Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 32

Thread: I am starting to have some sort of hatred

  1. #11
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Posts
    20
    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    It doesnt sound like youre at the anger stage at all to be honest.
    So am I still on the hellhole?
    Ohhh man, I was thinking I am doing things to improve myself and move forward.

  2. #12
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Posts
    20
    Nevermind, I am on the idiocy stage, between denial and idiocy, I get it, I Just have anger moments.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    4,205
    Originally Posted by Redesign
    What stage you think is mine now?
    Based on your attempt at strategic thinking, Id guess denial.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Somewhere Out There
    Age
    37
    Posts
    1,704
    Gender
    Female
    Op you will most likely bounce between each stage which is normal. After my decade long relationship came to an end I bounced from denial and angry quite a bit. It took three years to come to acceptance.

    Give yourself time to grieve.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Posts
    20
    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Based on your attempt at strategic thinking, I’d guess denial.
    Yes, I noticed that, Oh well.....

  7. #16
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    5,669
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Redesign
    I am just fearful that I stay angry forever, sure, my ex is not perfect and has fault of her own in the demise of the marriage, but, I think it is unfair to be angry at her, I have a lot of reasons to be angry at her all of them valid but still...
    I think you need to get angry, get it all out. Work with a competent therapist who can guide you thru the anger and to come out in a better frame of mind.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    9,874
    Gender
    Female
    Just expect to feel.all sorts of overwhelming and conflicting feelings. It wont make sense for quite some time.
    Do you really think there's any chance for reconciliation? If so I understand why you might not tell your family. That's ok.
    But it doesn't mean you need to personally flog yourself and take the blame.
    If by chance you reconcile it will only be successful if you both own your own stuff and take ownership wear it belongs.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Realitynut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Quad-Cities, Illinois, usa
    Posts
    2,632
    Gender
    Female
    When my fiance found another woman the week before he proposed to me....then i found out about it as i was preparing for my wedding...ugh....I never went thru the angry stage. First I was in denial...and bargaining. It worked. We got back together...but then he started seeing her again. And then it was over for GOOD. But not because I ENDED IT! HE DID.

    1st month...still in shock and denial.
    2nd month....depression. (heard depression is anger turned inward. I blamed myself)
    3rd month. Terrible depression. Wouldn't get out of bed. Etc. Joined ENA....lol

    By the 6 month I was writing myself Messages. This is the beginning of my new life. Today I will.....

    Took me 2 years...and everyone said I was still talking about him.

    At the end of 2 years I started hanging out with a guy....just as friends. 5 months later (in Oct) I called my mom and said...I'm finally happy again.

    So close to 3 years.

    Now that 'guy' and I are over. 5 years. Now to start over again.

    Went thru all the pain of a hot/cold relationship during those 5 years. Don't have to cry and get depressed. Just sad.

    Angry? Everyone told me to get angry. But I can't. When I'm mad...I can argue with a SO...but after a break up....I'm just hurt. Wishing it could have worked out. Wondering why men are such A-holes.....lol...joke...sorta...don't come back and say women are too. I know....women are crazy, men are....fill in blank.

    I WISH I got angry. Little bits and pieces of angry. But mostly disappointment.

    I'm not afraid I'm gonna stay in the 'I hate you' stage...I'm always afraid I'm going to get in the 'jaded' stage and not trust anymore.

    So sorry OP. Can't help ya out with anger....but if you wanna know about depression...I'm your girl! *wink*

  10. #19
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Posts
    20
    Originally Posted by Realitynut
    When my fiance found another woman the week before he proposed to me....then i found out about it as i was preparing for my wedding...ugh....I never went thru the angry stage. First I was in denial...and bargaining. It worked. We got back together...but then he started seeing her again. And then it was over for GOOD. But not because I ENDED IT! HE DID.

    1st month...still in shock and denial.
    2nd month....depression. (heard depression is anger turned inward. I blamed myself)
    3rd month. Terrible depression. Wouldn't get out of bed. Etc. Joined ENA....lol

    By the 6 month I was writing myself Messages. This is the beginning of my new life. Today I will.....

    Took me 2 years...and everyone said I was still talking about him.

    At the end of 2 years I started hanging out with a guy....just as friends. 5 months later (in Oct) I called my mom and said...I'm finally happy again.

    So close to 3 years.

    Now that 'guy' and I are over. 5 years. Now to start over again.

    Went thru all the pain of a hot/cold relationship during those 5 years. Don't have to cry and get depressed. Just sad.

    Angry? Everyone told me to get angry. But I can't. When I'm mad...I can argue with a SO...but after a break up....I'm just hurt. Wishing it could have worked out. Wondering why men are such A-holes.....lol...joke...sorta...don't come back and say women are too. I know....women are crazy, men are....fill in blank.

    I WISH I got angry. Little bits and pieces of angry. But mostly disappointment.

    I'm not afraid I'm gonna stay in the 'I hate you' stage...I'm always afraid I'm going to get in the 'jaded' stage and not trust anymore.

    So sorry OP. Can't help ya out with anger....but if you wanna know about depression...I'm your girl! *wink*
    That makes a lot of sense to me, I am happy that you got yourself out of the rutt. On the other hand if you don't mind me asking, why you think you never got in the angry stage? In my case, I think I am avoiding it mostly because my metitation class, specially now because the subject of this period is about anger and maybe I am trying to make sense and compare my personal situation with what the class is teaching.

  11. #20
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Posts
    20
    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Just expect to feel.all sorts of overwhelming and conflicting feelings. It wont make sense for quite some time.
    Do you really think there's any chance for reconciliation? If so I understand why you might not tell your family. That's ok.
    But it doesn't mean you need to personally flog yourself and take the blame.
    If by chance you reconcile it will only be successful if you both own your own stuff and take ownership wear it belongs.
    Maybe I am just in denial and anger? this is all new to me, sounds stupid I know, I am in my forties, I do not recall ever feeling like this, all of my previous relashionships I left for the most part unscarred.

Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •