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  1. #11
    Gold Member Roasted Carrots's Avatar
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    I agree with everyone on here. It sucks to lose $300 on a dress that you'll never wear, but not is NOT the time to talk about the money. Be there for her. If it comes up later, once she's done grieveing, maybe you can slip it in.

    Who knows? Maybe they'll work things out and you'll end up using the dress after all.

    Just consider it lost for now. Sorry!

  2. #12
    JadedStar's Avatar
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    There is no tactful way to ask your friend for this money back. When you buy a bridesmaids dress it is pretty much money out the window regardless.

    That is kind of sad that yousaid your main concern is the money you are out for the dress vs concern for your friend in what must be a pretty tumultuous time for her right now.

  3. #13
    Gold Member RelaxByWater84's Avatar
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    One of my profs. told us to never bring money into the equation of friendship. He said, "Your best friend can become your enemy when you bring money up." My prof also advised that a great friendship is priceless compared to loosing money, "You lose money and you feel if for only a little while, however, you lose a friendship and you feel it for life."
    "Learn the rules completely so you can break them correctly"
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    "Whether we're a preschooler or a young teen, a graduating college senior or a retired person, we human beings all want to know that we're acceptable, that our being alive somehow makes a difference in the lives of others."
    Fred Rogers (The World According to Mister Rogers)

  4. #14
    Platinum Member greensleeves's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shes2smart View Post
    As for what to do with the dress...you could try re-selling it -- ebay, craigslist, your local paper's classified. Is it prom season where you are? Maybe a notice at one of the local high schools or in the high school paper. Do you have a friend who sews or is artsy/crafty? Perhaps someone like that could tranform the garment into something you could use.
    Even better than selling it...have the entire wedding party donate the wedding clothes for kids going to proms but can't afford to buy an outfit for it. That way your friend will know that something good came out of her cancelled wedding. Here's a link.

    http://www.promspot.com/ps_article.h...PROM_YOUR_LOOK
    Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.
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  6. #15
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    First off, you shouldn't have had to pay for the bridesmaid dress to begin with.

    It befuddles me when brides ask someone to be in their wedding party but then say 'oh, it's an honour but it's going to cost you"

    Weddings that I've been to, the bride does( and should, IMO) pay for the dress.

    Everyone is right, there is no nice way to say it.. but she should have offered to pay for it in the first place.

    I think it's extremely rude to ask someone to be in your wedding, but then to make them pay for what you are making them wear.

  7. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by shikashika View Post

    Weddings that I've been to, the bride does( and should, IMO) pay for the dress.
    I've only heard of this happening in very rare circumstances(the familes were filthy rich )

  8. #17

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    Its actually pretty common to pay for your own bridesmaid dresses...when i had my wedding i paid for the girls to get their hair done and bought them a thank you present but unless you have endless funds coming out the wazoo its a super expensive additive that most people can't afford...


    Quote Originally Posted by shikashika View Post
    First off, you shouldn't have had to pay for the bridesmaid dress to begin with.

    It befuddles me when brides ask someone to be in their wedding party but then say 'oh, it's an honour but it's going to cost you"

    Weddings that I've been to, the bride does( and should, IMO) pay for the dress.

    Everyone is right, there is no nice way to say it.. but she should have offered to pay for it in the first place.

    I think it's extremely rude to ask someone to be in your wedding, but then to make them pay for what you are making them wear.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member greensleeves's Avatar
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    Yeah, as far as I know, it's the norm for bridesmaid's to pay for their dresses.
    Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.
    Dalai Lama

    When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
    Wayne Dyer

  10. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by kuiks8 View Post
    Its actually pretty common to pay for your own bridesmaid dresses...when i had my wedding i paid for the girls to get their hair done and bought them a thank you present but unless you have endless funds coming out the wazoo its a super expensive additive that most people can't afford...

    In the UK, from what I know, with all of my relatives living there, and many friends, the bride always pays... here in Canada, with my friends, they have mostely covered the bridesmaids, best man expenses... which they should in my opinion.

    I've heard in the states it's the bridesmaids that pay, unfortunately.

    I say if you can't afford it, then don't do it. It should be an honour,

    I think its very disrespectful to make someone shell out 300$ ... I couldn't live with myself if i knew a friend had to pay that much for me.

  11. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by i_win View Post
    I've only heard of this happening in very rare circumstances(the familes were filthy rich )
    but why should the bridesmaid have to cover the costs?? it's the bride and groom's decision to want a certain look or dress... guests should not be funding their wedding.

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