see the big picture, your relationship with her has been chewed and spit out too many times and cannot be fixed and I think that deep inside you already know that. You probably turned to this site because you really do want to move on with your life, for good. Try to think that life moves so fast and that putting her before you will only keep you in the same place, and you'll miss out on so much because of it, its your life its your decision and its an opportunity for you to show yourself that for once you'll follow your gut feeling and be stong and decide you're moving on no matter what. Try to put aside the feelings you have for her and think of it logically and objectively, make some sense in your head and forget the feelings you have for her. Maybe you'll see things differently and decide to put your foot down. I wish you a lot of luck mate.

Hi aha, I totally understand how you feel, but michael's reply made me wonder, he said the ride has just begun then i saw what you answered, what bugs me the most is why we always keep that hope and wait for that closure to realise that its really over, I'm not critisizing the situation I just wish we could all realise that as soon as someone walks away there is no turning back (of course not in all cases). Why do we leave it to their hands? they've already ended it, why even wait around and see if they miss us, they hurt us, they made a decision, why bother to even wonder if they will change their mind, they werent there when we needed them the most and basically they put us in that situation. Yes do the no contact thing but do it for yourselves, not in order for them to miss you because the decision has been made and its over as soon as they said it was, just wish we could realise that at the very second they do it. I suppose love makes us behave in ways we never would in any other situation. Be strong aha, its gonna be easy from now on and remember its all for the best and you deserve the best.

Hello TroubledTwenties, I read your post and I think you should read it again. Look at the title - Not realizing its over. What I think you really want to know is if he is gonna change his mind after saying its the final time he's leaving. I think instead you need to know if you want him to come back again. You've been through this before with him, you've tried getting back togeteher and its over again. This time, before you get yourself into something that will bring you back here again seaking for answers and feeling a lot of pain inside and being worried, try to think why it ended, what exactly is it you need from him? are you sure you're in love with him? or just not used to being without him? maybe that will make you think differently and you'll start to appreciate the time you have on your own so you can figure out who you are and why you are in pain and most of all, how strong you can be by getting through each day without him and seeying that you're still alive and breathing. Take sometime, maybe you will enjoy it, try to focus on yourself, worrying will not bring him back so why waste time on it. I know its harsh, and I'm sorry, but I truly know how you feel and I know that its not easy, but try to not stress yourself and just get through the day for now, give it time to see what you want. Good luck and take care, you are a good person.