aving21
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ok havent posted in here forever...but ill go over teh whole ordeal again and then the current state in which im confused Long story short went out for 3 1/2 years she wanetd time on her own but we still hooked up for 2 months then i cut it off and went NC.. So i go a good month without hearing from her and she starts randomaly once a week or so texting me with nonsense i dont answer or pick up my phone ever.. Month ago she sends me a text that she thinks shes going crazy i tell her "itll be ok" but dont get all that into it Ever since shes been texting more and more frequently but i just dont know hwo to look into it. Im over it not completely 100% over it but im doing good. but she told me she misses me and wants to see me but is afraid shell lead me on. I told her id rather just not see her and avoid the possibility of getting hurt.. But last week she again said id like to see you maybe we can go to this concert and i just dont know what to do.. Should i go and just expect nothing to happen or is that impossible..Or for my own sake should i just say no and cut her off until her feeling and what she wants are 100% concrete. thanks =/
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wasnt drunk at all we met in the line. and we got out big giant X's on our hands i hate that...but the point is every time in the last 3 weeks i would make the move then when i asked her about it she would say "oh because you kissed me and i wanted to make you happy" now this time she made the moves but im still gonna NC it.
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so i go to a club tonight and guess who goes too.her so i see her she comes over to me and we dance, dance closer things lead to another she makes a move on me and we end up making out. I take her home she grabs my hand in the car and falls asleep on my shoulder. for the first time she initiated everything and afterward i didnt overlook the whole situation and am still gonna stick to the no call. is that being an a-hole or just saving myself. Felt liek a first date kind of like i was meeting this random girl but it was her. o well =/
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So shes called about 3 times a night without leaving a message. /feel like answering every time but if she doesnt give me a conrete reason for calling then whats the point. Should i answer sooner or later? or just keep it up.
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So i finnaly get the guts to go talk to her and really take a liking to her(odd choice of words) so i add her on myspace and find out she has a son shes a year older than me and we share the same birthday. Now i dont care about the situation but if i get involved what should i expect? what should i do to ask her out? i like her but i dont wanna push things fast on some oen with this life. But i dont mind the kid thing. Any advice on what to do
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I see its the thing to do. Unless she leaves a concrete message of what she wants when she calls i wont answer or call her back. it just hurts.
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plus she says this isnt about moving on this is about how she needs time on her own to figure out what she really wants. And the other day she breaks down about how she doesnt appreciate me and hopes she will? i just dont get it.
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Thats how it was about two weeks ago. I would help her but when she was fine she wouldnt even call me. until i started distancing myself she would cling to me and say she loved me. She sees some girl and questions it. Tells me she wished she was sure. Its hard because the more i distance myself the harder she pushes for me. So its like she wants me there but when i say hey lets work it out she says " not now" its like every time the possibility of losing me goes through ehr head she goes out of her way to get me back then after that shell just stay the same. How can i get through to her that she WILL lose me if she descides we arent worth it now. How do i do that while still being there? Should me being there for her be part of what shes missing. Like id be tehre for her if i was hers but if im not shell go crazy its so hard.
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Im basically goign through this except it isnt really a "grass is greener phase" its a selfish phase where she needs time to get herself together before she can move on with or without me. But yet she still clings to me liek we are still together. I can tell this when i distance myself or talk to some one online she finds out some how and clings back. I dont understand why people would take a chance though if she came back to me i dont even know now if i would be so eager to jump right into things. So yah some times couples need "time apart" to figure out how much they miss. But if one person takes the time off from what ive experienced its pretty much a stab in the heart and the other isnt too happy when she comes back. some times it takes being away from some one to really notice what you had. but taking a risk like that is harsh on the other.
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Im still there for her for w/e shes going through im just not gicing in to her. She still wants me there but doesnt want to commit but the second i am distant she clings back. Its like shes keeping me there so when shes done hating herself we can just start back where we left off. Thats nto the case every day im growing further and further from her. As for strict Nc i cant do that. If she goes through something hard im right there if she wants to go out i dotn care as long as she innitiaites it and cant use the excuse of just doing it for me. she told me other night she doesnt want to lose me and i said well you might if you keep this up. So she wants to get back together down the road and just string me through her phase. Thats a bunch of BS to me. Maybe shell realize it before its too late and i just go see some one else. But until then im not gonna kick her to the curb she means too much to me to let her suffer through her problems alone.
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little background. she breaks up with me but wants me still there we go through a time where everything is normal but when iq uestion us she says i dont know. We hook up alot and its ok but i get fed and tell her look you cant do this and i only want you to call me if you need me then im here but im not gonna call,text anything because you need to innitiate it. Because prior to that we would go out hook up and i asked her why she would say " well you wanted to and i just wanted to make you happy" so its fone at that. We go through 3 or so days and shes online and says she had a mental break down how she doesnt appreciate anything and more. 2 days later(last night) she calls me 3 times i dont answer. She calls my cousin and tells him to tell em to pick up my durn phone. So i do She calls and im liek why did you call she says " wanna see how you are" i say well im fine dont do that then she says all quick i just wanna talk. i say fine whats up and she explains her day and gets into sex for some reason and i just stay distant and talk. THEN she says oh i was looking at your myspace whos this girl??????( she doesnt even have myspace but shell go on her friends to check up on mine) im like oh some girl i met who im talking to. Then from then on she starts talking all cute and lovey ...so after an hour or so im like look if you need me im here ima go to bed shes like I LOVE YOU mwuah mwuah and i hang up. i dont understand she keeps me there because she doesnt wanna lose me. But every time ive questioned us she freaks but now she sees some girl and calls me 4 times??? why is she trying to keep me hers. She said she needed time ti figure out this "bad person shes become" and i said fine. i just dont understand why every time i pull away she clings to me and acts all lovey. help =(
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ok an update i dont call,text her for 2 days and last night she calls i ignore calls i gnore ignore calls 2 more time then calls my cousin telling to tell me to pick my phone up. So im like ok w/e she calls and is like hey . And i say whyd u call and she says oh just wanna see how you are. And im like uh ok im fine but why you calling ME to see you i am told you not to. Shes like i just wanna talk. And talks cute the whole time and talks some what dirty halfway through and after an hour or so i just say look why did you call. She says i just wanted to talk. Well i said ok well call me if you need me ok? shes like your goign to sleep now? i say yah good night she says good night blows a kiss and i hang up. i dont understand this why would she call me 5 times just to see how i was. and then talk all cute liek nothing at all was going on between us. This is whats shes been doing last few weeks talking the part acting the part but when i question our status she crys and says she doesnt want to work it out. i just dont get it.
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I go online last night and she breaks down saying shes going crazy and becoming an f'd up person who doesnt realize how good every one treats her and doesnt know why. i talked to her for a good hour about it and she said she needed to call me again. And she paused me and told me how much she loves me. but i didnt cling i said i know you love me but you have to figure out what you want on your own.i said ill be there for you but only call if you need me because i wont be. Through a crisis like this where one loses sight of everything. What would come out of the end of this. id hope shed see everything ive done for her and remember that and reach out to me. But i also hope she finds that beautiful girl i came to know rather than this bad person she sees in her self. How do i help her and show her im there while still protecting myself? i thought id only talk to her or see her if she wanted to and never suggest anything. And if she just wanted to talk id keep it short and sweet. So i could heal. but in her saying she realized who shes pushing away and then saying she loves me so much is that a hope i can cling on to. or should i continue on and only taqlk to her when she comes to me. im confused about this whole thing and no one has helped me so far =(
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Goign through the same thing.We break up then start seeing each other and everything felt back to normal. Then she said she still doesnt know if she wants to work things out and be alone. She couldnt give me a straight yes or no. Do you find yourself looking into every thing she does//says as a hint she wants back in it? i do. So im going nc with her for awhile to face it like its over. I know it hurts but try to face it likes its over. If she comes back it will be your choice. i see a confusion in a girl as both sides. She doesnt wanna lose you but doesnt knwo for sure if she wants you. Leaver her to this and try to move on. Ive been on this for 2 days now myself and i just wanna go on like we have but it hurts. If she cant give you a solid answer then stay away and let her make up her mind. Nothing you can do say will have an impact on her choice this is about her now. not you. Honestly i think my ex will come back due to how we were when we are together but i find myself not in love with her. So keep this in mind. just remember an "i dont know" doesnt mean yes but it also doesnt mean no. But for your hearts sake treat it as a no.
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just need help