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wtm78

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wtm78 last won the day on May 23 2008

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About wtm78

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  • Birthday September 4
  1. Thanks for all the responses! Kindly keep to this thread. This question is independent from other that is post
  2. Is it normal when I see or hear someone starting to get emotional, their pitch in their voice goes higher and higher, pace of words gets faster and faster, the voice gets screechyer and scheechyer, whinier and whinier. I get this churn in my stomach, my blood pressure will rise and starts to get annoyed. Is this normal?
  3. Hi, hmm. I don't know where to start. My wife, she is a wonderful person. She love me and I love her. But somehow that is not enough. You see, at rest, at our natural state. Somehow we oppose each other. Every thought, every decision, every word we say. We have difficulty getting by with each other each day even at daily things, even for deciding to have a meal together. We are unhappy. For a long time. Somehow everything changed straight after wedding. It hurts to see her sad to see her cry when we fight. I wish she can find someone who will love her the way she wants and deserve. The m
  4. Do you have any people you work with who always drop the ball? Even after you explained the details of the project and how he/she is supposed to be involve. Set a timeline. But they never come back to you, they never do the work and they just conveniently forgets about it. Then imagine your spouse is like that. You tell him/her the same thing/task everyday. They don't do it. You split the work load and you did your part but he/she don't follow up, don't follow through on hers. How can you set boundaries for a spouse like that. What consequences can you give?
  5. Like I said Because she threatens to sucide,
  6. hi Writinggal , i am sorry, i dont really understand the suggestion... i just want to have a meal with my wife at least once a day... which the only possible timing is waking up together for breakfast.. this is because our timing just dont fit.. which i have explained earlier too... :)
  7. thanks for all your replies... you know how is it like to live with someone who rather go into 'war' with you than to admit that 'hey like i did that'.. after we got married, i have never heard her say 'ya, i did that'.. never.. but instead she explains why she did was right.. i cant comprehend why being right is so much more impt... even point that out, she explains to me that it so not wrong... after that, she will cry and throws a fit... not talk for a few days... and decided that she will cook soup and pretend that nothing has happened... if i dont drink the soup for whatever reason lik
  8. i have been going for marriage counselling for almost 1 year. at least 6 times the counselor suggested that i consider a divorce.. i have stopped going because i know that counselling at this stage will not going to any fruitful... there is always going to be difference in a relationship... i think not every problem needs to be solved. but they definately need to be well-discussed! the problem that i have previously raise are just problem that need to be discussed. but the real issue in my marriage is that i cant talk about the problems. she will get defensive, she will want to explain h
  9. grief is a process and anger is part of the process... it will get better...
  10. I'm losing my sanity slowly. Every conversation with wife turns into a fight no matter how innocently a question is. A question like when are you going to tell me that xxx thing you have? Turns into a full blown fight. To me, it was a genuine question. To her, it's an attack. I don't know how is everything that comes out of my mouth an attack. Slowly I start to question my sanity. Also everything I say become a full blown fight. I am damn tired. I am losing any hope and can no longer the shore. I am griefed
  11. I'm also beginning to realise that her actions are passive aggressive. She say what she doesn't mean. She promised things 'if that is what you want' only to fail to keep her promise. She seems to fail to do those certain things that I tell her it's important for me very often. (For those who still post asking me why I'm mad with the lights. To put it directly, it's not about the lights. Something deeper that I could not put my finger to it earlier.) When I raise an issue (small solvable issue) it can escalate out of portion. When in arguement. She seems to be waiting for me to make a
  12. I think you are spot on. There are many deeply rooted issues. What you say about what she thinks eventually come true is what I often tells her. If she keeps thinking that I have I'll intentions of her she will keep finding it. She keeps fearing I will leave her now she is pushing me further and further away.
  13. I haven't been able to sleep well. I have constant heahaches. I have fast heartbeat. I'm frustrated with my life stages. 1 year married but it's no honeymoon like most newly wed. We have hard time adjusting to each other. I want to solve our differences. My wife is conflict avoidant. We have not been addressing any of our issues. I'm frustrated. I'm sure she is too. I'm having nightmares and wake up screaming. In fact I was sitting at the table in public and as my mind wonders off. I started letting out a frustrated outcry unknowingly. I guessed it's muscle memory. I'm anxious all the time. I
  14. Imagine you want to hold on to a piece of soap. The tighter you grip the easier it slip. At the same time if you don't hold it, you would also drop it. Life is as such. Do what you can. You cant control the outcome.
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