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  1. #1
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    Boyfriend confessed to cheating

    I feel completely devastated on one hand, and numb on the other hand. I've been posting on here for four months, so many of you probably know my story. Boyfriend broke up with me in December, listing reasons like depression and wanting to move out of state. He kept coming back though, and then leaving again. We finally officially got back together beginning of March. Then he got a cold sore, and got distant for three weeks. He's never had a cold sore before, so I asked whether he had kissed the girl that he went out on one date with while we were broken up. He said no, and got upset at me for asking that question. He said that I have trust issues. Refused to see me for three weeks. Here's the link for my three weeks of doubting myself: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=446161 Then we worked it out because I apologized. Things have been okay since then. We have a cruise that we're leaving on next week, so we were excited about that. Not perfect, but it was starting to get back to normal.

    He stayed the night last night. We had sex for the first time in a long time, and it was great. I took a shower this morning, and came to him and dropped my towel afterward. He covered me up in the towel, and sat me down on the bed. And confessed that he had been having sex with a girl from work since the first week after our breakup. He said that he tried to cut it off after we got back together, but he slept with her during those three weeks that he refused to see me while he had a cold sore. We were officially a couple during that time.

    So, I'm sitting there naked in a towel on my bed listening to all this. I just feel like crap. I can't even process it all. It literally disgusts me to think of him with her. She started flirting with him probably a year ago, and he always swore that he was never attracted to her. But she acted inappropriately, so he agreed to not see her outside of work. So, somehow it's worse that it was her. And it's not like it was a one time thing with a girl that he met at a bar. It was repeatedly, with her, over four months. And it was after we got back together.

    And the really screwed up part is that he made me feel guilty throughout the past month for having trust issues. He said that I was imagining things, seeing things that weren't there. I apologized to him. I tried so hard to be the perfect girlfriend so that he wouldn't leave me again. And during all of it, he was sleeping with her. And they had oral sex. It's so disgusting thinking that I kissed him after he had oral sex with her. But what kind of person makes their partner feel guilty for having trust issues while they know that they're sleeping with someone? That's just so horrible.

    And the other worst part is that people kept telling me that there might be someone else. And I defended him. I'll admit, I do have trust issues. With prior relationships, I was quick to assume cheating. But I didn't with him. I trusted him. He was different. He was better than my other exes. He was a better man. He was christian, and he had the same values that I did. He was supposed to be better. And he did this.

    And then to make it even really screwed up, there's a part of me that wishes I didn't know. There's a part of me that still wants to be with him. I can't believe I said that. But I'm disappointed that we won't be going on a great cruise together next week now. What does that say about me? Why can't I just be pissed and telling him to screw himself.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member metrogirl's Avatar
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    Because you need time to really process everything he just told you and soon enough you should be mad enough to tell him to go kick rocks.

    I'm sorry by the way that he did this. Let his little work girlfriend have him, they deserve each other.
    I shared my spare on Feb 4th. Ask me about living kidney donation.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member mhowe's Avatar
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    Because you're afraid of being alone....but you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. You know that he was with someone, and lying to you about it the whole time.

    Accept that he is not the man you thought he was...and see him for who he truly is.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by metrogirl View Post
    I'm sorry by the way that he did this. Let his little work girlfriend have him, they deserve each other.
    When he broke up with her, she threatened to tell me. He still broke up with her. So she filed stalking charges against him, and he has to go to court. He said that he was with me at the time that she filed the charges against him. Karma's a *****.

  5. #5
    Bronze Member tjcalif's Avatar
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    That sucks! I have been following your story.. I am sorry. This has happened to me too.. My advice would be to think really hard about wheather or not you want to stay with him. If you do you have to forgive him or you will only have resentment towards him and the relationship will get worse. I wish this didnt happen I was so hoping things would get better for you.. Maybe this will be the breaking point you need to start feeling good about yourself cause this has nothing to do with you and this was all his fault! Try and have a good day!

  6. #6
    Platinum Member metrogirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LonelyGirl10 View Post
    When he broke up with her, she threatened to tell me. He still broke up with her. So she filed stalking charges against him, and he has to go to court. He said that he was with me at the time that she filed the charges against him. Karma's a *****.

    But he's still sleeping with her?
    I shared my spare on Feb 4th. Ask me about living kidney donation.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by metrogirl View Post
    But he's still sleeping with her?
    He said the last time was during the three weeks that he didn't see me... so about 1.5 weeks ago. He said he won't do it again, and wants me back. I told him no, obviously.

  8. #8
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    He also keeps saying that I never would have found out if he hadn't told me. He said that he's better than my exes, because he didn't get caught. He confessed. Like that should give him points or something.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Edmund Exley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LonelyGirl10 View Post
    When he broke up with her, she threatened to tell me. He still broke up with her. So she filed stalking charges against him, and he has to go to court. He said that he was with me at the time that she filed the charges against him. Karma's a *****.
    Yes it is and I always love when cheaters end up with psychopaths.

    Sorry you're going through this. Stay strong and remind yourself that you are better off not dealing with someone who no longer deserves your trust.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member metrogirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LonelyGirl10 View Post
    He also keeps saying that I never would have found out if he hadn't told me. He said that he's better than my exes, because he didn't get caught. He confessed. Like that should give him points or something.

    Well that was a donkey comment if I ever heard one. Is he expecting some sort of prize because he owned up and confessed? He confessed because i bet she was about to tell you all about their dirty little secret.

    He's an ass, she's a pig. Those two barnyard animals definately deserve each other.
    I shared my spare on Feb 4th. Ask me about living kidney donation.

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