Please analyze this text from my ex after not hearing from her...

Ok...so my ex wife has been in a relationship with a new man for about three months. We have been separated for a year now. We did keep in contact for the first 8 months and were amicable, even though she took advantage of me and used me...I know...my bad! As of March, we haven't been in contact. I heard through others about her new man. I should state that right after she left, she went wild, engaging in a lot of threesome sex, sex with strangers, sex with my long time friend the night I moved out, and sex at work ( a high school ) with another teacher and a married janitor...during school hours...she told me and I confirmed it!

I received a few texts from her yesterday, out of the blue. I'm going to relay a few things she said in them, and I would like you to offer up your input and opinions, as I'm a little confused. I keep her number because of my stepson, btw...

* How are things? Are you playing ball? Did you get that full time teaching position at the college?

* Are you with anyone? Are you happy?

* Bill and I are moving forward. I met his kids last week. I only realized how much he likes me last week. I am getting my confidence back. He is lots of laughs like you.

* I've always been a one guy girl.

* I cried over all my bills I have to pay. The house won't sell.

* When you but your car, you'll have to show me. Blue is my favorite colour

* You're a good person. I still feel sad about us.

* I still don't want to live with anyone.

* Coffee soon, ok? Or is that a bad idea?

So, input anyone???

There is no need to respond to any of it. How is the divorce coming?

I didn't respond. Filing is in process for the divorce.

Wow, what a dumb and insensitive set of texts... she sounds like a piece of work.

She is a yo-yo! From him...to her....to you. I would not respond. Responding to her to give her satisfaction. She is the one who is confused not you. You just need to concentrate on yourself and move forward.

Agreed with Kadbanoo that it is insensitive and tasteless of her. Receiving a series of text messages like this would most certainly annoy me. First rubbing her new RS into your face, then complaining about stuff, to finally praise you as a person. She sounds quite insecure and is throwing a packet of breadcrumbs at you. I don't think you should respond at all.

She needs therapy and you need to keep moving forward, no sense going back to crazyville

She needs therapy

Really?...many people have said this to me, but can you tell me what distinctions give you this point of view?...I'm a little naïve, and just need feedback, since numerous friends and posters on other forums have relayed this to me...

She's clearly a lunatic, promiscuous (that's putting it politely), mentally unstable, and looking to ease any guilt she still has. I would not reply in any way, and block any means of communication other than the divorce procedure. Life's too short to be involved with people like this.

I would not respond. She sounds manipulative. Have you noticed?

Very manipulative. I see stuff like this and I realize that despite suffering heartbreak several times, I've had it pretty easy in that my exes were quite restrained in their behavior post-BU.

Sounds like she's very insecure, hence lots of sex and telling you how "I only realized how much he likes me last week. I am getting my confidence back. He is lots of laughs like you."

She's basically using everyone, including you for her own selfish needs. It might be hard for you to realize this, but I doubt she ever "loved" you or anyone else in the normal sense of that word. Detach and keep moving on, while learning what missteps you took, and what you need to do to not repeat them again.

She sounds manipulative. Have you noticed?

Believe it or not, I didn't notice until now...guess I'm naïve...she called me manipulative during our separation, but it seems she's the one who fits the bill for this...

but I doubt she ever "loved" you

You aren't the first to say this, including counselors...the more I delve into hindsight, the more I believe this to be true. Sadly, I think I have to accept this...9 years wasted when I could have met someone and had my own children ( she was tied when I met her ). Although the pain is slowly waning, it's quite tough to swallow this. I may have felt wanted and needed, but I have to accept that was being used and utilized for her own means, which was having a second income to support the household and an emotional support to see her through all of her crises.

Sigh!...how terribly sad is that...

How old are you?

How old are you?

I am 44, and so is she...

I realize there is nothing to salvage...and any kind of friendship would be toxic in this case.

I have to accept she is just not worth knowing...at all.

For someone to do as much damage as she has to one person, physically and mentally, is unfathomable. And I'm not even sure if she's done this willingly or not.

I'd like to think there was SOME good in this woman, but I'm afraid there isn't. I was never one to dismiss anyone from my life. Always forgave. Always thought that anything broken can be fixed. Not this time...

To everyone else, me included, these are extremely selfish and manipulative texts. She's banging some bloke now, and trying to make small talk with you? This woman has no respect for you, herself, or her new partner. Is it possible things won't work out between them? No one knows. What is certain is that you should not respond to any of those texts or anything similar in the future, especially if she's still in the relationship.

For someone to do as much damage as she has to one person, physically and mentally, is unfathomable. And I'm not even sure if she's done this willingly or not.

You get to choose whether to be damaged or strengthened.

It's a decision.

There is no doubt in my mind that she is not only texting me, but a number of other guys while three months in to her new relationship...which puts an even greater perspective on what kind of person she truly is.

A few months back, she verbally stated, "I want you to find someone so I'm off the hook". If that doesn't speak volumes, I don't know what does...among the other things she's said and done.

Sometimes I think I'm so fascinated with the complexity, the ruthlessness, and the corrupt make-up of this woman that it floors me...still in disbelief that I dedicated 9 years of my life to this. I feel shamed, embarrassed, and a chump.

Before posting this thread, I almost entertained the thought of going for coffee with her, but realized two things:

1. She is only offering this to alleviate guilt, and even if I said yes, she wouldn't follow through...

2. She wants to test the waters to see if she can ask me for money yet again.

I won't see her, and won't respond to her contacts. There is no good that can come from any of it!

You really need to set some very firm boundaries with this person. If you don't know how to do that, you should seek some counseling that will show you how/why this is important. This woman is very manipulative, but, you are also allowing her to be manipulative towards you. You teach people how to treat you by what you are willing to accept or not in their behavior towards you.

I would proceed with the divorce and cut all contact except where absolutely necessary and only relatable to the divorce or tying up loose ends. She no longer wants to be with you but yet, she is unwilling to fully let you go either. She is giving someone else all the positive aspects of a relationship but trying to keep you as her psychiatrist and handiman to solve her daily problems. Let her go. Doesn't mean you have to treat her harshly, but, show her that you have self respect by not playing into her games and are choosing to move on.

This messed up women should be dead to you. you have wasted enough of your life with this person. Cut the cord, totally!!

This women is a user and manipulator. She has issues that have never been worked on by her actions and how she speaks.

Be happy you did not have kids with her, she did you a favor.

Move on and have a great life. I wish you the best