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Thread: No Contact Seemed to Work But.....

  1. #1
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    No Contact Seemed to Work But.....

    Okay so my ex and I who were very in love and talking about marriage broke up a few days ago. At first I begged and really pushed her away even though she cried when I finally quit begging and told her I was leaving she was very angry before that. I asked her if I could text her the next morning and she said yes. Well instead I decided I'd do NC. I texted her that morning and said I decided I was just going to let her go and I thanked her for all the good times. I went all day and never texted her. Later that night I got a text from her that said, "I hope you had a good day." I didn't respond and went to sleep. 45 minutes later she calls and wakes me up. She was crying and said "I just want to talk to you before I go to sleep." Well I should've just let her talk to me and said bye, but I started talking about how I knew she missed me and I thought we should work it out. She said, "can we please just talk about something else." Long story short I told her goodnight and spend most of the next day going NC. I gave in late in the day and called her to check on her since she was upset the night before. I told her I was mostly just calling to ask her about something totally unrelated to us and she got mad and says "oh so that's why you're calling." She hangs up and I text her and say sorry for making her mad. She stopped responding to my texts. Later that night I asked if I could call and she said "sure." We talked for a few minutes and she said she's going to sleep. I tried calling her this morning and she didn't answer.

    So long story short it looks like me not contacting even for one full day let her kind of reset but now I fear I've pushed her away even more because I didn't stick to it. I've decided to start NC again and I'm just looking for advice and get opinions on if it will work or not. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this . How long were you dating? What was the argument/breakup about? Right now it seems like a lot of hurt, anger and call/hangup games.

    No contact is not a technique to get an ex back.It's to regroup and reflect in peace after a breakup. You are reading the get-your-ex-back sites and attempting to use no contact as a gimmick/manipulation to get her back.

    This just sounds like a drawn out continuum of the fight/breakup.
    Originally Posted by ChristisLord
    She was crying and said "I just want to talk to you before I go to sleep. She hangs up and I text her and say sorry for making her mad. She stopped responding to my texts.

    I fear I've pushed her away even more because I didn't stick to it. I've decided to start NC again and I'm just looking for advice and get opinions on if it will work or not. Thanks.

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    We were together 6 months, but it was so unlike any relationship I had ever been in. She said the same for her and she brought up the idea of maybe a month ago marriage. Usually that would've scared me away, but at the time I was thinking the same thing. We had a GREAT relationship and were both very happy. We had a rough weekend and I said something I shouldn't have said to her. At first she didn't say she was done, she just acted cold to me. I started prodding her about forgiving me and getting back to normal. She said, "I'm just done, I'm not happy anymore." I said you seemed happy a few days ago. She said, "I was happy last week and now I'm not." I had almost pulled the trigger on an engagement ring.

    Oh and I forgot to mention when she called me that night I said so are we broken up or what and she said, "I don't know."
    Last edited by ChristisLord; 02-28-2020 at 08:38 AM.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How old is she? She is engaging in a lot of drama and kid-stuff. Of course a lot depends on what you said and how she took it.

    Why are you pressuring for marriage after dating only 24 weeks? Your relationship is not happy stable or mature if this type of dialogue is happening.
    Originally Posted by ChristisLord
    We were together 6 months. We had a rough weekend and I said something I shouldn't have said to her.

    she said, "I'm just done, I'm not happy anymore."
    I said you seemed happy a few days ago.
    She said, "I was happy last week and now I'm not."
    I said so are we broken up or what and she said, "I don't know."

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    She is 24. We weren't really pressuring for marriage but both just felt like we had found someone we wanted to be with the rest of our lives. This is really the first time something like this has happened to us. We have been very happy with each other up until this point.

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    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    You didn't go no contact if it only lasted a day or so. So I don't see how you conclude not texting her for a few hours "worked".

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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    You didn't go no contact if it only lasted a day or so. So I don't see how you conclude not texting her for a few hours "worked".
    That's true. I understand that. I guess what I was saying is I think she was definitely having second thoughts about ending it. She was crying and said I just need to talk to you, when the day before she was very angry. I'm just hoping I didn't push her away further when I broke NC.

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    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    What did you say to her that triggered this? Really hard to give you advice without knowing full information about this situation.

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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    What did you say to her that triggered this? Really hard to give you advice without knowing full information about this situation.
    We just had an argument the night before and she was kind of cold about the whole thing and I was just upset and told her I felt like she was just using me and didn't love me. I know better than that, but after I talked to later that day she basically said, "there's little things that never really bothered me about you, but now they do and I'm just not happy." She told me she just needed a day to herself to regroup and me being an idiot aggravated her to death on that day trying to apologize and make her feel better. I said something to the effect of, "this is really bothering me and I just want to know everything is alright." She then told me she was done. I went to her house after work and begged and that made it worse.

    This relationship is the strongest I've ever had and she has multiple times told me the same thing on her own. She has repeatedly told me there was no-one like me. All our feelings were mutual and just over one fight I can't believe its over. I know if I had left her alone on that one day she would've cooled down and been okay. I'm hoping she'll still do that.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately it sounds like you hit that 6 mos wall of who you are really with. Both of you are starting to see the ugly side now that the 6 mos rosy glow is faded. She's done, but both of you are manipulating all this with innuendos, games and a whole bunch of childishness. It's devolved into throwing jabs at each other.
    Originally Posted by ChristisLord
    told her I felt like she was just using me and didn't love me.
    she basically said, "there's little things that never really bothered me about you, but now they do and I'm just not happy."

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