Do I go cold or keep on talking?

Spoken to a girl for around 6-7 weeks everyday! Long calls, continuous texts, kissed on the first date etc.

Hit a wall we couldn't avoid with problems her end, so I said I'd like to be supportive of it which shocked her and amazed but she wants to take it slow see how we feel, but now it feels like she's gone cold within a few days after this.

It amazes how quick things change as a week ago, this girl was worried about where I was after a day of not hearing from me and quite easily say she liked me and what she thought of me.

I know we are both talking to other people etc. But I guess I fell hard and I may have come across weak recently. Should I go cold and focus on me, leave her to what ever she's doing or exploring? Maybe touch base in a few weeks? Or should I like some say, not play the game of who text when and just keep at it to show I'm interested?

What was the problem you ran into? It's kind of important to know before deciding whether you should find another girlfriend or keep the one you have. But right now, I would be leaning to breaking up since I'm guessing it was probably a big fight.

I think she gave you an out and was surprised when you didn't take it. Then if she has gone cold from there, she has taken the out for you.

Is this a loosely veiled excuse to stop dating you? Possibly.

I guess you could push it by continuing to make contact, but I suspect she will continue to be cold. If she does, lose her.

It wasn't a fight, she just has a medical problem that has caused issues with us meeting at times so I just wanted to be supportive.

Yeah I've thought that as well that it was an out, I think it's just the part that even after telling me this she would say things about "how much I've set the bar or she likes me and maybe once she's better we can see how it goes then etc"

Took a few days of space and then said what I had to say about supporting. she still sent pictures of herself from the weekend, and spoke but since Monday she's been quiet. It's why I'm conflicted

It wasn't a fight, she just has a medical problem that has caused issues with us meeting at times so I just wanted to be supportive.

Oh, you wrote in the other day. The relationship is over before it started. I'm sure she has a medical condition but she's using it as an excuse. Forget her. Move on. She'll contact you if she wants to go out again. Otherwise, it's the standard rejection spiel, it's not you, it's me. I need time to work on myself. You deserve better. We can still be friends. Etc. They're not to be taken literally. They're just pseudo-compassionate break-up lines.

Oh, you wrote in the other day. The relationship is over before it started. I'm sure she has a medical condition but she's using it as an excuse. Forget her. Move on. She'll contact you if she wants to go out again. Otherwise, it's the standard rejection spiel, it's not you, it's me. I need time to work on myself. You deserve better. We can still be friends. Etc. They're not to be taken literally. They're just pseudo-compassionate break-up lines.

I honestly think this is what I needed to hear. It's been bugging for days and I dunno how I hadnt thought of it in this way. Blinded again haha

set up a date?

"They're just pseudo-compassionate break-up lines."

I dated a lady recently - then got the bail-out message on the day from a date planned a week before... Apparently she needs time to work out what she wants. Drama queen BS.

Bottom line is she didn't want to be there. Forget her, move on.

Oh, you wrote in the other day. The relationship is over before it started. I'm sure she has a medical condition but she's using it as an excuse. Forget her. Move on. She'll contact you if she wants to go out again. Otherwise, it's the standard rejection spiel, it's not you, it's me. I need time to work on myself. You deserve better. We can still be friends. Etc. They're not to be taken literally. They're just pseudo-compassionate break-up lines.

Yeah I would also say it's probably this. The point is people do go through things in life but when we really like someone we don't want to lose them. I mean you've been very understanding and supportive so she should be really happy that she found such a nice guy but instead she wants you to go away? Also I think you need to be careful about falling for someone where you've only had one date but keep talking for seven weeks via phone or social media or whatever. People that want to actually date would make time for you face to face. In this case she may just need a friend to talk to and listen to her problems. If she was into you she would want to see you in person more. Like even if she was in hospital for example she'd probably ask you to come visit her.

Yeah I would also say it's probably this. The point is people do go through things in life but when we really like someone we don't want to lose them. I mean you've been very understanding and supportive so she should be really happy that she found such a nice guy but instead she wants you to go away? Also I think you need to be careful about falling for someone where you've only had one date but keep talking for seven weeks via phone or social media or whatever. People that want to actually date would make time for you face to face. In this case she may just need a friend to talk to and listen to her problems. If she was into you she would want to see you in person more. Like even if she was in hospital for example she'd probably ask you to come visit her.

I think the reason I kept hanging on was because of the amount of talking through social media etc was a lot, phone calls for hours with a lot in common.

Even herself arranging some of the dates or apologizing continuously when it would never happen.

Just always had that supportive output of you can't control it so I won't get annoyed. That's very true it does feel like it's possible she is just seeing what's out there after her last one and just wants the attention.

I think the reason I kept hanging on was because of the amount of talking through social media etc was a lot, phone calls for hours with a lot in common.

Even herself arranging some of the dates or apologizing continuously when it would never happen.

Just always had that supportive output of you can't control it so I won't get annoyed. That's very true it does feel like it's possible she is just seeing what's out there after her last one and just wants the attention.

Yes I think she needed a friend and you were there when in time of need. It can get lonely if you are in the hospital a lot or going through health problems.

I think the reason I kept hanging on was because of the amount of talking through social media etc was a lot, phone calls for hours with a lot in common.

That's fantasy building, and I'd skip it. Use apps to screen for potential matches, messaging and phone to screen a bit more and set up a quick coffee meet to check one another out right away.

Rules are that you part within 20 or 30 minutes, and neither can corner the other for another date on the spot. Either can send an invite afterward to set up a real date. If the answer is yes, the other accepts, and if not, then no response is necessary. This takes squirmy rejection stuff off the table.

Set up as many quick meets as you can to grab a coffee on your way home from work. If you get stood up, just take your coffee with you and no big deal. Given that most people are NOT our match, it makes no sense to invest before you learn whether or not there's mutual simpatico. People demonstrate this by their actions AFTER dates, not by their responses during dates when they're on their best, most encouraging behavior.

Head high. Love is rare. If it were not, what would be so special about it?