Wiseman2 Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 It's best to keep your conversations about this with your therapist for emotional support and your attorney for logistical support. Stop talking to your ex.is it unhealthy to not talk to my friends and family about my ex's role on the break up? last time we spoke it seems that my ex is just blaming me for everything Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Three years? Wow, I am in for a long ride. I am really sorry you went trough this for such a long time. To be fair redesign, she gave you her timeline, we all heal in our own separate ways. If you want to end up with a years long timeline, keep in contact, stay bitter, stalk her social media, become obsessive with your thoughts, victimize yourself, keep in contact while victimizing yourself, avoid looking within. It doesn’t seem that you’re going to do all that, although I kinda imagine you on a roller coaster that hasn’t gone down the big drop yet and you’re yelling at the operator WAIT STOP IM NOT READY! I NEED TO BE MORE PREPARED FOR THIS. You’re bracing for an impact that hasn’t happened yet, you are INCREIBLY early in your healing, still convinced she’s probably coming back, I don’t think it’s truly hit you yet, mostly because you’re cocooning yourself in ‘knowledge’ but it’s not gonna defend you from that hurt. You can read all the books in the world and hear as many stories as you want, grief and healing are individual things. Link to comment
Redesign Posted October 31, 2018 Author Share Posted October 31, 2018 To be fair redesign, she gave you her timeline, we all heal in our own separate ways. If you want to end up with a years long timeline, keep in contact, stay bitter, stalk her social media, become obsessive with your thoughts, victimize yourself, keep in contact while victimizing yourself, avoid looking within. It doesn’t seem that you’re going to do all that, although I kinda imagine you on a roller coaster that hasn’t gone down the big drop yet and you’re yelling at the operator WAIT STOP IM NOT READY! I NEED TO BE MORE PREPARED FOR THIS. You’re bracing for an impact that hasn’t happened yet, you are INCREIBLY early in your healing, still convinced she’s probably coming back, I don’t think it’s truly hit you yet, mostly because you’re cocooning yourself in ‘knowledge’ but it’s not gonna defend you from that hurt. You can read all the books in the world and hear as many stories as you want, grief and healing are individual things. I guess you are right, it is still very fresh to me, and yes, I am not begging and making contact, we only spoke once and because she called a bunch of times until I picked up the phone, all of this time I have been staying busy, taking classes, playing music... It's been almost 2 months and I notice almost no healing. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 I guess you are right, it is still very fresh to me, and yes, I am not begging and making contact, we only spoke once and because she called a bunch of times until I picked up the phone, all of this time I have been staying busy, taking classes, playing music... It's been almost 2 months and I notice almost no healing. Sometimes staying busy is a form of avoidance. It is possible to stay so busy that you don't have to deal with the feelings that are waiting for you. But they are always there. . waiting. You either deal with them or they will deal with you. If you run long enough the feelings tend to come out in unhealthy ways, when you least expect it. Link to comment
Redesign Posted October 31, 2018 Author Share Posted October 31, 2018 Sometimes staying busy is a form of avoidance. It is possible to stay so busy that you don't have to deal with the feelings that are waiting for you. But they are always there. . waiting. You either deal with them or they will deal with you. If you run long enough the feelings tend to come out in unhealthy ways, when you least expect it. I guess I should just ride the storm and be patient, let all the feelings come out. Link to comment
Lester Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 You can accomplish a tremendous amount of organizational work during emotional lows. Plan to do one thing day, something you would normally ignore during brighter periods. It will wipe away the sadness that day and for days to come as you look over your job well done. Link to comment
wtm78 Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 Hi all, I am separated for over a month, I know the stages of grief very well, I promised miself to avoid the angry stage, or at least minimize it. I do not want to be an angry and bitter person. Advice? grief is a process and anger is part of the process... it will get better... Link to comment
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