No desire to become involved again

This honestly surprises me but I really have no desire to be involved with anyone now or in the future. I've tried, I'm done. Not worth the hassle. I've completely lost interest in men now. I'm just focused on doing what I need to do to get my life to where I want it to be. I'm working an ok job, driving a respectable car, moving to a nice apartment with room for my daughter.

Being involved changes me, I expect men to do what I was raised for them to do. They just don't. If I have to do all and be all, I'm better off alone. I'm happier. I'm free to do the things I enjoy without expecting someone to do them with me. It's just a better deal. I may get a roommate, but honestly I really just don't want to deal with another person anymore (daughter excluded of course). But I'll see how I feel after being on my own a while.

Bankruptcy filed, new account opened with a good bank not a crappy steal my money bank, court stuff getting figured out, and things just getting resolved. I'm in a better place. And it's improving by the day.

What matters is that you are happy and if being on your own without a man in your life makes you happy, then go for it! Someday you may change your mind, but if you dont then you will be living life on your own terms.

It's perfectly fine to choose to stay single. And healthy for you as you seem to have unrealistic expectations from a partner.

Once you have established your independence you might re consider but for now it seems that single and choosing to be is the best option for you.

You mention you are free to do things you enjoy without the expectation for someone to join you.

Do you realise that it can be that way within a relationship? And perhaps your expectations of your partner to do things you enjoy (they might not) is unrealistic?

Having your own time within a relationship is important and frees up a partner to do their things they enjoy with out you having to join them.

Focus on yourself for a while and once you have established what makes you happy, then you will be ready to start dating and eventually allow someone to fit in around your life while you maintain your independence.

Good luck!

Good for you!

My great Aunt Dorothy never married or ever had a relationship and lived a very fulfilling life up until she turned 89 when she passed. She had her work, her friends, and her sisters. She was very fulfilled.

I say if you are very happy being alone then go for it. Just don't slam the door on loves face if it comes knocking because you never know.

Lisa

It sounds like a good idea for you to be single given your expectations of men in relationships. I'm not sure where "they" comes from -do you mean the particular men you chose? Certainly partners should do for each other out of love and caring and/or out of commitments and promises made to each other. I think being independent is an awesome trait in a healthy relationship and a turn-on romantically. I am not married so that someone else can do for me or be there for me -I simply always wanted to share my life with someone and hopefully have a family. I also find that being open to changing one's views/perspective rather than relying on the stagnant "this is so because of how I was raised". Certainly some things work that way very successfully -like manners that are taught very early on -but life gets a lot more interesting if you question certain of those beliefs especially if it's a negative outlook about relationships.

Jetta,

I think this is best decision you can make for yourself and your daughter right now.

It seemed to me you were always in relationships when you were in a place of vulnerability and not from a place of strength and independence. If you spend some time alone and make your life what YOU want it to be and get all your past stuff straightened out I think you will have a totally different view of men you may date.

There is a certain peace to what you propose that is priceless. No drama, no lies, no ego's, no crap to deal with other than your own. It really is a good place to be...

I have a feeling once you get all your stuff together and your life is going well you will start attracting a different kind of man. I also believe you will spot the bad ones very fast and go the other way.

There is a season in everyone's lives and this is your single season. Take full advantage of it and let us know how you are doing.

Lost

Atta girl, Jetta!