Tangled Web of Emotions: How to Win Back a Lost Love

We all have had that special someone we let slip away - and we wish that we could turn back the clock to fix it. We might think of those times and feel regret, longing, disappointment, or even a bit of self-blame. There is an almost universal truth that "If only…." will overcome all our sorrows – if only we would have tried harder, or said the right thing, or done something differently.

The reality though is that a relationship has two people in it. When either one of them (or both!) makes a mistake and lets the relationship slip away, it almost always signals the end of that union. It is only by taking a deep breath and looking at the situation objectively - and honestly - that things can begin to move forward. When we try to get somebody back, it's essential that everyone involved is absolutely sure about their feelings. Otherwise you are going to create a tangled web of emotions that can become a nightmare.

Before taking the first step towards getting back together with your lost love, ask yourself this very important questions:

“What was it, or what was going on, that caused us to separate in the first place?”

This is a key question to finding out the underlying issues so you can work on moving forward. If they are overly serious or involve actions that can't be undone, then it may be time to consider a different solution. However, if they are more miniscule issues, such as arguments over small matters, chances are better that you may be able to get some help and move past them.

Another important thought is: “Do I miss this person?” Many times we are so caught up in the messiness and drama of the situation, that we forget to take a moment and just ask ourselves this simple question. Some of us hold on to relationships for dear life even when deep down inside, we know that it isn't working. This should be avoided.

Make sure that you both are still attracted to each other and still enjoy being together, if not, there's no point trying to restore something that won't give you any fulfillment. That being said, if you and your former flame enjoy each other's company and genuinely care for each other, then this may be a sign that you should take the next step and find ways to grow, learn and reconcile.

Reaching Out

The key to gaining back a lost love may be found in reaching out to them. However, doing this without appearing desperate or needy. Apologizing is a great first step, particularly if it was your mistake that caused the rift between the two of you. A sincere conversation where you explain why you made the mistake and why you're ready to make things right can often start the ball rolling in the right direction.

In addition, make it clear to them that mistakes have been learned from and will not be repeated. Give them a chance to express their feelings. While it may be hard to listen to their thoughts and feelings, respect and openness on both sides are essential for a successful reunion. Part of establishing trust is listening to what they have to say. Acknowledge their feelings, answer their questions and make the necessary decisions together.

If the feelings are still strong, it may be safe to start doing small activities that you used to do together. These don’t have to be romantic in nature - instead, you can go for a walk, have lunch, or watch a movie. This is also a chance for you to start building trust with them again.

See it Through

It is important to remember that winning back a lost love is not an overnight process. Even if it feels like it initially would be easy, it takes dedication, effort, and a lot of understanding to make it happen. You must be willing to see the process through and communicate openly.

Although it might seem easier said than done, putting in the effort and never giving up is the only way you will be able to win back the person you love. Approaching the situation with optimism and a positive attitude is essential to the success of rekindling a romance.

If you are having trouble opening up and getting them back, seeking professional help could be the ideal decision. A therapist can help you establish goals and support you while you navigate the complicated process of winning back a lost love.

A Word of Warning

Sometimes, no matter how much you want something, it unfortunately isn't meant to be. It's okay to accept that. No matter the effort, you may realize that you won't be able to journey together in the end. Respect that, and leave it respectfully. But before you come to that conclusion, do everything in your power to make the relationship work and make it last.