Starlight925

No he is not a POS. He showed you exactly who he is, and you bought it. Hook, line, and sinker. He's the Temu of men, all shiny and perfect until you uncover the layers. You did, and you continued, and you've spent several posts here defending your situation with him. He's so wonderful, he makes me feel so special, blah blah blah. He's exactly who he was the first time you unhooked your bra for him. He's not even planning on a divorce, and you knew this. These 5 other men....any relationship prospects? Or more FWB's? Are you trying to humble-brag about how "hot" you are, that you have 5 men after you? My advice is, stop with all the men. The FWB's, the hookups, all of it. Focus on therapy, on figuring out just why it is that you can't seem to spend one evening without these men fawning all over you. There, you'll find your peace.

Yes, yes, and yes to everything @yogacat said. You are asking "why", and it's possibly that, through therapy, you'll figure it out. I have some guesses, but that's not relevant, nor am I a therapist. What is relevant is what others have said already, and I'll repeat: You are holding your own self back by staying with him. You are allowing this "mad, passionate chemistry" to keep yourself blocked. You're 59? Want to be 69 and still alone? Because a friend of mine is in exactly that position now, closing in on 70. She's so "in wuv" with the guy who does exactly what yours does: keeps her at arm's length, compliments other women, waits for her to run to him for "hot passionate sex". She will be SEVENTY on her next birthday. Want to be like her? Keep doing what you're doing.

I don't think you're addicted to the sex itself. I think you're addicted to the feeling of being desired. When a man wants sex with you, he tells you all these flowery things about how wonderful you are, how beautiful, special, sexy. And oh, hey, let's jump in the sack. Sure, you like the sex itself. But for you, it's emotional. You "can't" leave him because he fills your need to be desired. Your husband filled that need every day, constantly, exhaustingly, telling you how beautiful you are. You are here posting because this guy isn't filling that need at the moment, yet he's telling you that he feels that way about other, random women. This gives you a huge insecurity, and you just want the pain to stop, you want him to say the things about these other women, about you. But then he kisses you passionately, and you "feel" his desire for you. He's your drug of choice.

How old is your son? Sounds like he's an adult? As @Batya33 pointed out, as an adult, he can make his own decisions. Often, we experience different relationships with the same person. So, while your experience with your MIL has been mostly negative, his has not, even if you view it from your lens as negative. He does not. Does that make sense? I worry that you will drive a wedge between yourself and your son, and a deeper wedge with your MIL and possibly your husband. Do you want to be on one side alone, while the two of them have a great relationship without you? Is this a bit of envy on your part? You feel a certain way about her, and you want him to stand on your side and feel that same way; not only is he not standing with you, he's engaging with her, leaving you out?

Flat out disrespectful. Even in a non-dating situation. If you're out with a same-sex friend for dinner, and that friend continually looks off at other people, it's a sign that they're not giving you full attention. That you're not as important as what/who they're looking at. Me no likey.

First of all, congratulations! Yay you!! Secondly, I am so so sorry for the loss of your father. As for the siblings who won't move around their busy schedules, well poo on them. Some people, you'll learn in life, as has been said above, can't, or won't, see outside themselves. If it doesn't directly affect them, they have no interest. Enjoy your day, throw your cap, and be proud of what you've done!

The above 3 points are her decisions, her business, and what she wants is someone to follow her strict procedures and guidelines. This is what it is. Period, full stop. Stop trying to turn each job into something else. You know this from your first weeks here. This is how it is. Stop trying to create clever marketing, etc. She doesn't want this. She owns the business. You do not.

I think you all are wrong here. You should not have posted asking for money, even though it was a joke. He should not have asked for your CashApp to send you money. You should have declined once he did. Boyfriend over reacted. But if I had to go with the least wrong? Boyfriend.

Me? I'd end it immediately. Lying for me is a 1-time offense. Also, for me, 15 years age difference is too much. You do you boo, but you asked for opinions, so that's mine.

I meant that the post sounds like Spam. Like advertising.

They are prioritizing their children over their friendships. This is very true. And it's as it should be. Lives change, and we must adapt to those changes. These are the friends of your youth. They will probably move into the seldom-see category, but if you act with grace, they will be forever friends. Just not the close 3 Musketeers of your younger selves. As for being an Auntie, all that sounds so fun, until the baby comes, new mommy hasn't slept in weeks, baby is always hungry, dirty, crying, doctor visits...and the movie star version of 3 best friends being Auntie's to each other's children goes out the window. Gwyneth Paltrow isn't starring in this version. Give these friends the grace they deserve. And yes, if you want to be in a child's life, it's up to you to make the effort, not the worn out mom. I've watched dozens of women, including my family members, become moms, so I'll say this once: How DARE you judge the way they mother their children.

Are you advertising for one?

You don't need to tell him you lost interest, because he's already beaten you to it. He lost interest in you. He ogles other women, he does not care about your safety, he tells you he wants no commitment. That, my friend, is a man who has no interest.

Years ago, I broke up with my boyfriend after a trip back to his hometown because I told him he was never going to propose (I wanted him to), and we were DONE as far as I was concerned. He convinced me to stay with him, and a week later, he put together a beach picnic for us, where he proposed. I was like, oh no you don't buddy, not because I threatened to break up with you. He then gave me his grandmother's ring, which he said had been digging into his sock the entire trip home to his family. I know this is a different story from yours, but turns out, I was borrowing trouble. Don't borrow trouble.

As a good friend always says: "Don't borrow trouble". In other words, all this worry about a receipt you found, when nothing has happened with it. Maybe he bought it for a year from now? Maybe he hasn't proposed yet because he has the same feelings you do, that he wants to wait? Maybe he wants to propose tonight? We know none of these answers, so it's best to pretend you didn't just "come across it" (honestly, were you looking???).