Is this rude?

Is it rude to say to roommate/sister in law "please, let's not talk before 10:30" and then explain I just need down time to myself after a full day?

My son is in our sleep space, so going in the bedroom (where I'd, of course, be in the dark) feels limiting. But anytime I try to go into any other room of the house I'm followed and talked at to the point of then being shown YouTube clips she thought was funny or a show she started watching, etc.

Yes we're working on getting out of a room mate situation, but so many other issues to be addressed I'm starting to wonder if our time line is feasible (I don't think it is). I know I need to learn "working with people" in a big way, so I thought here's an opportunity....

I'm trying to address problems as they come up. In the past I first leaned towards not sticking up for myself and then harboring tons of resentment OR saying something, but coming off aggressive/harsh.

Help?!?

I'd like to speak up for myself without coming off as an a**hole.

Why don't you just bring a book with you and if nothing else, pretend to read it. Barring that you just simple say, and you say it before she starts her chatter, Do you mind if tonite we just sit quietly, My brain needs to have some down time.

I've read a book, watched a movie, had ear buds in, and have told her "I'm not interested in seeing a YouTube clip, I'm reading". And still it persists. Lol

I will try the "do you mind if tonight..." approach...that's less rigid since maybe some nights I'd want to hear her silliness.

I'd try to make this about you so you don't offend her.

"I'm sorry, I am just not the best company before 10:30. . can I get back to when I am in a better frame of mind?"

Good luck. She sounds lonely or without friends and she considers you her lifeline to escape from her mundane and solitary life.

I really like that, thanks!!

Yes, that's the case I think. And she's super sweet and does bring fun and lightness to my days too sometimes, so I'd hate to push her away. It'd be nice to live harmoniously and beneficial to each other since we're here together anyway.

Lol I know someone like this too, they need to be paid attention to otherwise they get upset. I think reinventmyself hit the nail on the head, make it about you not her, so as to not offend her.

Yup. Make it about you.

My girlfriend is by far more of a morning person than I am. I swing trade, so when I wake up, that time is for sitting quietly with my laptop, reading news on whatever sectors or companies I'm looking to invest in or am invested in before the markets open. The ol' lady would yap the entire time and ask me about clothing choices if I went without letting her know I need my morning time. I know you're talking about winding down rather than winding up, but it's a similar concept.

Just don't be an ass about it and she should understand.

One way to train people is to model the behavior you'd appreciate from them. So I'd make it a habit before approaching her to talk about anything at any time of day to ask, "I'd like to tell you about something, is this an okay time for you?"

With enough repetition, you may find that she adopts the same approach before barging into your private time. Until then, it might be helpful to ask her (rather than tell her,) "Is it okay with you if I spend some quiet time alone to wake up a bit before we talk?"