My puppy died because of me and I want to die

So, I recently got a new puppy, a yorkshire terrier. I had him for two weeks but he was so precious to me. he was always with me, slept with me, always wanted to be in my lap. I am at home most of the time since i'm a freelancer, so he was a huge company. he was so tiny and cute, almost like having a baby. i did nothing but adore him and take care of him. so today we woke up, i fed him, then most part of the afternoon i played with him, and since i usually stay up late working, i was very tired today so i took a nap. he wasn't feeling like taking a nap and was being mischievous, not letting me sleep so i let him outside my room. i also live with my brother and dad. for most of the day he was always with me, but sometimes he was around the house, always inside.

so hours ago when my dad left, apparently, he got outside in our yard, and fell into the pool.

i can't help but feel so guilty and sad. i really want to die, i can't. this pain is really too much. i blame my dad for this as well, i'll never forgive him. but i also blame me and i ask my dog to forgive me. he was so precious to me. all i did was take care of him and love him with all my heart. he was the cutest thing in this world to me.

i just wanna die. what did i do to deserve this? i swear i do wrong to nobody. why does god hate me so much? i had another yorkshire years ago who got tragically sick and died after a couple months. or am i cursed? i dont know but my dog did not deserve this, i cant anymore.

im so fking sad, i wish i could die right now. i fking wish someone killed me right now

im not gonna kill myself bc im a coward but all i want to do is die. my poor dog drowned bc of me, this is unforgiveable

I am sorry this happened! Mourning the loss is normal. Please know that it is okay to forgive and accept..

thank you, i cant believe life can be so unfair. what faults did my dog have anyways? im just so sad

I am so sorry. It is so hard to lose an animal you love. Please remember accidents happen . I know it doesn't feel like that right now .

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet can be just as painful as losing a family member.

I dont know what specific advice to give, but will say suicide is not an option. Always remember, this too shall pass.

That's terrible.

i blame my dad for this as well, i'll never forgive him.

I know you're feeling angry and naturally want to place blame on someone, but your father isn't the right person. As you know, you were responsible for the puppy and he should of been placed in a self-contained space (i.e. crate) when you can't supervise him.

Before getting a dog, you need to research dog ownership. It is a TON of work to raising and training a dog. Puppies are like human toddlers and it's important to safeguard them from dangers. As your now learned, you can't leave a puppy alone and take a nap. Feeding and cuddling are great, but puppies need to be taught discipline and understand boundaries. The moment you bring a puppy home is the day you start dog training. You have to set your dog up for success by being two steps ahead of them and always monitor their behavior in case you have to intervene and redirect. Puppies are known for exploring their environments and getting into mischief because they do not understand boundaries.

This is a very sad situation and I am sorry for your loss. It was a clear accident and you truly loved the puppy. But please research puppy training and required supplies before bringing a new puppy to your home. Better yet, consult with a certified obedience trainer. This is to better equip you for what may come and what to prevent. Every puppy training source would stress getting a crate to help potty train, avoid furniture/carpet damage, and keeping the dog away from hazards when you are unable to supervise him.

Also, you mentioned suicide. This is very concerning. I hope you aren't serious about it and are just saying it because you are really expressing your grieving... But you need to be mentally fit while raising any animal. You are in charge of their wellbeing and have to show leadership, or you should not be raising a dog. A puppy will constantly test you for several months that you can't quit or lose patience.

This post really made me sad. Im' so sorry for your loss. Understand that you didn't do this on purpose. It was an accident and a lesson to be learned. Its ok to be sad but don't lose yourself. Give yourself time to heal and than adopt another dog and take special care. Dogs go to heaven. They have not sin. You are a good person. You made a mistake. Sadly all of us do and will at some point in our lives. Forgive yourself and heal. Than proceed with your life.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Neither you or your father did anything on purpose, and so you need to pull back on the blame, It was an accident. I lost a brother and father in a four year period and I am okay - most difficult time of my life. You need to get a grasp on this situation.

How old are you?

I agree with Snny and it's important to grieve and important not to beat yourself up -use that energy to do the evaluation Snny suggested. It is like having a baby or small child which I went through (I never had a dog but I had a cat and he was entirely indoors and could not get out so that somewhat limited potential dangers/hazards. I know your heart was in the right place. Another thing to consider is effective communication with others in the house -who is responsible and when? Don't get into a situation where everyone assumes someone else is watching the puppy. I've been attacked and almost attacked by dogs -and my child too- because the owners were careless about keeping the dog on a leash in public areas. The dog could have been run over by a car, or hurt by another dog, etc. It's a huge responsibility and I know you'll take it on even more carefully next time. I am so sorry again for your loss.