How Do I Handle Rekindling with My Ex-Girlfriend Without Hurting Us Both?

Dear eNotAlone: I'm in desperate need of advice. Recently my ex-girlfriend got back in contact with me, and I'm still very much in love with her. We broke up several months ago, and we had plenty of issues leading up to our separation. We have a lot of unresolved feelings between us that make it hard to just be friends. We attempted to move on, with both of us seeing other people, but at the end of the day it seems like the connection between us is too strong.

The problem is that I don't want to hurt either of us. I know that if we both just dug into our emotions and explored the way we feel about each other, it would likely end in a lot more pain and broken hearts. She's been through a lot in the last couple of months, and it would be terrible if I add to her current load of stress. On the other hand, I can't deny that I deeply care for her and I don't want to let go of the chance to rekindle what we once had.

I feel completely lost. I don't know what to do and it feels like whichever avenue I choose, someone is going to get hurt. A solution to this would really mean a lot to both of us, as well as prevent any further heartache that could come from making the wrong decision.

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It's understandable to feel caught in the middle of an emotional tug-of-war when dealing with your ex-girlfriend. It's a difficult situation to be in when you still have strong feelings for someone but also have a deep concern for their wellbeing.

The first and most important step when tackling this issue is to prioritize communication. Making sure that you and your ex-girlfriend understand each other's feelings and concerns is fundamental. This means having honest conversations where you are open and vulnerable and share your innermost thoughts. Doing so allows you to determine what she wants and needs, as well as establish where you two may stand in terms of moving forward.

It's also essential to consider your own needs as well. Reopening communication without enough clarity may lead to more heartache in the future, so it's important to reflect on what is best for you. Take some time to think about your goals and values to ensure that you stay true to yourself and find the best solution for both of you.

It's completely normal to be scared of the possible outcomes. However, the only way to make a decision is to confront the fear and take the risk of finding what awaits at the other side. It is almost certain that there will be some bumps along the road, but always remember that you have the strength and courage to persevere through any situation.

Good luck!