How Can I Get My Ex Back?

Dear eNotAlone,

I'm really hoping you can help me with a tricky problem. I've recently gone through a difficult break up with a guy I was with for two years. I was very much in love with him but he wasn't willing to commit and ghosted me after a big argument. I won't deny we had a lot of issues, and that I am partly to blame for pushing him away, but I still want him back.

I guess I could go out and try to find someone new, but he's the one I'm still drawn to, and I'm so confused. I feel like I have genuine feelings for him and I can't seem to get him out of my head. He's all I can think about. Is it crazy to want to go back to him? Is there anything I can do? Has anyone ever been through this and come out unscathed?

I'm so lost and any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated.

- Lost and Confused

Dear Lost and Confused,

I understand how confusing and difficult a break up can be, especially when there are complicated feelings involved. It's understandable that you would like to explore a reconnection with your former partner. While it may be possible to rekindle your relationship, you must proceed with caution.

Due to the fact that you parted due to unresolved issues, it is essential to look honestly at those issues and determine if they can be resolved before you attempt to move forward. Consider why the two of you clashed in the first place. Was it due to differing values? Unrealistic expectations? Poor communication? Consider what needs to change in order for the relationship to work.

It's also important to recognize that even if the two of you manage to get back together, the same issues may arise again if they're not properly addressed. You must both be willing to take an honest look at your reach relationship and take responsibility for your part in it. If you can both do that, then you may have a chance at building a healthy relationship.

Do some honest soul searching and figure out what it is that you really want. Are you drawn to the idea of getting back together because it's familiar, or do you genuinely feel that it's what you need? Are you ready to work through the issues that you both face? Only when you fully answer these questions can you decide whether it's worth exploring a reconnection with your ex.

Focus on yourself as well as your relationship. Don't rush the process. Take time to get to know yourself better and build a strong sense of self-esteem. That way, if you decide to give your relationship another try, it will be from a healthier, clearer perspective.

I hope this advice helps. Good luck!