Mjdino Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 I am currently pregnant. And the past few months we’ve had some rough patches of fighting. But recently, we’ve better our communication and I thought things were getting better. Yesterday, he went out with his friends to a fight. No big deal. I’m not one to blow him up with texts or stress. When he got home around midnight he said that his friend was coming to pick him up- again nothing I found suspect cause his friend has been having issues with his girl and they talk often. Normally they are only out for half an hour and he was gone for two. Again, not freaking. I fell asleep for an hour heard him come home. And it was off, it was three and he was showering. I drifted asleep and woke up about thirty minutes to go to the bathroom. And noticed that the shower was wet and I was a little more worried. Out of curiosity, I checked his underwear (TMI) and there was blood in the crotch and thigh area, which made me think he maybe had sex with someone on their period as I’ve seen it before with us before. I confronted him about it calmly and he got defensive and said it was gross but we’ve done it before. Now I’m just worried that I over reacted. But I can’t help but feel that I may be right.. thoughts? Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 Well if you are pregnant, you dont have a period, so where did the blood come from? I think this guy had sex with someone else before he came home. Link to comment
AviationNut Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 I am currently pregnant. And the past few months we’ve had some rough patches of fighting. But recently, we’ve better our communication and I thought things were getting better. Yesterday, he went out with his friends to a fight. No big deal. I’m not one to blow him up with texts or stress. When he got home around midnight he said that his friend was coming to pick him up- again nothing I found suspect cause his friend has been having issues with his girl and they talk often. Normally they are only out for half an hour and he was gone for two. Again, not freaking. I fell asleep for an hour heard him come home. And it was off, it was three and he was showering. I drifted asleep and woke up about thirty minutes to go to the bathroom. And noticed that the shower was wet and I was a little more worried. Out of curiosity, I checked his underwear (TMI) and there was blood in the crotch and thigh area, which made me think he maybe had sex with someone on their period as I’ve seen it before with us before. I confronted him about it calmly and he got defensive and said it was gross but we’ve done it before. Now I’m just worried that I over reacted. But I can’t help but feel that I may be right.. thoughts? What was his explanation for the blood? Unless there's an obvious injury to the area, I think you already know the answer... Link to comment
TeeDee Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 Why was cheating your 1st thought? If I found blood in my husband's underwear I would assume he had internal injuries or a urinary tract infection. I wouldn't think he had sex with a menstruating woman. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 Has he cheated before? Link to comment
TeeDee Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 If he went to a fight that room was hot & sweaty. If he was up close to the ring, 1st-4th row he may have gotten sweat, blood or spit on him from the fighters. It's really disgusting. Maybe the room was smoky too. She can't just up & leave the father of her unborn baby based on a paranoid hunch. Link to comment
TeeDee Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 He went to the fight earlier in the night and got home at midnight. Then went out again after midnight with his friend, gone for two hours. And the blood. Something happened, don't let him gaslight you. I'm not saying she shouldn't get to the bottom of this but because all of this can be explained for reasons other than cheating I think she can't jump to conclusions, especially while she's hormonal & not thinking straight. Paranoia is not a reason to give up on a relationship. A UTI is far more probable then an affair. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 I'm not saying she shouldn't get to the bottom of this but because all of this can be explained for reasons other than cheating I think she can't jump to conclusions, especially while she's hormonal & not thinking straight. Paranoia is not a reason to give up on a relationship. A UTI is far more probable then an affair. I think that the blood is pretty clear evidence of cheating. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 I confronted him about it calmly and he got defensive and said it was gross but we’ve done it before. How does THAT explain how the blood got in his underwear??? ... and no, he did not get it from the fight unless he was sitting there watching with just his tighty whities on. That is the most implausible excuse he could ever give you and if you believed it then I would question your own better judgement about the difference between "trust" and "blind trust." Just how close is he to this "friend?" One further thought: If by that quote above he meant you and he had sex before he went out then that could be your blood. How far along in your pregnancy are you? Did you two have sex before he went out? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 He got blood from one of the fighters on his underwear? Was he flashing the fighters? That's a real stretch. I've had multiple UTIs and not one time did it result in blood on my underwear. It's time for a calm sit down talk. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 How does THAT explain how the blood got in his underwear??? ... and no, he did not get it from the fight unless he was sitting there watching with just his tighty whities on. That is the most implausible excuse he could ever give you and if you believed it then I would question your own better judgement about the difference between "trust" and "blind trust." Just how close is he to this "friend?" One further thought: If by that quote above he meant you and he had sex before he went out then that could be your blood. How far along in your pregnancy are you? Did you two have sex before he went out? Are you certain he is not bi? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 Exactly. No disrespect to anyone else's opinion, but I find it unsettling the stories some women will concoct in their minds to avoid facing reality. Goes out after midnight. Gone for two hours, comes home, jumps in shower, blood found on undewear. But it's a UTI infection? That he developed while out from midnight till 2:00 am? Unlikely. It is a big stretch. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 Are you certain he is not bi? That's what I was getting at without making the jump right to it without any proof. I'd also like to know if they had sex before he went out to see if it may be her blood. Would like to know how far along in the pregnancy she is. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 I agree but I'm just trying to rule out a possibility or two before concluding what may very well be the obvious. Link to comment
Mjdino Posted September 15, 2019 Author Share Posted September 15, 2019 We haven’t had sex in months. He won’t touch me. I’ve tried and he won’t. So no we didn’t have sex. He said he went to his buddies house and had to walk home. He tells me his penis is “dry” because of how much he’s working and having to shower. He doesn’t complain about pain. Link to comment
Mjdino Posted September 15, 2019 Author Share Posted September 15, 2019 We haven’t had sex in months so it’s not like it’s mine. He won’t even touch me Link to comment
Mjdino Posted September 15, 2019 Author Share Posted September 15, 2019 I tried to talk to him a few hours later once things settled down. He got defensive and upset with me and made me feel like I was in the wrong for being curious. He then started getting angry and Asked if I needed to smell his junk to clear his name.. becoming petty Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 Sorry this is happening. It seems his life is something that doesn't have much to do with you. Being the "cool gf' may stop the fights, but he's acting for himself, by himself. It's sad that there is so much you don't know about him, that underwear checking happens. I’m not one to blow him up with texts or stress. I checked his underwear and there was blood in the crotch and thigh area. I’ve seen it before with us before. I confronted him about it calmly and he got defensive and said it was gross but we’ve done it before. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 I tried to talk to him a few hours later once things settled down. He got defensive and upset with me and made me feel like I was in the wrong for being curious. He then started getting angry and Asked if I needed to smell his junk to clear his name.. becoming petty How did he react when you found out you were pregnant? Was the child planned? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 Depending on the amount of blood found, I'd have to wonder if he was using protection. If not, you have more on your plate besides his possible cheating. How long have you known him? Link to comment
Mjdino Posted September 15, 2019 Author Share Posted September 15, 2019 He was excited when we found out. And it seems that excitement has faded now. So maybe that is a factor Link to comment
Mjdino Posted September 15, 2019 Author Share Posted September 15, 2019 We’ve been together a year and I’ve known him for years since we went to school together. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 We’ve been together a year and I’ve known him for years since we went to school together. Oh, so you got pregnant right away. Going to school together and "knowing" him isn't the same as being a committed couple. Add in a baby (you didn't answer if the baby was planned or a "surprise" so I presume it was unplanned) right off the bat and he's apparently feeling some kind of way. But he should talk to you about it instead of having tantrums or reacting immaturely. And you should be secure enough to not feel like checking his underwear is something you need to do. If not, a serious talk and counseling is called for. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 Are you getting appropriate prenatal care? You need to discuss this privately and confidentially with your doctor and get tested for blood-borne and sexually transmitted diseases. You could be endangering your unborn child and yourself. Talk to your doctor asap, particularly since this keeps happening. At this point you do not know what his extracurricular activities entail. He's effectively shut you down and you are overdoing it with the 'cool gf' nonsense. Move out and go live with your family until you are safe and have answers from a doctor, not excuses from a liar who's out prowling at night.. For all you know he could be raping women or having male-male encounters. Get To A Doctor!Depending on the amount of blood found, I'd have to wonder if he was using protection. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted September 15, 2019 Share Posted September 15, 2019 We haven’t had sex in months. He won’t touch me. I’ve tried and he won’t. So no we didn’t have sex. He said he went to his buddies house and had to walk home. He tells me his penis is “dry” because of how much he’s working and having to shower. He doesn’t complain about pain. You know this is a bunch of BS. The question now is what are you going to do about it or are you just going to do nothing and pretend its all good?... which of course is your prerogative regardless of what we would do if in your shoes. Link to comment
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