I apologize for my harshness!!

Hi Ena Board that I've come to love....

I have to apologize for my recent harshness to a couple of posters. I was unnecessarily harsh towards Sue, who is dealing with a major health issue, and also to the poster who wrote about her recent interaction with the guy with ED (so sorry I can't find your name right now).

This unnecessary harshness came from my own anger at my recent ex, with whom I've been NC for 2 months. He still has my tv that I lent him when his went out. I was going to just write it off. But the other day, I received several emails from him that simply said "Test". I finally messaged, thinking that maybe he was reaching out to talk. Nope, he was testing to see what type of response he might get from a blocked email, as the new girl he started dating has apparently blocked him, and he's upset about her.

I was so ticked that I even responded to him. He then went into every bad thing about me.

But I really came unglued when I woke up the next morning to message after message, insulting every member of my family, individually, with great details. Horrendous.

And he's keeping my tv. He absolutely will not give it back.

So, in my misdirected anger, I reacted rather way too harshly to some posters here who simply came here asking for help.

I am so sorry, and I wish I could re-post to you both with the kindness that you deserve. You came here asking for advice, and I slammed the daylights out of you both. Please accept my sincere apologies.

Very kind. Thank-you.

I hope you cut that person out of your life forever. Just do not respond at all ever for any reason . No TV is worth any amount of suffering any of his crap .

I hope you feel better soon .

Awww! Relax LHGirl! We are all human and we make mistakes, I am glad you are sincerely apologising and accepting your mistakes. I know how moods and our own personal issues take toll on others.

I hope the people you've replied harshly to will accept your apology. And despite will be gentle and kind towards you.

Thankyou LH ...Takes a good person to stand up like this .

I'm so sorry this happened with the TV. I don't think you should back down.

I'm so sorry this happened with the TV. I don't think you should back down.

You think I should continue to try to get it? My concern is, and I know him: he'll say that I can come pick it up at X time. And then he'll have his new girlfriend in her pj's come walking out with him. He's just that bad. And that will throw me into a tailspin, I just know it.

I told him I want to donate it to a hurricane victim I know who lost everything, yet he still says no. He's just not a good guy.

To the posters I offended: I hope you read this thread and again, please accept my sincere apology for my outburst. And please keep posting! I promise I won't bite....again.

I admire your admission LH, but I hope this is what it takes to push you to other side and detach from the guy.

Because by your own admission it's poisoning other areas of your life. It's like you are under a spell and it needs to break.

You hold the key, I hope you know that.

At some point you just look in the mirror and say `I am sick and tired of being sick and tired'

.

Detaching isn't just blocking. It's you don't allow him any head space, you don't allow the situation to derail from your path to peace and happiness or run the show.

Up until now you haven't been successful. I get this is a process, (you keep reminding us) but there does come a time.

It's all about a choice.

Is it time . . yet?

bytheway - f' the tv. He can keep it. We'll buy you a new one

These types of relationships can really do a lot of damage, I am now seeing. I saw a friend today who had a very similar situation with her exBF, 2 years ago. She was literally almost in tears today about something that she came across this week about him. It can just do so much damage.

There is no true way to block someone from your email; you can only have it sent to your spam folder, and then you still see if when you empty spam. So these "test" messages he was sending me, which were in fact meant to test if this new girl has blocked him, had an effect on me. I can't help that; it's involuntary. What is voluntary is my reaction.

And yes, "f" the t.v. I hope it shorts out on him.

You think I should continue to try to get it? My concern is, and I know him: he'll say that I can come pick it up at X time. And then he'll have his new girlfriend in her pj's come walking out with him. He's just that bad. And that will throw me into a tailspin, I just know it.

 

I told him I want to donate it to a hurricane victim I know who lost everything, yet he still says no. He's just not a good guy.

 

To the posters I offended: I hope you read this thread and again, please accept my sincere apology for my outburst. And please keep posting! I promise I won't bite....again.

 

So I would have someone else go and pick it up at the appointed time and he can leave it right outside his home if he wishes. Or you can go at the time the recipient is coming to get it and do it that way.

So I would have someone else go and pick it up at the appointed time and he can leave it right outside his home if he wishes. Or you can go at the time the recipient is coming to get it and do it that way.

Unfortunately, I know him too well: he'll still trot out the girlfriend in the pj's, or something stupid like that, in hopes that the person will tell me. Or he'll "forget" the power cord, or "accidentally" give the wrong remote, just so I'll have to contact again.

He can keep the d*mn tv. It just adds to the list of reasons he's not in my life anymore.

All this crap isn’t worth the TV unless it’s $3000 TV . Then I could see getting my panties in a bunch .

Not sure what e-mail system you are using, but usually yes, there is a way to actually block a specific e-mail account so that you do not get e-mails from them at all. You might have to go into settings to do that. It takes extra steps. You might want to google how to for whatever e-mail system you are using.

LHGirl, I've only just read a couple of your comments in the 'errection' and 'illness' threads. I like you already! I see the males generally get slammed here both by the ladies as well as us fellow men. I found your responses refreshing (and thoughtful) that called it like it was. You have my respect!

As for your situation, write off that TV as a gift to yourself for never having to deal with him again. Don't let him think it's something you're agonizing over but instead quite the opposite attitude i.e. 'that TV is not worth me having to see your pathetic face again, consider it a parting charity...' you don't have to say that but think that for yourself.

Nope, not a $3000 tv, lol. It was a nice LG, flat-screen, LED tv though, and relatively new. We brought it over to his house in a hurry one day when his suddenly went out, with the understanding that since we were moving in together, it was obviously mine. But now, notsomuch.

Initially, 2 months ago, he said he'd send me a $50 Amazon gift card for the t.v., which is far less than it's worth. I don't know if you guys have checked your mailbox, but mine has been empty.

LHGirl, I've only just read a couple of your comments in the 'errection' and 'illness' threads. I like you already! I see the males generally get slammed here both by the ladies as well as us fellow men. I found your responses refreshing (and thoughtful) that called it like it was. You have my respect!

I honestly try to view things from the male's perspective when it's a female posting, and vice versa. I do feel that males get a lot more bashed in general (not this forum, just in life) than females. Males have it pretty hard, with demands, expectations, and constant rejection. I don't like how I worded my response to her, which is why I wrote this post. But I thank you for your kind words.

LHGirl, I've only just read a couple of your comments in the 'errection' and 'illness' threads. I like you already! I see the males generally get slammed here both by the ladies as well as us fellow men. I found your responses refreshing (and thoughtful) that called it like it was. You have my respect

oh well that made this all so worth it doesn't it ..people getting slammed on a disgusting level and you respect that ...and then make her apology nothing by basically saying it was all ok .. nah ...

I am really pissed off , I respected that you came on LH and said sorry and cared and for someone to devalue that apology makes me angry as hell ...it wasn't just you , one of them was getting called a princess and alsorts but the others

I wanted both of those women to see this and now a mockery has been made of it ..nice one romjron

I'm not sure why you thought "Test" meant he was reaching out to talk, but I'm guessing you were hoping that's what it was.

You can block him OR you can change your email. Yes, you can. Just let the people know who you want to know what your new email address is. It takes maybe an hour of effort, but isn't an hour well worth peace of mind? Unless, of course, you want to keep that avenue of communication available to him just in case he does send an email wanting you back together.

Anyway, I feel it's mature of you to apologize to people on this site. I don't see the connection between anger at your ex and the posters on this site asking for advice (how was what your ex did their fault??), but any time someone recognizes they were wrong AND resolves to never do it again (and actually follows through), I think is a sign of some true self-reflection and I can respect that.

I don't see the connection between anger at your ex and the posters on this site asking for advice (how was what your ex did their fault??),

As I said, it was misplaced anger.

It's been said that 90% of over-reactions to a situation have nothing to do with that actual situation, but at other situations in the person's life.

A road rage incident is rarely just about a driver cutting another driver off. There is usually some other anger at something else in life (job, relationship, kids), and the driver funnels that anger at another driver.

That is what happened here.

I never said that the anger towards my ex had anything to do with this.

oh well that made this all so worth it doesn't it ..people getting slammed on a disgusting level and you respect that ...and then make her apology nothing by basically saying it was all ok .. nah ...

Everyone's free to have their own opinion. However, what's disgusting is the guys are made the villains over and over again around here. What earned my respect was LHGirl called it like she saw it, gender biased sympathy is way too wide spread when we should be seeing things from a neutral bias. LHGirl apologized for her tone, not her point of view so trying to guilt her into thinking otherwise is not nice.

As I said, it was misplaced anger.

 

It's been said that 90% of over-reactions to a situation have nothing to do with that actual situation, but at other situations in the person's life.

 

A road rage incident is rarely just about a driver cutting another driver off. There is usually some other anger at something else in life (job, relationship, kids), and the driver funnels that anger at another driver.

 

That is what happened here.

 

I never said that the anger towards my ex had anything to do with this. Please re-read my post.

But in road rage there is usually a trigger (someone cut them off, they think someone is driving too slow or too fast, etc.). I just didn't see the "trigger" here.

Anyway, I did say I thought you were mature and that I respected that you apologized. I thought that might be the takeaway from what I wrote, but it doesn't seem like it was. So be it, life goes on.

Thanks all, for your understanding!

If a mod reads this, can you please close it?

Thanks!

Everyone's free to have their own opinion. However, what's disgusting is the guys are made the villains over and over again around here. What earned my respect was LHGirl called it like she saw it, gender biased sympathy is way too wide spread when we should be seeing things from a neutral bias. LHGirl apologized for her tone, not her point of view so trying to guilt her into thinking otherwise is not nice.

And you don't see that as gender bashing ^^^^^

And as for trying to guilt her ..I don't need to try and guilt anyone on here , I am not 15 , I clearly went on those threads and said exactly what I wanted to say , I don't need to come on another thread and attempt childish games .

But you appear to be now speaking for her and explaining her thoughts behind the apology !!!!

which means bugger all now thanks to you and interpretation .

Thread closed by OP's request.