Will I ever find a man who truly loves me?

This is my first post here. I am living with a man I have been with for 1.5 years. He decided to disclose to me this Saturday that he is not happy in our relationship and wants to sleep with other people. He basically pulled the old "it's not you it's me" thing, telling be I deserve better and he can't trust himself not to cheat on me...

Now we are going through a messy situation of splitting up and I'm trying to get him to move out of our apartment.

I am feeling so foolish right now. I truly thought this man loved me. I never had the desire to live with anyone in the past, but with him I wanted to. We talked about buying a house together and he even said he wanted to marry me... How could I have been fooled so easily? It feels like he never even cared about me...

How do you find true love? Someone who really wants to love you and commit to you? How can I prevent this from happening again?

How old are you? How long did you date before you moved in together? Do you both work?

We are both 30 years old and both work full time. We had been dating for a year before we decided to move in together. He told me he has been un happy for about six months so essentially since we moved in together..

There is your answer...moving in together changes the dynamic immensely.

I told him the same thing. He said that he hasn't felt passionate or any intimacy between us in six months.. I said I'm sorry I'm not as exciting as before we moved together. This is all a shock to me because personally I have been very happy. I know a domestic situation changes things, but what can I do? We are living together, it's hard to not be in a domestic situation.

You can't do anything. He decided he doesn't want to play house.

feelings just change. when he said all that stuff about marrying back then, he might have meant it. but feelings dont hold for ever. one of two always falls out of love at some point. its how most breakups go. i mean. atleast he was decent enough to tell you and not cheat on you.

i always thought this "its not you its me" thing is BS. but i think there are cases where its true. he fell out of love, it is not necessarily your fault and maybe he doesnt even know why either. if there was a trick to prevent this there wouldnt be any break ups anymore.

How do you know when a man really loves you? Because apparently I have no idea...

He clearly loved you but wasn't ready to play house and settle down.

Did you miss the signs that from moving in together the relationship deteriorated?

love doesnt hold forever. and sometimes it doesnt even hold for multiple months. i dont know what to tell you.

everyones different. everyone acts differently when in love. some are really jealous while others have no problems having open relationships and such. just because he doesnt love you NOW it doesnt mean he never truly loved you or that he thought he did. you shouldnt backtrack the situation now to your whole relationship. it seems you were happily together for a year and he even moved in with you. i dont think one would do that just for the heck of it. if the relationship didnt fulfill him it doesnt mean it was your fault or that he never loved you.

i guess you can tell from how he treats you. i dont know. my recent ex said, she definitely knew i loved her and that she could even see it in my eyes when we were together. but not everyones an open book in regards to feelings like me.

He's trying not to hurt you and let you down at the same time. He's not ready for commitment .As for finding love,It just takes time.. Keep doing what you're doing. Go out, have fun, meet other guys, and keep your heart open. Someone else will come along when you least expect it

So this guy basically hoped he'd get a housemaid who would let him sleep around, gack. Honestly, what you do is what I had to do for some years. You date the guy, it's all cool, then when they pull something like that you show them to the door, you heal, you cry, then you shout "next" and see if the next guy will be better.

And above all you work out what are your dealbreakers and you look for red flags. Surely there were some before this all went down, because it takes a pretty scummy human being to say "I've decided I don't like living with you, please let me sleep with other women while you continue to keep my house for me."

There were red flags there, but you either overlooked or explained them away. All I can tell you is to start spotting red flags earlier, don't explain them away, and when you see enough of them adopt the attitude, "Too bad, I really liked you, but I am not putting up with that. Out."

It's all you can do until you find the guy who doesn't have major red flags flying and you find over time he just gets better, not worse. And in the meantime you develop a great life anyways and adopt the attitude that someone sharing your life is a bonus, but not the be all, end all of life. Yes, it's nice to have a partner, but the right one. And you need other things in your life too, so even if you aren't with anyone you have family and friends and activities to fill your time and make you happy.

One huge indicator for me has been the other person's manners. A guy with good manners across the board was what I finally decided I needed, that and consistency of thought, action and affection. If I didn't see those two things I had to learn the hard way it was never going to work for me no matter how much I might want it to do so. You want someone with empathy who treats everyone decently from you to the clerk at the store to the homeless man on the street to his mom/relative/friends. Those are the people worthy of your love. Remember, you are the prize.

This current guy is a total moron. He lost you. That makes him very stupid and life is too short to waste on really stupid people.

My heart goes out to you. You're not a fool. You loved openly and honestly. This guy doesn't own the capacity to view you through the right lens. It's natural to grieve and feel off balance.

Write more if it helps.