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Thread: How should I tell him I will be living with another man

  1. #1

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    How should I tell him I will be living with another man

    I was in transition and looking for a new place to rent, and had time between that and work to entertain a bit of romance..
    Well I met a gentleman and we started dating exactly two months ago, things were progressing slowly as they normally do at first, we went on a few dates here and there, and then it turned to an every weekend thing, I met the acquaintances and friends, the sister.. then the brief nonchalant exclusive talk.. then the extra tooth brush and future plans..

    Which leads me here.. between our dating and condo searching I found the perfect place!
    However I will be sharing it with another male in a purely roommate bases.
    Seeing that now I am in an exclusive situation-ship I feel a sense of obligation out of respect to let him know that my new roommate will be another male and am anxious about it. I need advice as to how I can approach this and break the news as soon as possible specially now he strongly insisted to help me move. I don't want to hurt his feelings or add any unnecessary complications to what is now becoming a fast developing relationship.
    Had we been at this stage prior to signing my new lease I would have asked him how he felt about me sharing a flat with another guy now am afraid am in a bit of a pickle. Help please!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Well....if your roommate situation is going to break up your relationship....it's not a perfect living situation now is it?
    All you can do is talk to him and ask him how he feels about it. As in I found this place that I really love, but it will involved a male roommate. What do you think?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
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    It has been 2 months.... you don't owe him anything, really.

    IF he is decent enough, he should be okay to ACCEPT what is. And trust you.
    The fact is... is you are involved with HIM. Not the room mate.. and he should realize this.

    So, throw it at him. Should he change on you.. then it's on him.
    This is YOUR life & your choice. If things seem positive about where you are moving to, then do it.

    Any trust issue's and that won't be good anyways.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member rosephase's Avatar
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    If he has an issue with you living platonically with another guy then you'll know it's not the right relationship. It's been two months. I would go in expecting him to act like a rational adult. And if he doesn't? Then two months is a great time to end things.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Where's the extra toothbrush now? Do you live alone or is it at his place? Are you moving into this guy's place or did you know him before and decide to be roommates?
    Originally Posted by Love2624
    the brief nonchalant exclusive talk.. then the extra tooth brush and future plans.

  7. 03-27-2018, 01:33 PM

  8. #6
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Just let him know plainly. You don't need to tip-toe around it. My fiancee and I dated while I was renting an apartment with a woman. There was never a single issue. Still, some people do get insecure about that kind of thing, so it is best to get it out of the way and let him decide if it's a dealbreaker or not. If he decides it is, I'm certain you can easily find a guy who's confident in your ability to maintain boundaries in a roommate situation.

  9. #7

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    Thank you guys for your advice, that really helps put things into perspective. I agree 2 months is a bit early to feel this level of obligation and accountability to someone else for such a decision, if he's the right guy he will accept the situation as it is, respect my choice and trust that I am invested in him and only him.

  10. #8

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Where's the extra toothbrush now? Do you live alone or is it at his place? Are you moving into this guy's place or did you know him before and decide to be roommates?
    The toothbrush is at his place, I live with another female roommate at the moment, I did not know the male roommate before

  11. #9
    Platinum Member thealchemist's Avatar
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    This should be a non issue with any sane and noncontrolling person.

    Unless you forgot to mention he was your ex I don't even see the issue.

  12. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok then all should go well and as other astute posters have already pointed out it should be a nonissue as long as you're upfront. I mean you "nonchalantly" discussed being exclusive, so mention this just as nonchalantly.
    Originally Posted by Love2624
    The toothbrush is at his place, I live with another female roommate at the moment, I did not know the male roommate before

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