Waiting for Results

I lost my virginity to someone I really like. I didn't always feel this way, but he pursued me and I started to fall for him. He's older, experienced, and really good looking (popular with girls). But over the time I got to know him, I also knew that he had a good heart. A lot of times, he was like a little kid and got really excited about really small things. I fell for him because of the little quirks.

I'm a really cautious person, but for some reason I just trusted him. So when he told me that he was tested and didn't have STDs, I didn't question it. The honeymoon phase was really great, but last week something changed. He was distant and wouldn't tell me why. I would reach for his hand but he wouldn't hold it. It's like he made a 180 turn in his personality but wouldn't say why. When I was making the bed, his phone lit up and I accidentally saw a flirty text from an unknown number and a notification from Tinder. My heart stopped.

I found out that he has some friends coming to town that aren't great influences. He's done drugs with them even though he's been completely clean now.

I found out he's had a complicated past and he's slept with a lot of different people.

He's been extremely distant the past couple of days. I feel hurt because of how much he hid from me and I don't know what he's told me is true.

To be safe, I went and got an STD test today and no one knows about this. The only person who can confirm that I don't have an STD has disappeared behind "one-word-a-day" text responses.

Right now as I wait for my results, I feel completely terrified and helpless. Even with everything that's happened, I still care about him and want him to be happy. To be honest, I'm worried about him. He went from being really warm to completely shutting me out, and it frustrates me that I don't even know what I can do to help him. I just feel so helpless.

I'm really sorry to hear your guy has done a complete 180 on you. Most people take decades to learn when to walk away but you may get a chance to get practice at this early. You could try and have a talk with him, he might tell you the truth but maybe not. Sit and ask yourself what your deal breakers are. Do you want to hold onto a guy who has disengaged from you? Do you want to stay with a guy who's still using online dating while with you? Are drugs a deal breaker for you?

He's unfolding and you are getting to know more about him, could be the initial assessment was inaccurate due to a lack of data. If he's lost interest in you and is choosing to ice you out rather than have a conversation I do not think he has a good heart.

Don't worry about helping him, what can you do to help yourself?

You didn't use any condoms? Never take someone's word regarding their health status. . I believe HIV takes some time to show. You will need to get retested. Are you on birth control?

I do not understand this behaviour in this day and age. Your life should be worth much more!

How long have you been together? Or are you? Just because you really like someone isn’t a reason to lose your virginity. It sounds like he got what he wanted and he is no longer interested, and very obviously not committed to you. I hope the best for your results and I hope you can take this as a learning lesson and make better decisions in the future

Just breathe. I think most results are available in 48 hours. I agree with another poster HIV takes longer to show. You will be ok

Forget about this guy, first and foremost. He's not serious about you if he's still looking for dates on Tinder.

And try to stay calm and breathe. You did the right thing getting tested.

Bless your heart you seem like such a caring and loving person.. you have a very big heart I can tell.

The best thing was to go get tested and you might feel selfish thinking about yourself but I feel that’s honestly what you should do if this guy had the same feelings you have for him he would not be searching on tinder for someone he’s not grateful for having you in his life and I know you want the best for him even with him getting involved with the wrong people again you can only do so much and if a person doesn’t want help for themselves there nothing you can do. I know it’s very difficult for you and I could only imagine being in your shoes but stay positive and keep doing the right things for yourself.

Stop worrying about him, you should be concerned about yourself. I think he's running around on you and it's good you got a test for STDs. Hopefully all will be fine there. Let this be a lesson to you to take your time with the next guy and get to know him better than this guy before hopping in bed with him. Always use birth control.

I'm sorry, but you're as much to blame as he is. If you're responsible enough to be having sex, it's common sense to be tested beforehand, along with the knowledge of what using protection entails.

As far as being "older, experienced, and really good looking (popular with girls)" this in turn was a former description of a man by the name of "Ted Bundy."

Please tell me you used protection -- not just for STDs. Maybe because he is "older" he saw how willing you were to have sex for the first time with him and once he got it, he left you like yesterday's news....

Thanks everyone for the posts. I got my results back and tested negative for everything - but I will do a follow up. We used protection for all but one time - which I know was a mistake.

I feel like I have control over my life again and will take this lesson going forward.

And I'm breaking up with him.

You rock!!! :-)

Thanks everyone for the posts. I got my results back and tested negative for everything - but I will do a follow up. We used protection for all but one time - which I know was a mistake.

I feel like I have control over my life again and will take this lesson going forward.

And I'm breaking up with him.

I sincerely hope you are not pregnant.

I think that you should test again in 6 months just in case.