Is it ok to break up with my LD boyfriend over the phone?

So, my boyfriend isn't really far away from me, he's 1 hour and 15 minutes. The reason I say "long distance" is because he has car problems and money problems so visiting often is not something that happens. I, on the other hand, just upgraded from a scooter (no interstate) to a motorcycle, and don't have enough driving experience to get on the interstate right now; I do, however, have the gas money to give to him. However, we both have time issues, we both work two jobs and I'm a full time student, which is another reason we don't see each other often. SO, with all of that said:

Should I pay for his gas and wait about 1 1/2 weeks to break up with him (when he says he will be able to come up, though those dates aren't a guarantee)? I'm ready to do it now, and I feel like a small person for wanting to do it on the phone, but I really don't want to pay out $30 on gas and wait 1 1/2 weeks just to do it in person. We've been dating since July, if that helps.

Ok... what should I do?

I think it is acceptable that you do it on the phone, since you are dating for three months now and it is complicated for you to meet. It's my opinion.

But I would also offer him the chance to meet and talk things out personally in case he asks you to talk about it personally.

Actually it was the last week in June that we started to date, so like, 4 months. But ya not a really long time.

Yes, in this specific situation I'd say it's ok to break up over the phone, no need to have him make the drive and for you to pay the gas and wait 10 days only to tell him it's over. If he really wants to talk in person after that, it would have to be on his own money.

Over the phone is fine for as long as you dated and with the money/gas difficulties. It's better than him spending the time and money to see you just to get dumped.

I also think over the phone is OK but maybe just make sure you have enough time to talk and everything. I think that just because it's on the phone you shouldn't just take the easy way out and you do owe him a proper conversation, an explanation and closure. I think you should also offer to talk in person if he wants to next time he's in town. Then it's up to him to make that decision if he wants to meet you and talk, or whether he's just happy to leave it as the phone conversation only.

It's ok as long as you explain to him that you are doing this so he doesn't travel to see you.

Yes, break up over the phone. We're talking a few months here and you both have major transportation and schedule issues that are going to be a strain for even the best of relationships. It seems actually kind of cruel to pay for his gas, for him to come all the way to see you, only to get dumped when he has no clue that's happening. Breaking up by phone is the kinder thing to do, believe me.

If it were four years or even a year I'd say different, but until you reach the point where you can't say it's been months rather than a year or more it's still a new relationship and not necessarily going to be a permanent one. I would find the obstacles between you extremely daunting to say the least.

Thanks everyone. Now I just need to find the b**** to do it. *sigh*

I agree that in your situation the phone is fine. It's a fairly short relationship.

Jennifer, I guess my question is, are you sure you want to break up with him? Because the only reason why someone in your situation pondering a breakup would want to pay their boyfriend gas money just to break the news in person is if she doesn't want to break the news. Instead, she secretly hopes for him to find some way to talk her out of it, to show her that it will be better somehow, kind of like the old Tracey Chapman lyric, "Give Me One Reason to Stay Here/And I'll Turn My Back Around."

You need to think one more time about whether this is really what you want or if you just want to give it one more chance. But if you determine, or have already determined, that there is no way that this relationship can continue, it is incredibly inconsiderate to have him take several hours of his day to drive to your city and back just to experience an emotional plunge when he goes from happy anticipation at being able to see you to getting tossed in the dumps when you pull the rug out from under him. If you really want him gone, just do it on the phone, don't waste his time or your money on a painful evening.

I think it's always okay to break up on the phone.

I don't understand face to face break ups...I'd rather stay at home and not get dressed to hear disappointing news.

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Maybe that should be a first date question with all the others:

Where do you see yourself living in 5 years?

Do you one day want children?

Peanut butter or Nutella?

How would you rather be broken up with:

A) in text- don't waste my minutes, b*tch!

B) on the phone- then I can cry and eat Oreos in my pyjamas much faster

C) in person-I need hugs!!!

D) c plus- I also need to ask 45 questions and have you explain that "it's not me, it's you" repeatedly so I can cope.

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