Dealing With an Ex Who Has a 'Creepy' Interest in You

Breakups are often difficult, and sometimes, the lines between somebody being just an ex-partner and becoming a stalker can be blurry. If you’re dealing with a situation where your ex has a “creepy” interest in your life, there are a few steps you can take to keep yourself safe.

The first step is to do an honest assessment of what your ex is doing that makes you feel uncomfortable. It may seem obvious, but it’s important to acknowledge their behavior objectively. Consider the frequency and intensity of their communication or attempts to contact you. Is it always unwelcome and inappropriate? Are they trying to find out too much about your current life and intruding on that? Do they act possessively and make intimidating comments?

If your ex is escalating their behavior and is appearing more dangerous to you, approach the situation responsibly. Contacting your local authorities is always a safe bet when it comes to stalking or harassment. In some cases, a restraining order may be necessary. It’s best to consult with an attorney if you think this is warranted to understand your local laws.

If you don't feel that the threatening actions necessitate police involvement, then having a direct conversation with your ex is another solution to consider. Demonstrate boundaries in this conversation by being assertive and specific about what you find unacceptable. This doesn’t necessarily mean being hostile or defensive, but instead expressing yourself firmly and confidently. Simply say, “I do not feel comfortable with this. This isn't acceptable. Please don't do this anymore.” Unfortunately, they may not respond well to this conversation, but it’s still important to establish clear boundaries.

Above all else, remember that you have the right to feel safe and secure. While it may be difficult to deal with an ex having a ‘creepy’ interest in your life, it’s important to take every measure to protect yourself and give yourself time to heal. Bouncing back from a breakup is challenging enough, remembering that you have control over the situation and can stay one step ahead of them will empower you to move forward.