Calling

My ex broke up with me 2 months ago. I'm in the nc for two weeks now. We haven't spoken via phone or text for 6 weeks but only email . She told me to stop all contact which I did. We had been together 3 years. So, this past weekend she tried to FaceTime me. I didn't answer or call back. I think she hung up on purpose. This is the second time she has done this in 6 weeks. First time I emailed her back to ask what she wanted. Her response was leave me the F alone and it was an accident I didn't mean to do it. Do you think it was an accident again and what does it mean? He would have to search your contacts to get my name to do that. She knew I was vacationing.

Kinda hostile. I would block her and go no contact.

Her response was leave me the F alone

I don't know what you guys are doing but it isn't NC. Block her on everything. That's NC.

She is immature with her behaviour.

You have 2 options: if you don't want her back, completely block her everywhere and move on. If you maybe want her back, then continue NC and ignore everything she does UNLESS she openly says she wants you back.

(I'do go for option no.1 ).

I think she's trying to bait you into making contact, and pretending like it came from you and not her. Then she gets to be hostile, to use Wiseman's word.

If you hurt her and you were the main cause of the breakup, she's probably hurt and is struggling with missing you and wanting to talk to you vs knowing you're not good for her... so she reaches out in this passive-aggressive way, gets to hear back from you, and then gets to express her hurt towards you. Is she was the main cause of the breakup, then it's likely an attempt at an ego-boost and she's playing games.

Dont think about the whys because that will drive you crazy.

Just accept that you got a message or call from her and let it go. The "Whys" or the questions if she is playing a game can not be answered. So it doesnt matter if it was intentional or a mistake, you just accept that it happened.

Then you dont think about it and you move on. I dont think you have to block, just dont answer. Why she is calling you is her problem, not yours. Let it go.

She is terribly insecure, bipolar and attention seeking. I didn't mis treat her either. She's more concerned about what people in Facebook land think as opposed to what I do. We were childhood sweethearts who reunited. We connected on all levels. I have grown tired of the erratic attention seeking behaviors and finally implemented nc. She will post small little jabs on fb at me. There was no infidelity . She is 48 by the way and the love of my life. I have a hard time believing she accidently contacted me though. Confusing to say the least. She is making me loony. She has always played games. Her propensity for lying is second to none at times.

No contact is great but this situation requires full blocking and no social media creeping unless you want more loony tunes.

She will post small little jabs on fb at me. She is making me loony.

In that case, definitely ignore her game-playing. The calls were not accidental. I could probably dig around in my memory and find times when I've done something similar, but it's immature and not something I would ever do today. At her age, she doesn't need to be playing these games. If you ignore her and don't give her any response whatsoever, then you're not rewarding bad behavior and she'll have to find a more mature way to accomplish whatever she wants to accomplish.

She would love to know that it's driving you nuts trying to figure this all out. Don't give her the satisfaction. Don't react at all. NC!

well if you are able to call, message, email and facetime one another you have not gone no contact. no contact means that there isn't any contact at all and then your nerves are not exposed to this loon's antics.

unless you get off being bothered by her because negative emotional reactions are still emotional reactions and you'd rather that than to be in someone's past yourself.

whichever suits you, but you'd do wise to pick a choice you're okay with rather than one you'll complain about. it's either more important to confirm your existance through provoking someone's irrational outbursts, or to be non-existent to them and them to you and have your peace.

If she broke up with you two months ago and thinks its ok to act like this at her age, she's emotionally immature and very disrespectful of the fact you've known each other so long. Leave her to her pathetic acts, and continue to block or ignore. The only time you should ever respond is if she says 'I'm really sorry for what I did, and I'd like to talk about reconciliation'.

Everything else is bs and breadcrumbs.

She's playing games. Once okay, I can see, but twice and especially not blocking you after the first time? Noooope. She wants to know she has power over, but that's not the same as love.

Don't respond. If she seriously wanted to get in touch with you and make things right with you there's this little thing called a phone. She would pick it up and leave a message for you to call her back, that she isn't angry, and wants to talk. And then you'd talk.

What you're describing is her trying to get the upperhand or feel she has it by continuing to hope you'll chase her, so she can keep rejecting you. Ouch, just pass on that okay?

If she were sincere in her badly excused "attempts" to reach you as genuine effort she'd know doing it the way she's doing it isn't exactly gonna help her case.

Stay NC, keep healing, don't let your hope fool you into getting sucked into crushing head games.

Thanks for the input. I haven't been in contact. I suppose she saw my pic on social media that day out and about and chose to try and plant a seed to get me to thinking about her. Still very torn as to what to do. Some more thoughts on how to handle this would be appreciated

Look, you don't want to be with anyone who baits you into a reaction.

This is manipulative and childish.

The right person will show up and let you know they want you and wouldn't risk losing you in the first place.

I meant to say, I've been in no contact for the last two weeks. But, I find it very hard to believe that she would accidentally FaceTime audio me twice within seven weeks time. I mean, you have to go looking for somebody's number in your contacts to do that after not been in contact with them for a while. The name vanishes off your recent call list. So, that's right I am confused as to what she is trying to accomplish. I did not and have not responded as of yet.it's my believe though that she is wanting me to contact so she can get ty with me like she always does.

If it happens again, respond: 'take me off your speed-dial list'.

you have to go looking for somebody's number in your contacts to do that after not been in contact with them for a while. The name vanishes off your recent call list.

Every time I check updates on this thread, I have completely forgotten that she's 48 years old. This is something someone in their teens or 20's would do. She's definitely playing games and trying to bait you into a reaction. Once could have maaaaaaybe been an accident, but not twice. This is very immature of her!

I meant to say, I've been in no contact for the last two weeks. But, I find it very hard to believe that she would accidentally FaceTime audio me twice within seven weeks time. I mean, you have to go looking for somebody's number in your contacts to do that after not been in contact with them for a while. The name vanishes off your recent call list. So, that's right I am confused as to what she is trying to accomplish. I did not and have not responded as of yet.it's my believe though that she is wanting me to contact so she can get ty with me like she always does.

So, if her sincere intention was to reach out and Facetime you, why hasn't she been successful?

It's not that hard?

Does she not have a phone? Does she know where you live?

I'd have to go back and reread but didn't she tell you point blank the first time was a slip?. . and wasn't particularly nice about it?

came back to add: She said the first time was a mistake and to leave her the f' alone.

come on Buddy. . .let this go

Just games designed to reel me back in I'm afraid. This time was no accident . She got what she wanted. She planted a seed.

Just games designed to reel me back in I'm afraid. This time was no accident . She got what she wanted. She planted a seed.

Yep. But don't let her know it worked, at least. If she's going to play silly games, then let her fret over whether it worked or not. Don't give her the satisfaction of any reaction whatsoever. Completely ignore.

Its simple, if you give meaning to the phone call then it means something, if you dont give it meaning then it doesnt.

If you believe she planted a seed, then it happened. If you say it didnt, then she didnt. Its all about perception.

Thats why I said just accept and forget it, or let it go. The more you think about it, the more "meaning" youll find and now you say she planted a seed.

have fun making yourself crazy because that is what you are doing.

Sadly, I know her all too well and that is what she does. She is a true true manipulator

Do bs seeds come from the bs tree?

If you believe she planted a seed, then it happened.

So for an update..... She unblocked me on Facebook. Confusing as hell!!!! Weigh in

Do bs seeds come from the bs tree?

If thats what you believe then yes. Sometimes when people think too much, they have to slow down and just not think so much. Simplicity is the key. Look at the OP. In reality it was a facetime call and if looks at it, doesnt answer and leaves it at that, then its done. No big deal, life moves on without giving it another thought.

But the OP looked at it, responded, then called back thinking it was important then got blasted by the X and is now wondering if it was a game, a ploy, and looking for a meaning behind it, eventually thinking she was 'planting a seed' now she unblocked him on FB and is now thinking whats her next move.

So guy #1 who doesnt give it a second thought is living his life happy and free of the X, guy #2 who thought too much is now thinking of the X all the time and wondering what she is up to. Giving the X too much power and devoting too much wasted energy to the situation. All because of 2 missed facetime calls.

I can sit here until my fingers are blue and say it was nothing, let it go, but if the OP believes there was more then he is going to believe there was more.

In the end the result is going to be the same. They are not going to get back together, but one is healed or is healing, while the other one is still hurt and confused.