No Pain, No Gain: How to Rekindle a Relationship After Betrayal

Relationships are complicated and no two are ever alike. As humans, we tend to bring all our experiences to bear on them, which can make it hard to get along. Additionally, the very nature of a relationship is intertwined with our deep emotions, which can be easily triggered. When those feelings are hurt through betrayal, it’s even harder to mend the bond. But just because something is difficult, doesn’t mean it’s impossible – it simply means you have to work towards a common understanding.

If you're trying to get back together with a girlfriend who cheated on you, you’re in for a difficult, but rewarding journey. Divided impressions and feelings can make it seem impossible to break through the divide and heal your relationship. However, bringing back a sense of connection with your partner, despite the betrayal, isn't as impossible as it might feel at first.

The key here is communication and trust. All too many times, couples seek out reconciliation without really getting to the source of the problem. To start building trust again, both of you will need to be open and honest about the truth of what happened. Trying to put a band-aid on the issue and skip the hard conversations won’t truly allow you to get to the root of the issue and heal. Much of the time, this type of cheat happens when somethings are missing in the relationship. Talking openly and deeply can help determine what those things are, and how you can move forward in a healthier partnership.

Communication also serves to ensure that unwanted behavior isn’t just swept aside and forgotten. Cheating can seem like a disregard for the other person’s feelings, so addressing it and asking for forgiveness is key. Sometimes, the honest apology with words can open the most solidified doors. However, rebuilding a broken relationship does not rest solely on that single act. In addition to apology-talking, one must act differently as well. Showing remorse through action speaks volumes and will help you over time prove your trustworthiness.

Forgiving the betrayal can be even more complicated than the process of reconciliation. However, it is an integral part of the healing process. With each of us coming from different backgrounds and having experienced different forms of pain, this step can differ greatly between people. Nonetheless, forgiveness enables us to take control of the situation, rather than suffering under the emotions generated by betrayal. The process often requires a lot of introspection in order to work up the courage to forgive. It also involves letting go of the negative energy that keeps reoccurring when this issue is revisited.

Betrayals can scarcely be undone, and the true test of a relationship is how two people negotiate the sorrows that come between them. Facing the underlying issues in order to find common ground, rebuilding trust and allowing for forgiveness are the elements of a strong and lasting partnership. And though the road may seem long and arduous, the knowledge that you have successfully navigated the hardships of an emotionally charged situation can bring a great measure of satisfaction and contentment.

No pain, no gain – use these tips to help rebuild your relationship and lay the foundations for a lasting bond.