Starlight925

My thoughts are, why is it so important for you to analyze a relationship of a person you just met?

He gave up his relationship with his own family over this woman? He still expresses this level of anger over messages, and yes, he went back to her after she treated him like dirt. The fact that he simply won't talk to you about it is concerning. Have you tried therapy? Will he go to couples counseling? I suspect there is a whole lotta stuff here to unpack, and yes, I see your frustration in living like this. Since their child is 10, there are many more years ahead of this animosity. I wish there was such a thing as "Urgent Care Therapy" places for you, but in lieu of that, I highly recommend you find therapy, stat.

How old are the kids? I ask, because it matters due to shared custody and amount of time he and she communicate. You said that he angers very quickly. Can you give an example or two? John Gray (Mars & Venus) said that 90% of the time, an over expression of anger has little to do with the current incident, but from unexpressed anger from the past. So, for example, a person who road rages, often has unmet anger expression needs from their past, etc. The postcards, phone pics, etc. are just signs of their relationship. Photos re-uploading to phone albums via Cloud storage is a real thing and has recently been addressed via a new Security update. They had a relationship, they had a past. But, as @MissCanuck asked, are you afraid that he still has unresolved feelings for her?

No he is not a POS. He showed you exactly who he is, and you bought it. Hook, line, and sinker. He's the Temu of men, all shiny and perfect until you uncover the layers. You did, and you continued, and you've spent several posts here defending your situation with him. He's so wonderful, he makes me feel so special, blah blah blah. He's exactly who he was the first time you unhooked your bra for him. He's not even planning on a divorce, and you knew this. These 5 other men....any relationship prospects? Or more FWB's? Are you trying to humble-brag about how "hot" you are, that you have 5 men after you? My advice is, stop with all the men. The FWB's, the hookups, all of it. Focus on therapy, on figuring out just why it is that you can't seem to spend one evening without these men fawning all over you. There, you'll find your peace.

Yes, yes, and yes to everything @yogacat said. You are asking "why", and it's possibly that, through therapy, you'll figure it out. I have some guesses, but that's not relevant, nor am I a therapist. What is relevant is what others have said already, and I'll repeat: You are holding your own self back by staying with him. You are allowing this "mad, passionate chemistry" to keep yourself blocked. You're 59? Want to be 69 and still alone? Because a friend of mine is in exactly that position now, closing in on 70. She's so "in wuv" with the guy who does exactly what yours does: keeps her at arm's length, compliments other women, waits for her to run to him for "hot passionate sex". She will be SEVENTY on her next birthday. Want to be like her? Keep doing what you're doing.

I don't think you're addicted to the sex itself. I think you're addicted to the feeling of being desired. When a man wants sex with you, he tells you all these flowery things about how wonderful you are, how beautiful, special, sexy. And oh, hey, let's jump in the sack. Sure, you like the sex itself. But for you, it's emotional. You "can't" leave him because he fills your need to be desired. Your husband filled that need every day, constantly, exhaustingly, telling you how beautiful you are. You are here posting because this guy isn't filling that need at the moment, yet he's telling you that he feels that way about other, random women. This gives you a huge insecurity, and you just want the pain to stop, you want him to say the things about these other women, about you. But then he kisses you passionately, and you "feel" his desire for you. He's your drug of choice.

How old is your son? Sounds like he's an adult? As @Batya33 pointed out, as an adult, he can make his own decisions. Often, we experience different relationships with the same person. So, while your experience with your MIL has been mostly negative, his has not, even if you view it from your lens as negative. He does not. Does that make sense? I worry that you will drive a wedge between yourself and your son, and a deeper wedge with your MIL and possibly your husband. Do you want to be on one side alone, while the two of them have a great relationship without you? Is this a bit of envy on your part? You feel a certain way about her, and you want him to stand on your side and feel that same way; not only is he not standing with you, he's engaging with her, leaving you out?

Flat out disrespectful. Even in a non-dating situation. If you're out with a same-sex friend for dinner, and that friend continually looks off at other people, it's a sign that they're not giving you full attention. That you're not as important as what/who they're looking at. Me no likey.

First of all, congratulations! Yay you!! Secondly, I am so so sorry for the loss of your father. As for the siblings who won't move around their busy schedules, well poo on them. Some people, you'll learn in life, as has been said above, can't, or won't, see outside themselves. If it doesn't directly affect them, they have no interest. Enjoy your day, throw your cap, and be proud of what you've done!

The above 3 points are her decisions, her business, and what she wants is someone to follow her strict procedures and guidelines. This is what it is. Period, full stop. Stop trying to turn each job into something else. You know this from your first weeks here. This is how it is. Stop trying to create clever marketing, etc. She doesn't want this. She owns the business. You do not.

I think you all are wrong here. You should not have posted asking for money, even though it was a joke. He should not have asked for your CashApp to send you money. You should have declined once he did. Boyfriend over reacted. But if I had to go with the least wrong? Boyfriend.

Me? I'd end it immediately. Lying for me is a 1-time offense. Also, for me, 15 years age difference is too much. You do you boo, but you asked for opinions, so that's mine.

I meant that the post sounds like Spam. Like advertising.

They are prioritizing their children over their friendships. This is very true. And it's as it should be. Lives change, and we must adapt to those changes. These are the friends of your youth. They will probably move into the seldom-see category, but if you act with grace, they will be forever friends. Just not the close 3 Musketeers of your younger selves. As for being an Auntie, all that sounds so fun, until the baby comes, new mommy hasn't slept in weeks, baby is always hungry, dirty, crying, doctor visits...and the movie star version of 3 best friends being Auntie's to each other's children goes out the window. Gwyneth Paltrow isn't starring in this version. Give these friends the grace they deserve. And yes, if you want to be in a child's life, it's up to you to make the effort, not the worn out mom. I've watched dozens of women, including my family members, become moms, so I'll say this once: How DARE you judge the way they mother their children.

Are you advertising for one?